3 Wedding Wrecks That Completely Missed The Mark

So many wedding wrecks happen when a bride asks for a fondant design made in buttercream - but what happens when it's the opposite, and they ask for a buttercream design made in fondant? LET'S FIND OUT.

Here's the buttercream design one bride ordered for her wedding:

She had a Fall theme, so her one stipulation: NO ROSES.

Which is kind of ironic, since the store-bought roses ended up being the best part!

Now if only the baker had purchased the whole cake from a store, am I right?

Oh! Hey! I just had a great idea:

1) Take orders

2) Give the orders to a real bakery

3) ???

4) PROFIT

Moving on....

You've got to love this gorgeous butterfly cake. GOT TO.

Adrianna M. certainly did, and ordered one just like it for her wedding - albeit with a few color changes.

o.0

Not sure which colors you asked for, Adrianna, but I'm seeing red.

And finally, Janice H. submitted her daughter's wedding cake with the plea, "Please! Stop laughing. IT STILL HURTS."

Yep, the wedding was just a few months ago, so let's try to be respectful of the lady's pain, ok, guys?

Ok. Here goes:

They ordered this style in purple, with gold ruffles:

So if you're wondering what the dirty spot near the bottom is, that's the "gold" part:

OUCH.

[biting lip]

[eye twitching]

I'm... I'm not laughing, Janice. I'm NOT.

I can't speak for the rest of these yahoos, though. Tch. SO RUDE.

Thanks to Patty S., Adrianna M., & Janice H. for the bridal tiers.

*****

P.S. Now that I've inflicted all that pain, here's something to make you feel better:

Shiatsu Shoulder Massager

Ever since I bought this shoulder massage 2 years ago everyone who's tried it has turned into a puddle of contented goo, and refused to move 'til it shut off. My Disney puppeteer friends are its biggest fans; people using and wrecking muscles most of us don't even know we have. I keep buying more of these as gifts!

This massager can actually bruise if you're not careful; it's got serious power for even rock-hard knots, and you can use it on your entire back. (I hold it diagonally to get below the shoulder blades, and around my waist for the lower back.) Highly recommend!

Spider-Man And Elsa Walk Into The Millennium Falcon...

Amber's twins were having a birthday, and just so we're clear, by "twins" I mean her actual children. Just covering all the bases for you long-term readers. (FLAAAAASHBAAAAACK.)

Anyhoo, since Amber is one of those awesome moms who doesn't make her kids share a cake, she ordered two. First, this Spider-Man design:

...which ended up looking surprisingly good!

Unless maybe you can read:

Why is "Spiders Man" there?
(Spiders Man says: "I'm not even supposed to be here today.")

I like how the baker combined the D and the A, though. Good space-saver.

Well, we can hope Amber's other cake came out OK, right?

Ohhh, hang on, she ordered which design?

ABANDON HOPE NOW.

::sigh::
Oh, look. Now the mountains are saggy balls with spooge on top.
::bigger sigh::
::that ends with head on keyboard::
::followed by a long moment of silence::

Of course, by now we've seen approximately three metric crap-tons of Frozen wrecks - so let's switch it up a bit and see how Vanessa fared with this new Star Wars design:

Vanessa asked the bakery to make a round version, which they said was no problem.

Uh... Wreckies?

WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

Note Vanessa's hand holding up the cake from behind.

The cherry on top was when the baker who handed her the cake said, "There wasn't any room for decorations," and plopped down a plastic bag with all the ships and stuff in it.

DROID PLEASE.

Thanks to Amber S. & Vanessa B. for wreckin' it by the book.

*****

P.S. Listen. I *know* these claim to be "pet toys," but hear me out:

Mandalorian & Grogu Plush Toys

These are so dang cute, I promise any Star Wars lovin' humans will want them, too.

Plus there's a Darth Vader set, with a Stormtrooper wearing bunny ears. Hit the link to see.