Things I See In My Backyard That I'd Never Want To Eat

Today's episode of "Things I See In My Backyard That I'd Never Want To Eat" was written on location here in Swampsville, Florida. (Aka Orlando.)

Nope.

Noooooope.

Because if you can't polish it...

...slap some wings on it?

Still nope, by the way.

And finally:

Thanks to Igor V., Elizabeth C., Nathan D., & Anony M., who informs me she's got dibs on the tail.

[Hurk.]

*****

P.S. Need to hide your eyes *and* listen to music or a good podcast? Then check THESE babies out:

Bluetooth Sleep Headphones

I listen to boring audio books on these every night to keep my brain from spinning out of control, which works wonders for my insomnia. Lately I've been wearing them like a sleep mask -  like the model here - and WOW, gold stars. These things have been a life saver: comfy enough for side sleeping, not too loud like some of my old speakers, and they're on sale right now for $16 Prime!

Note that they do run on the big side, but that works out great if you have a big head like me. :D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Rhymin' Wreckers

What if cakes were the last lines in really bad poems?

Come, my friends. LET US DREAM TOGETHER.

Work anniversary
Head of the class
A lousy coffee cup??

You'll get no bars here
No cells in this park
So let's give a cheer:

Not sure how it works -
The questions are numerous
Still, hooray for you!

Like, this is totes "no"
ROTFL 4ever
ANYway, so,

Beard scruff and muscles
Scratchin' all day
Something that rhymes with muscles

With age comes wisdom
If I may be so bold
To the smartest friend I know:

I'm hip and I'm fly
All the bros know me
Ladies, I go by

Thanks to Anony M., Sarah S., Derek, Anony M., Melissa H., Karen T., & Hannah D. for helping us celebrate Bad Poetry Day without even knowing it.

*****

P.S. Here's a (hilarious) reminder that English is almost as confusing as these cakes:

P Is for Pterodactyl: The Worst Alphabet Book Ever

Also THE best gift for baby showers and kids' birthdays, if you like to sprinkle a little chaos in your friends' lives. Mwuahahaa.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: