Three Wrecks Guaranteed To Make Your Eye Twitch

This cookie cake is the visual equivalent of cruising down a smooth, freshly paved highway... and having your front tire fall off:

Oooh. So close.

 

This one's more like tripping and falling in front of a bunch of people, then getting up like nothing happened and limping off with a whistle just to show you meant to do that:

Bad news, Moms-To-Be: you're about to experience painful contractions.

 

Ahh, but nothing, NOTHING compares to reading this last cake aloud:

And that's how you sound like a Southern Belle wishing her hoo-haw a happy birthday, y'all.

 

Thanks to Melissa B., Desiree P., & Deedra G. for inflicting that fabulous new nickname on Virginias everywhere.

*****

P.S. Speaking of things that make your head hurt, a friend recently got me this gel cap for my migraines, and sweet icy Stay Puft, y'all, it's amazing:

Migraine Hot/Cold Gel Cap

I have a huge head and a lot of hair, so it's pretty snug on me, but the extra pressure with the cold is heavenly during a migraine. I used to hold a cold pack and keep shifting it around from side to side, but this wraps my entire skull in a cooling hug. Ahhhh so good.

I keep the gel cap sealed in the fridge all the time now, so I can grab it as soon as a headache starts up. The cold only lasts 15-20 minutes, but it's 1000% worth it in my book, highly recommend.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

6 Kids' Cakes So Creepy They're Actually Hilarious

[dramatic announcer voice]

From the wreckers who brought you... Monkey Ball!

 

Handsy McStrangles-A-Lot:

 

Bee-Elzebub:

 

Ham Head!

 

And this candle:

 

Comes the most terrifying children's birthday cake of 2014.

She's not here to be sweet.

She's not here to be your friend.

She's here...

["But mooo-ooooom! I want a PRINCESS CAKE!!"]

...for just desserts.

 

Thanks to Deirdre M., Anony M., Charesse, Tiffany Z., Emma P. (who found the candle in a vintage cake decorating manual), & Angela F. for the perfect princess-craze antidote.

*****

P.S. It's never too early to start decorating for spooky season, and these stick-on bats were my biggest hit last year:

3D Halloween Bats, Exterior Grade, 60 pc set

They're made of sturdy plastic, come in 4 different sizes, and have adhesive pads to easily stick them up anywhere in or outside your home. (I put a whole belfry of them on our front door.) (I don't know if "belfry" is right, but I'm going with it. :D) Even better, the whole 60 piece set is only $9 Prime!

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And from my other blog, Epbot: