It's A Tough Job But Someone's Gotta Blow It

WARNING: In-your-end-o jokes ahead. Hide the kids!

*****

John: "Hey, we had a few complaints about that baby shower cake, so let's steer clear of anything too off-color today, ok?"

Jen: "Noooo problem. I have the perfect ON color cake we can use."

John: "Yeah?"

Jen: "Yep. I call it, 'TASTE THE RAINBOW.'"

John: "NO. Definitely no."

 

Jen: "What, you don't like it?
"Then how about 'Rubber Baby Buggy Balls'?"

"See, you can already tell it's a boy!"

John: "Why does the stroller have... ?! Never mind. No."

 

Jen: "Tiger Beat?"

John: "You're killing me here.

"Can't you just post some wrecky flowers or something? Please?"

Jen: "Flowers? ON IT."

[five minutes later]

"Got one! This baker says her co-worker made a border of 'exotic flowers.' You like?

"I think I'll call it, 'Ring Around the Posy Peens.'"

John: [silent glare]

"The Pollenators?"

[...]

"Petal Pushers?"

[...]

"Sticky Stamens?"

[...]

"Calla Willies?"

[...]

"One-Eyed Snapdragons?"

[...]

"Penis Flytraps?"

John: "You're answering tomorrow's e-mail."

 

Thanks to Jody M., Amber G., Ashley, & Anony M. for helping us find the rainbow... erection.

*****

P.S. Need a cool gift that doesn't involve X-rated flowers? Then how about a card that transforms into a bouquet of perfectly safe-for-work flowers:

Fresh Cut Paper Pop-Up Flowers

Although if you want to call that center one a Calla Willy, I won't stop you.

And you can stock up with the three-pack!

There are more flower styles and colors at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Stick Figure Cats Are Hard To Draw

 

Today we take the time to appreciate our adorable furry companions:

O.o

And also the terrifying ones.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

 

Whether they be "dogs"

 

 

"cats"

 

 

"honey badgers"

 

 

...or whatever this is:

 

I think we can all agree that iupiu38ru3p9jfn3cjjsa'''''''aa'sdij'fln

/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\

 

Thanks to Martina V., Chelsea M., Keesha V., Elizabeth S. and Katie C. for the excuse to make Suki’s stick figure debut.

*****

P.S. Clearly I'm more of a cat person, but look what I found for my parents' dogs:

Travel Water Bottle For Dogs


It's a water bottle... for dogs! There's a bowl on the end, and any unused water drains back into the bottle with a locking, leak-proof lid. My folks are full-time RVers who love to hike, so this is perfect for their two pups. The bottle comes in two sizes and two colors, and costs between $15-18. Be sure to check the customer photos for all the cute doggy photos and over 25 THOUSAND rave reviews.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: