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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov112008

Monkey See, Monkey Doo-Doo

What is it with monkey cupcake cakes? Bad enough that it's a cupcake cake, but then to try and make a monkey out of it? (Heh: "make a monkey out of it". I guess that's not so hard, eh? Eh?) Asking for a cute monkey CCC seems destined to failure, if you ask me.

Case in point: here's what reader Alexis P. wanted for her son Caden's 1st birthday:


Which is sort of cute, but not really; the swirl cupcakes make it look like Mr. Monkey has see-through arms and legs. That isn't the Wreck, though...

This is:


Yikes.

I can't decide if this is a monkey at a stick-up who just soiled himself (an unfortunate effect of not outlining the "tail"), or if he's another steamroller victim. Or, given that expression, I suppose he could be on some Amazon torture rack - I mean, those arms and legs are rather long...

But wait! There's more!

Aren't you curious what the birthday boy thought of his cake? Because fortunately for us Alexis captured little Caden's reaction for posterity:

Ah, I can almost hear the little shrieks of terror from here. Kinda reminds me of my own family gatherings...

Think of it this way, Alexis: without experiences like this, what will Caden talk about later in therapy? Oh, and Caden, there's always our young Wreckporter's intern program for next year.

NOTE: I've been getting some complaints about the proliferation of CCCs here on Cake Wrecks - which is kind of like complaining about all the sick people in hospitals, if you think about it. Still, I'll do my best to space them out between "real" cakes for y'all. Remember, though: if we let these silent menaces go unmentioned, bakeries might start thinking they're acceptable! We can't have that, now can we?

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Reader Comments (104)

You know, I looked just like the second monkey one fateful night after dinner at our local Chinese buffet...

Also...his feet are on backwards.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

It's like an angry, angry gremlin...

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterad

Thanks to the awkward positioning of the tail, see-through arms and legs are not the only thing it makes it appear that Mr. Monkey has. I'm trying to remain kid friendly here, but the top cake is getting awfully close to balloon cake and firehose cake territory.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

That's scary! Poor kid!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

Oh. Dear. God.

I was about to chastise you ,Jen, for picking on the top monkey, when I realized that was supposed to be the template.

I think we all agree that the CCC concept is a travesty to cakedom, but why are they typically so pooly done? The second monkey is horrid. And that TAIL! Kind of puts all into perspective right there. Case closed.

Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blosgspot.com

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

OMG that monkey wreck is really wrecked! although that "tail" could possibly be mistaken for something else....LOL
I can't stand CCC's and I refuse to take an order for one in our bakery, no matter how many people want one! They are a pain to make, and I'm sure they are a mess to serve. Keep the wrecks coming...CCC's or not.. I love this blog!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScraplin

I like seeing the CCC. Customers want these cakes. Most of our decorators hate making them.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKathy Skomer

No I think it's definitely a steamroller victim. That's one flat and dead looking monkey right there.

It also looks a bit like me by the time Friday rolls around and I haven't yet had my weekend beer.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

When I first saw the post, I thought you were going to comment on the unfortunate placement of the "tail" on Monkey Cake #1. I don't know what you've done to me because it seems I now see genitalia on ALL cakes. Really...I used to be a very nice lady.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLori

It's so ANGRY! Find a happy place!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

a wreck's a wreck. REPORT IT ALL! who cares if it's CCC's. it's a wreck! that's all that matters :)

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPiper

WOW. That poor little boy.

I will say though, they are similar. They're both brown. Right?

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

I think he looks like he's rather upset at having crapped himself not just the lack of tail outline; but because if you look at the orginal template cake, his tail is actual cupcakes, if you look at the super wreck it's really just blobs of brown icing...which leads very easily to the above mention effect.

Which means the decorator extra cheaped out. Bravo!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPuck

I'm laughing so hard!!! I thought the first one was the wreck... then I scrolled! Number one is the colon.. and number two is... well.... number 2!!!!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfluffy cow

It always amazes me that people have the audacity to complain about the content in YOUR blog! If they don't want to see the CCC, they can always go elsewhere or start their own blog where they can control the content. Sheesh already, people, it's HER blog!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGoblue562

I agree...cupcake cakes are wrecky, but more tragic wrecky than funny wrecky. I need my daily dose of misspellings, misunderstandings and unintentional inuendos!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That face... I'd scream and cry too! Jeezopete.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJanice in GA

Don't be offended, I am a grammar stickler. It should say "effect" not "affect" in your post.

Love your site.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWomen on the Verge

Lori,

My evil plan to turn you all into gutter-minded deviants is working! Mwu-ha-ha-haaaa!!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I smiled when I saw the first one. I saw the little tuft of chest hair and the toes and thought "how cute!".

I scrolled down and...*blink blink*. I actually gasped.

O my.

It also looks, aside from looking like "an angry, angry gremlin", like a squashed, four legged spider.

Gag inducing yet so, so funny!

I want a cake wreck to happen to me! Except not on my wedding day!

--Brianna @ Passion.Fruit

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

I'm not sure why the flat monkey has human-like hands and cat-like feet...

And I enjoy all your wrecks! It's your blog - post what YOU want.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHada

Thank goodness I ate breakfast already!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMari

i pulled up your page and was starting to wonder what was so wrong with the first monkey...and then i scrolled down. All I can say is: Poor Caden :(

word verification: cylighea

The poor monkey was born with a bad case of cylighea.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter*James*

think the first one is bad as well. that 'tail' looks like his privates. both are unfortunate. the second one looks like a wookie.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm new here and I have no clue what a CCC cake. Anyone care to enlighten me? Thanks!!

Oh and the monkey is really creeping me out.....

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Ew! That monkey has chest hair. Also, that "tail" could be confused for all sorts of things.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

He's young, he'll get over it. So many more horrific cake wrecks to come in all our lives! Yippee!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHelen Highwater

Holy monkeys! To me they kind of look like they are pinned down on a science table, and that is what freaks me out about them!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky B

Who keeps complaining about the ccc's? If you don't like reading about them, then don't read this blog. Personally, I LOVE reading about all the cake wrecks no matter which kind. I don't think I've laughed as hard as I have reading about them, my husband too! Please, keep up the GREAT wrecks!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBodell Family

I love seeing CCC wrecks, keep 'em coming.. And I would agree, these monkeys look a bit too anatomically correct for my taste..

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteralisaz

The good news is that Caden won't remember this cake. Except perhaps in his deepest, darkest nightmares.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRedd

That second monkey looks like something I'd pull off.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

Wait, she ordered a CCC? what did she expect would happen? the line between happy and nightmarishly scary is apparently pretty slim when it comes to monkeys.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

Wow - i can't believe some people would complain about the content on YOUR blog...

Let them make their own blog if they want it done their way. Exactly - they won't...

It is like complaining about how your husband does dishes... or the laundry... if you don't like it - do it yourself.

Thank you for ALL of your wrecks. I enjoy each & everyone of them - they brighten my day (& cause me to stare into the bakery cases at the grocery stores).

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSara Lou

Oh poor Caden! I feel bad for him just by looking at his picture. Alexis, I hope you took that picture to the bakery and showed them his reaction, so they'd feel bad!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

You must continue with exposing the CCCs. I can't word it any better than Edmund Burke (although he possibly wasn't talking about CCCs):
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing"

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Caked Crusader

Keep posting them all!!! I love this site. A wreck is a wreck and ALL should be shown to the world.
Your site brings me loads of laughs every day. Keep up the great work!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Yeah, Jen. You succeeded. My first thought at the first cake was the fire hose. Ironic considering most people see me as so innocent. If they only knew what you've done to me. :-P LOL!

Poor kid! What a crappy first birthday cake!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan B.

At least these cupcakes appear to be individually iced.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

I have to admit that when I scrolled down to see the second monkey it actually scared me... I though what the HE** is that thing.. I crossed my eyes then squinted and I saw it... I saw the monkey it should have been... No wonder that poor little guy is crying... If my Mom made that cake for the whole world to see I would be crying too... I wonder how it tasted...was it good or did it taste like the crap coming out from it's bum!!

BTW... I personally like some CCC's. They are great for a crowd of teenagers at a ball game... take one and run... no plates, not fork... just napkins for serving!! Took me a few minutes to figure out what the CCC stood for... I HATE ACRONYMNS!!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

Oh dear...I woke up this morning with a sore throat and a cold, thought to check what was new on Cake Wrecks to cheer me up...and it only got worse.

Why oh Why do decorators say "Sure, I can duplicate that", when they can't?

I think I'm still recuperating from Sandra Lee's mess yesterday.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Omg.
Monkey Autopsy! Arms/legs spread eagle, and apparently a mess made on the table there, too. All we need is the Y incision.
No wonder the poor kid's screaming. I'd scream too if someone served me a dead monkey cake.

The top cake, while better made, looks VERY happy to see everyone.:o)
~Amy B.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I just noticed something that may have contributed to the wreck...I counted 36 cupcakes on the first one, but only 24 on the wreck?

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

hahhaha...sick people in hospitals!??! hilarious!

Please don't let any reader dissuade you posting reality in a timely matter (ie. don't space out the CCC reality)...if the people make CCC then let's see the CCC wrecks.

No need to withhold the goodness from the rest of us, simply because some readers complained about the direction the world is going.

Seriously, I love everything you post because of your commentary. Your commentary takes it from 'oh, that's weird.' to AHAHAHAHAHAHA, that's incredibly freakin' hilarious!

thanx...I love clicking on your posts in my google reader.

PS-ex. 'I can't decide if this is a monkey at a stick-up who just soiled himself (an unfortunate affect of not outlining the "tail"), or if he's another steamroller victim. Or, given that expression, I suppose he could be on some Amazon torture rack - I mean, those arms and legs are rather long...'
SO worth my time!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGreenEggsandSam

People who are complaning need to just stop reading your blog! :) Those monkey CCC are just bad in general, and CCC are bad, get the word out!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDanica

Wow. That second one really scares me.
And I have a question - isn't this YOUR blog? Can't you write about those darn CCC things as much as you want on YOUR blog? I can't stand for people to complain about something they have no right to complain about. Geez.
Ok, I'm better.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

in my opinion, BOTH of those monkeys look like they are... well... "pinching a loaf."

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertony a.k.a. isweatbutter

OH MYYYYYYYYYYY Poor caden ... Monkey DOO DOO LMAO have mercy ... KEEP THE CCC's comeing maybe people will learn!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura ~Peach~

Hello
a small mark at the time of my passage on your very beautiful blog!
congratulations!
thanks for making us share your moments
you have a translation of my English space!
cordially from France
¸..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* ~ Chris ~ -:¦:-
http://SweetMelody.bloguez.com

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercoupdecoeur

I do believe that YIKES is all I can manage on this one...I'm not a huge fan of the first one, but I'd surely be content with it if the 2nd CCC was my only other option...how horrid!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDoodleBunz

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