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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Aug152008

Gosh, Kermit, I Think I'd Get That Looked At...


The store selling these cakes (oh yes, there are more!) claims that they are watermelons.

Riiiight.

As you can see from this other example, the "slice" appears to have drifted southward over time, resulting in the truly unfortunate and rather alarming spectacle you see here. In fact, this guy could be the new spokesman for certain "personal care" items, don't you think? Can't you just see him bouncing across your television screen, his squeaky voice telling you to "ask your doctor if HerpAway is right for you!"?

Thanks to Bahktin for the pic, originally posted here.

« "Cake" Cruelty | Main | This Calls for a Celebration! »

Reader Comments (117)

Hey Jen,

I have a really ugly cake from our rehersal dinner. How do i send it to you?
Caity
Caitybug22@hotmail.com

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCaitybug22

haha, the red part is supposed to be the guts?

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterana

That is just plain wrong. Sick. Perverted. Absolutely hilarious. Kermi had a sex change and is officially 'OUT'!!!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMag's Nags

If I was that frog, I'd get those black bumpy spots looked at!

Hallie

Hi, Just wanted you to know that I thoroughly enjoyed this blog. My SIL hooked my up with it. I used to be a cake decorator, so I can appreciated this whole site. It's amazing what some people and some decorators can do (or not do) to a cake. Thanks for sharing.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

I'm speechless...

Tracy

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNosnin

OMG, I think I must now always start my day with a cake wreck! You brighten my day with the social commentary and the pics, OMG, I just keep laughing so hard, I cry. Wonder if I could get that printed on a cake.

I have to also admit, I've NEVER EVER had these experiences with cakes. What I've ordered has always come out correctly. So seeing these things, well, it just becomes that much more funny!!

Thank you for making my day!!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Union Girl

ah, Jen...you make me laugh. That picture makes me itchy.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTheCourteousChihuahua

The cake itself looks kind of worried.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermerlin

AHAHAHAHA.

Win.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

I was looking up information on watermelons and I read that the "flesh consists of highly developed placental tissue within the fruit."
Between that quote and that picture, I'm never eating watermelon again.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

LOL!! I could probably get that it's a watermelon if it didn't have, you know, great bulging eyes or arms and legs ;p

Like that, it just looks like a very unfortunate female critter that really needs to visit her gynecologist!!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterV. Nicharico

oh dear Kermit has Herpes!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLady J

Ewwww... that's so horrid! They need to fire that cakemaker. First of all, why does the watermelon have eyes and arms? It's clearly a vagina when you add body parts!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Once again, your blog has made me laugh until I cried. Thank you for making me smile first thing this morning!

Gayle
http://www.gayletrent.com

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGayle

Okay, before reading about the pic, I tried to decide if it was a very bad Kermit or if it was an OLIVE! Watermelon?? NEVER! Happy Friday and cheers! ~holds up coffee~

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy D

Besides laughing at their idea of how you cut watermelons, I find it wholly disturbing that they thought it was a good idea to make the watermelon a "person." I mean, it's one thing to eat a cake that looks like a My Little Pony (one of my first birthday cakes growing up) but it's something else to have a watermelon-man frosted so that it looks he's committing seppuku.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNipponElla

um yeah. and what exactly is that supposed to be?!?! and who would buy it?!? it looks like a really bad groom's cake!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermommy skonovd

I am not sure of the last time I saw a watermellon with eyes?? Thanks for the laughs keep them comming:)

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

And I just THOUGHT the feet cakes
were disgusting.

Who would do that to an innocent cake?

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know, it wouldn't be that bad if it ditched the limbs and the eyes.

But with them...

....ew. I'd buy one just for the hilarity, but it would be 'fun' trying to force myself to eat it.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterObsidian Dragon

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I'd still rather eat this one than the faeces-and-flies cake, but ...

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm not sure this will get approved but all I can think is "vagina"! Especially the one in the link.

My goodness this is indeed a wreck.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthat girl down south

ok - having just spent that last 20 minutes digging through this new gem that is your blog...
Oh my god...
SERIOUSLY?

that's too much - the second cake looked like an evil alien va-jay-jay.

eesh!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaggi-nifica

O M G

Horrific! I'm with Amy, it looks like an olive to me. But no matter what it is, it's wrong, wrong, a thousand times wrong.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie Alender

Oh dear!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Uh....!!

I have a picture of our Super Bowl cake from years ago....we said to write Pittsburgh "Steelers" and when we went to pick it up it said, "STEALERS!" We took it home like that....would you like a picture?

Nevermind the fact that if someone was feeling in a watermelon state of mind that they could...eat. a. watermelon.

Isn't a watermelon cake a little bizarre? Unless of course you own a watermelon farm, have just been crowned the county watermelon princess queen, or some such.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermom

Hmmm...Poor Kermit!!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterManders

If they claim this is a watermelon....why add legs and eyes...OMG, It would have been much better without..lol!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTristan

Why do I feel like they couldn't make up their mind about the cake? Were they going for a frog or were they going for a watermelon? These are two things that SHOULD NOT be mixed.
Watermelons should never have eyes and hands, especially if you are going to cut them open.
My next question...people actually buy these cakes?

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWhat's Her Face

if its suppose to be a watermelo, then why the arms and legs??? Wierd!

Love your blog these cakes are hilarious

Jenna
http://newlyweds.wordpress.com/

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

i have to order a cake in a few weeks, and part of me hopes it turns out awful so i can submit it to you! :) But since it's for a child's baptism, I hope it is just what i order.

Thank you for making me laugh each day!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

I am wondering:
1. Have they actually sold any of these cakes?!

and

2. Exactly what occasion are these cakes appropriate for? I am afraid to ask!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwhywouldyouknitthat

In a very sick way, it is kinda cute :s

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJorge PatiƱo

Since when do watermelons have eyes? Or vaginas for that matter?

I think those spots need medical attention STAT.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMagatha

Awesome, I know what to bring to the next office pot luck!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJengersnap

You just keep topping the gross factor! My gosh, WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING!!!!!!!!!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

This is so wrong. So very, very wrong. A watermelon? Please. That is a sick and perverted frog!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTanya

Honestly, I dont know which picture was worse..1 or 2? 1 looked like a whole body shot and the 2nd one looked like a closeup!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteryayadesigns

WOW, I can't stop laughing, that is sooo bad. Not to mention ewww who would want to eat that. And no it oes NOT look like a watermelon. Yuck....
Amy

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Ellen

Ok, even if it is supposed to look like a watermelon, I don't see why it has to have arms, legs, and buggy eyeballs put on it. What kind of freaky watermelons did they eat at THAT GUY'S house growing up???

My watermelons were appendageless, couldn't look at me, and didn't have gaping wounds that kinda of deter one from wanting to eat them.

People are so freaking WEIRD!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFaith

Oh. God.

Can't. Breathe.

Must. Stop. Laughing. (That cake in the link is pretty horrifying too, but this one really... er... takes the cake.)

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSunny Lea

*tilts head to the side* why would a watermelon need arms legs and eyes? Thats disturbing in of itself.

That is one creepy design.

~Kia

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKierra

Words fail me, I'm laughing too hard. If I were a kid, I would be afraid of that cake. If I were a 14 year old boy ---- I shudder to think... You've outdone yourself and THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

heck, put this one together with yesterday's "no sexual harassment" cake and you've got yourself a party! an awkward, awkward, party.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteremotionalsquid

That is wrong on so many levels.

And the other example pic with the higher location of the *ahem* bits - is even naughtier - like some cartoon vulva for a health class....

Do some people just not look at the anatomies of humans??? Are they that clueless as to what "it" looks like "down there"???

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

Maybe it might have been more believable if they'd made the dark green and light green lines that are on watermelon. And if they'd neglected to give it arms, legs, and googly eyes. And if they'd made the "cut" bit a bit sharper instead of a jagged gash.... Maybe...?

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterClaudia

I thought at first that this was just the first step toward bringing together the horrible pregnant cakes with the baby butt cakes :-)

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrent

I agree with Amy_D. Before trying to read what it was SUPPOSED to be, I wanted to figure out what it is. I thought it was an olive as well. I never figured it for a watermellon. OMG! I love it.

I've been sharing this site with co-workers. It is providing us a good laugh each day. keep it up.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

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