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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov132008

Face Time On CW

This is so exciting, everyone: I had no idea there were Doctor Who fans in the Walmart bakery! Check this out:


How cool is that, huh? It's totally Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen!

[crickets chirping]

What?

[Pin dropping. Loudly.]

What's with all the blank looks? Are you guys telling me you don't know who Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen is? Really?

Oh.

Well, here, she looks like this:

See, she's a human from the future, and she's had so much plastic surgery that there's nothing left but her face. Get it? (Really, I don't see how you guys survive without this kind of quality programming in your lives.)

Ok, now go look at that "cake" again, and tell me it's not her. Go on.

Hm? Oh. Yeah, I guess you do have a point: she doesn't have eyebrows. Or a nose. Or weird purply hair tufts. Or antennae. But if that's not supposed to be Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen, then I'm going to go out on a limb here and say maybe the Walmart in question should consider employee drug screening. Not that I'm implying anything by that, of course - nosirree.

Thomas R., you thought it was her, too - right?

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Reader Comments (237)

OMG You watch WHO!!!!!! LOL... Yes, it does look rather like Cassandra, though I admit I liked her best in Rose's body, fondling the Doctor. *grin*

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAllyson

my first thought was it was some "cool," art-deco lookin' lady. yikes. it is pretty bad.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

I would like her better if she had a beard. Awesome wreck!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

I see it! I saw it as soon as you mentioned Doctor Who! There need to be more Doctor Who cakes in the world.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAsteria

and here I thought It was more like the Face of Bo.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The bitchy trampoline! "Moisturize me..."

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterevansparks

Why does this "cake" exist? Who would buy it, unless they wanted to scare some poor, sad toddler somewhere. This is a real shame... but at least it's funny for me, if not a bit disturbing.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterArlynn

Ooooooooh! I thought it was a Frida Kahlo self portrait - naturally done in cupcakes. So art nouveau (I guess that would be arto nuevo in Spanish?).

On second thought, it really looks like the man in the moon went all tranny on us. Whatever. Gorgeous piece of cake wreckery.

Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blogspot.com.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

Did I just fall in love with Cake Wrecks all over again? I think I did!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Can I get the cake cheaper if I ask them to make me one with the unruly eyebrows and the peeps-esque sunglasses?

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJami

The lips make me very afraid. Also, is that purple smoodge at the top supposed to be hair or a ribbon? Are the two pair of cupcakes on either side of her head supposed to be detachable flying ears, ponytails, or antennae? The eyes make me very afraid.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOphelia

That cake is just screaming "Moistuerize Me!"

I think the cake is scarier than she was.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Sigh, I've given up trying to tell the others about the awesomeness that is Doctor Who...

And those tufts on the side of the CCC are obviously pigtails - how could you be so blind? :)

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlexandra

Is that ears or hair coming our from her head??

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersearching_for_something

Both of these images are extremely disturbing. However, the cake is real - so that gets on more point on my scariness scale.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarissa

Cassandra was my first thought when I saw this cake.

"Ewww," was my second. "Someone's going to eat her face."

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjj

OMG, that is *totally* Lady Cassandra! I don't know which is better -- this CW or the scary Daleks that you posted a while back.

Allons-y!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

I thought it was maybe a sheep?

Nan

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think maybe I'm scarred for life.

I've seen her on Doctor Who. I simply can't imagine eating a cake image especially because I would imagine it tastes like rubbery skin.

Ugh!

Thanks. No really. Thanks.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

i think what's more concerning is that they expect someone to pay $20 for that sad sad ccc.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ok i totally see it! and eww. eww.


eww.


shudder


ewww.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPiper

Someone needs to take the drugs away from the steamroller drivers that have plagued Cake Wrecks this past week, because CLEARLY what we have here is Princess Leia, post steamroller encounter. See, her little buns have been flattened into pigtails. Maybe.
*scratches her head*
No I'm lost on this one too...

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Too funny! My mind immediately went to Dr. Who before I even started reading! If it is not her, than who/what is it?

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTeryG

I'm pretty sure the purple hair thingys are actually sunglasses. Not that that makes it any better.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterteacher lady

It IS her!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commentert

Oh Cu-ree-py.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZitny Clan

I... I think the hair tufts are supposed to be sunglasses. That's... interesting.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOmm

Hey, I love that show! And I absolutely knew who you were talking about. The resemblance makes the thought of eating that CCC rather nausea-inducing. Is there any way to think of her and not get a nasty mental picture of the part where she dries out and explodes? Bleh.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

That is quite possibly the vaguest cake I have ever seen. It's a..... nope, I got nothing.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Oo, a Doctor Who reference! That just made my day! :)

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMoomoo

I'm just glad my geek wasn't the only one showing. I saw 'Doctor Who' and jumped immediately to Lady Cassandra. If only it hadn't been a CCC, and they had included a little brain-shaped cupcake underneath, this could have gone from wreck to pretty awesome! But, alas, drug-induced wreck it seems to be...

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

You had me at "Doctor Who fans".

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

O. god.

There are no words.

Speaking as a person who draws people for a living -- I dunno... I looked at it again and just got sad.

You sadden me pasty CCC lady with the stringy eyebrows.

Brianna McCarthy @ Passion.Fruit
http://briannamccarthy.blogspot.com

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

Oh my Lord, I immediately knew who you were talking about JUST from the Doctor Who mention.

Doctor Who cakes (not just Daleks) would be a WONDERFUL opportunity for some MONSTROUS wrecks. Literally and figuratively.

Love the site. Love you. And love Doctor Who.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMicroFiber Militia

OH! And when they take the CCC apart it'll look like her when she gets all dry, cracks and dies!

MOISTURIZE ME!!!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMicroFiber Militia

LOL!!! I knew what you were talking about right way!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNosnin

Oh my! That is hilarious! Surely no one would buy that?!?!?

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina

You know what, you're right! I didn't need the explanation, but then I'm lucky enough to be a Brit, and therefore fully versed in all things Who!
Thanks for this blog, I love my daily dose of Wreckiness!
Emily

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteremily

Moisturize me!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You'll be glad to know that I immediately knew who you were talking about. And yes! people do need more quality programming in their life.

Are those floating cupcakes supposed to be anntenae?

I have no idea what this CCC is supposed to be if its not Cassandra, even if its not a good Cassandra.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMintychip

I totally knew who that was!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnita

That is so very, very odd. But I know a few people who would really dig that cake.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

I knew exactly who you were talking about!

*retreats back to her Anglophile geek corner*

I knew who it was!!! It also reminded me of the Face of Bo.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

It IS her! But those are purple hair tufts, they're glam purple sunglasses, which are totally appropriate.

Her scope for accessories having become necessarily limited.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterQuiteLight

Once again Jen, your humor surpasses even the wreckiest of wrecks. We've seen Daleks, we now have Lady Cassandra, what's next? I'm hoping for a CCC of a Zygon, that would be truly wreck-tastic! Thanks again!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAli

I didn't read the text before I looked at the cake and I was TWO SECONDS from calling my fiance and going, "You have to see this wreck! It looks like Cassandra!" and then I read your text and went, "...oh. That's the point."

That said, if the decorator was going for the oldest living human at the end of the earth, he/she did a REALLY good job.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCWM

One Wal-Mart clearance rack coming up! Ewwww.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJim and Garret

I was hoping the label on the box would give some insight as to what we are looking at... alas, no. It just says "Chocolate cupcake cake with buttercream frosting".

I've never seen Dr. Who, but I think the mere thought of Cassandra will give me nightmares for YEARS.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwebbith

I would buy this wreck if I was having a doctor who house party.

BTW I was laughing at the reference to the doctor before you got to the Cassandra part.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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