Blob Fish, Bun Fights, & Mime Craft, OH MY

We do rag on bakers quite a bit over here, so I say, every now and then, why not throw them a bone?

Apparently he's a communal NO I CAN'T SAY IT.

That is exactly what the customer asked for, btw, and let me tell you, Bridgett-the-baker was very happy to see this order form:

So thank you, friends of Dick, for making one baker's duty fun again.

Also I just giggled like a 10-year-old through that entire sentence.

Here's a multi-eyed blob fish saying "WOW":

Or maaaaybe a melting pink... purse?... saying MOM.

I say we stick with the blobfish.

Now it's time for The More You Know! 'Cuz I'm bringing that back, y'all.

Ahem hem hem.

"Bonne féte" is French for "happy birthday."

"Bun Fight" is... not.

Speaking of things I kinda sorta know but not really, remember Game Of Thrones?

Clearly this was made by a baker who knows as much as Jon Snow.

(Right? Does that joke work? Keep it together, Jen, no one can tell you didn't watch GoT. You got this. Just smile knowingly and quickly change the subjec...DANGIT I TYPED MY THOUGHTS OUT LOUD AGAIN.)

And finally, the silent game of workmanship that just keeps on giving:

MIME CRAFT.

Who knew they constructed their invisible boxes out of actual logs?

Thanks to Bridgett B., Anony M., Louise C., Melanie B., & Judi S. for finally finding an age-appropriate wreck for minors.

*****

P.S. Check out these handy things:

Headrest Hook 4 Pack

These clever headrest hooks turn the back of your car seats into extra storage! Perfect for purses, shopping bags, water bottles, umbrellas, etc - and even better, they're on sale this week for $7!

Passive Aggression is a Dish Best Served Iced

Passive aggression comes in many forms, but I prefer the subtle approach for added deniability. The message is still there, of course, but it's not so obvious as to get you immediately disowned.

"Here's a big dead tree to represent your general state of witheredness. 

"Oh, and..." [jazz hands] "Happy birthday."

If she asks, it's a crown. But we both know better.

"No, Mom, of COURSE that's not a hand giving you the finger. It's a crown. Because you are a ROYAL...delight."

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this engagement cake:

...except that the groom's name is Nathan.

Nathan: 0

Mother-in-Law: + 20

When the subtle approach isn't getting the job done, though, sometimes you have to step up your game. And then put it in quotes:

"Also, I got this off the week-old clearance rack. For free."

Vicky: "It's not even my birthday!"

 "We know; we just wanted to make extra sure you knew you were being excluded."

"No, seriously, we're reeeeally sorry about that. Now, can we get you some cake? Or a drink? Maybe some adult diapers?"

Sarah C. claims she only asked for Happy Birthday, and the baker overheard her saying the rest on the phone to someone else. Riiiiight. How'd that excuse fly with the birthday girl, Sarah?

Of course, when it comes to passive aggressive cakes, nothing can ever compare to the ones mom used to make.

Right, Jason?

Oops, looks like we just missed Jason - he's gone on a guilt trip. See ya when you get back, buddy! "Enjoy!"

Thanks to Anne M., Courtney B., Emily K., Greer D., Laura P., Jessica S., Jennifer B., Sarah C., & Sue F., who will always still love me. Right, guys?

Guys? ...Hello?

*****

P.S. Since this saved my butt during a long painting day recently, I have a random product recommendation:

No Buckle No-Show Stretch Belt

This is my new favorite belt, y'all. It basically turns anything with belt loops into an elastic waist. So comfy I forget it's on, slimline so it doesn't show under my t-shirts, and NO BELT BUCKLE to dig into my belly or unbuckle for bathroom breaks. Woohoo!

You know how stretch jeans are forever sliding down when you sit or bend, so you have to keep hitching them back up? No more! I wear this with all my jeans now. It's entirely elastic, so it moves and stretches with you, zero painful digging. I HIGHLY recommend for anyone well endowed with squish in the belly area.