10 Painfully Punny Wrecks For Dad's Day

Now, you guys KNOW I love puns, but around Father's Day bakers start cranking out a veritable plethora of pastry puns sure to make even the toughest dad cry, "What's THAT supposed to mean?"

It starts out cute:

"Reel great!" With a fish! Haha!

Then it gets awkward:

"Yep, mom's one lucky lady to land you, IF you know whadda... ok now I'm grossing myself out."

Then confusing/borderline insulting?

Not sure calling Dad "a hole" in ANY context is good.

But then it just gets desperate:

"Not to bee that guy, but this cake gives me hives."

"Because sometimes we take you for granite!"

[head tilt]

"Or for cow spots."

Moo-ving on...

Then there are all the missed opportunities. I mean, c'mon, bakers:

Why doesn't this say, "Let's get hammered!!" WHY?!

Fun Fact: Have you noticed puns make bakers - yes, all of them! - forget how to spell "you're?"

Now, can I borrow twenty bucks?

...by which I mean you are SUCH a drag.

Maybe if you spin around long enough it'll look like a top.

There are two ways this next pun could have worked. Thankfully, the baker missed both of them:

There are FOUR. DADS!

(You're welcome, TNG fans.)

And last but not least, my favorite bad pun of all:

If your mind immediately went to a disturbingly gory place with this cake, then congratulations. WE CAN BE FRIENDS.

Yep, not only would I buy this cake, I would pay extra for a few red gel splatters on the cake board.

(Uh, because I get my warped sense of humor from my dad, not because I want to saw him up. Honest. HI, DAD.)

Thanks to Aneela Q., Christopher W., Nicole J., Elisabeth K., Ashley B., Jen W., Brooke D., Megan Z., Elena E., Tracy M., & Cindy K. for sawing what I did there.

*****

P.S. In case this post wasn't glorious enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

And good news, there's a Volume 2!

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes, Vol II

This one has the word "spiffing" in the title AND comes with a lovely green-and-gold cover, so folks will recognize your sophisticated taste while begging you to stop telling these terrible, TERRIBLE jokes.

Sunday Sweets: More Star Wars!

When it comes to Star Wars, you just can't get any more classic than this kickin' Millenium Falcon cake:

(By The Butter End Cakery)

"She may not look like cake, but she's got icing where it counts."

Or how about Luke's (edible!) X-wing crash-landed on a cakey Dagobah, complete with dry-ice smoke effects?

(By Luscious Layers Bakery)

WOW.

Of course you can't have Dagobah without everyone's favorite pint-sized Jedi Master:

(By Flickr user Cindy)

Yoda!

I admit it: I'm still a sucker for Ewoks.

(Also by The Butter End Cakery)

Now who's eating who, huh?

Although I find most fans these days prefer a certain bounty hunter:

(By Ron Ben-Israel Cakes)

He's no good to me stale.

Let's all give a hearty "UTINI!" for this incredible Jawa:

(By Petitfour)

And I'm sorry; I couldn't resist:

(By Mike's Amazing Cakes)

Hee!

Can't decide on a single bad guy for your cake?

Why not combine three of 'em, like this?

(By Nichi Cakes)

Super cool.

On the other hand, does it get any cuter than R2-D2 in a bow tie?

(By Gateaux Inc.)

I think not. 

Ahh, but I'm afraid R2 has some SERIOUS new competition in the "adorable droid" category.

That's right, roll on out here, BB8!

(By Cake Rush)

SQUEEE!

Can't wait to see this little guy in action in the new movie.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

*****

P.S. In case you need MORE cute droids, and on your earlobes: