A Warm Welcome

There are so many ways you can welcome someone home.

You could do it "sincerely:"

You could do it musically:

You could add an extremely specific qualifier:

You could also rant about the bakery's poor spelling skills...

(Isn't it ironic? Don'cha think?)

...times "sevan":

Or - my personal favorite - you could leave a note on the counter for the travelers to find around 11pm after spending 9+ hours driving through tornado warnings and stopped holiday traffic and harrowing accident-filled highways on the way home from Dragon*Con. That way, they can stagger through the door, drop their many bags, and gaze with wonder and appreciation at your thoughtful missive:

So sleep tight, y'hear?

Thanks to Loretta, Tess S., Val D., Gini M., Lisa P., Courtney S., and to John's mother, Mum, without whom this post would not have been possible, since I might have been sleeping tonight instead of writing it. Must. Stay. Awake. [twitch] WHAT WAS THAT? DID YOU HEAR THAT? DID SOMETHING JUST BUZZ?!

Listen! Do You Smell That?

Yesterday I read an article about "swallowable perfume," a new form of perfume that comes in capsules. That you swallow. Ergo, "swallowable perfume."

Look, I couldn't make this stuff up, guys.

Anyway, it got me to thinking: how long before this is incorporated into food? You know, like cake? And what would an ingestible perfume cake look like, anyway? Would decorators try to reflect the scent in the cake's design?

These are all important questions, which I think deserve answers. You know, for science. And laughs. But mostly science.

So, as a public service, here are a few suggestions for some classic perfume scents:

Obsession

This would have to be a

revamped

formula, of course, with top notes of blood, wet dog, and a little patchouli.

Poison

Lucky for me, I've developed an immunity to iocane powder.

I'm sure you've heard of Chanel #5, but here's one for its lesser-known predecessor, Chanel #2:

Q: Why did Tigger have his head in the river?

A: He was looking for Pooh! Because Poo smells grrrrreat!

White Shoulders

I bet you never realized how weird that perfume name was until right now.

Contradiction

Something here doesn't add up.

Miracle

Even the balloons are defying the laws of gravity!

Lucky You

Say, here's a tip:

***

***

Ah. Never mind; false alarm.

Thanks to Sarah P., Crazy Z., Michelle S., Caren, Celeste G., Amy C., & Colleen W. Smell you later, guys!