ARRRRGH

"So, Kristen, sweetie, how was school?"

"Fine."

"Anything fun happen?"

"No."

"Are you looking forward to your party this weekend?"

"I guess."

"Aw, c'mon, it's your sixteenth birthday! This is a big deal! How about I order you a nice frilly pink cake with lots of ribbons and bows and puppies on it? Huh? Would you like that?"

"MOTHER."

"What?"

"NO."

"Well, what kind of cake do you WANT me to order, then? Just tell me!"

"Something to communicate the utter futility of modern existence."

"...."

"And NO BOWS."

"Er... So you want like a skull and crossbones or something?"

"Just the skull."

"Right. Er...ok! Great! We'll just work in a fun pirate theme!"

"Whatever."

Many thanks to mom Karen G., who was told a "full-size, realistic skull" would be no problem, and got this instead. Though to be fair, I'm sure Kristen appreciated all the pink.

Did You See That Ludicrous Display Last Night? (Copy)

Football cake submissions are up again, which I assume means it's football season.

These accurately reflect my feelings on this matter.

In fact, bakers seem to share my general ambivalence toward sports, and have provided us with all KINDS of unenthusiastic football treats to choose from.

I swear this one's being sarcastic.

While this one...

"I'm a little bit scared, and I want to leave."

Speaking of scared, does it mean anything if one of these is coming out of a gingerbread man's crotch?

Asking for a friend.

I don't know what happened here, but I'm pretty sure it was just an excuse to draw boobs:

Tell you what, non-fans, maybe we should practice being more enthusiastic.

"Hooray, he's kicked the ball!

"Now the ball's over there!

"That man has it now."

"That's an interesting development!

"Maybe he'll kick the ball.

"He has indeed, and apparently that deserves a round of applause!"

Huh.

On second thought, non-fans, just bring the cake.

Thanks to Wendy W., Dafna S., T.K., Audra B., Graeme, Carrie A., & Julia T. for footing the bill AND the ball. Which probably makes no sense, but I'm really trying here, promise.

*****

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