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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Sep182008

Wrecks Takes a Field Trip

Today, class, we're going to see an example of how other sugary foods can become Wrecks.

Here we have what looks at first glance to be a perfectly normal hamburger:


But check out the description sent to me by the "architectural foodsmiths" over at Bompas & Parr:

"The burger, known as the Monnow Valley Burger, is comprised of a hamburger patty with two slices of melted cheese, tomatoes, secret sauce and onions sandwiched inside a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed donut and garnished with a slice of gherkin. The Monnow Valley Burger contains up to 1000 calories and 45 grams of fat."

Daaaang.

This is nuts! I mean, c'mon, "architectural foodsmiths"? They stick a Whopper in a Krispy Kreme, and they get to call themselves "architectural foodsmiths"? Really?

I guess in their defense, they also created this snazzy little number:

That's pork and tomatoes under that sugary-sprinkled donut shell, my friends. Awww yeeeah.

Now that I've whet your appetites, I'm sure you're demanding to know just where you can procure one of these culinary delights. Well, if you live across the pond you're in luck: they debut this Saturday, September 20th, at the Abergavenny Food Festival in Britain.

And here's the kicker: Bompas & Parr are billing the Monnow Valley Drive-Thru where the burgers are served as "the ultimate American eating and entertainment experience". So going by their press release, the "ultimate American experience" equals hotdog-eating-contests, theater performances in which the actors are dressed as "a flock of burgers", screenings of the movie Pulp Fiction, and of course thousand-calorie-donut-burgers.

Wow. So much to be offended by, so little time.

Actually, I'm kind of torn: this could in fact be brilliant satire, considering our American love-affair with gut-busting fast food and general idiocy. I mean, the show "Flavor of Love" alone should by all rights get us kicked back into the Stone Age, so if donut-burgers and hotdog-eating-contests are the Brits' way of poking fun, huzzah and well played. If, on the other hand, they honestly think Pulp Fiction and prancing flocks of burgers epitomizes US culture, then let me be the first to remind Bompas & Parr that we Americans may be fat, and have questionable taste in entertainment, but we can occasionally tell when we're being insulted. And furthermore, we don't like it very much. (Being insulted, I mean; not the other stuff.)

So there.

Many thanks to Bompas & Parr for the photos and info. Guys, I don't know if I should shake your hands or slap your faces. Maybe you should send me some of those donut burgers so I can make an informed decision.

And as for the rest of you: field trip over! We continue with our regularly scheduled Cake Wrecks tomorrow.

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Reader Comments (169)

It's the Luther Burger!!!!!

I saw this burger on an Episode of the Boondocks, when Grandpa opens a soulfood restaurant. They also had a version of it (I think w/o donuts) on The Simpsons called a "Good Morning Burger."


BUt come on, is it really that different from McGriddles (which are pretty tasty.....)

September 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMauri

Oh please, my friend had the market on the doughnut bacon sandwich *way* before these people! Proof: http://flickr.com/photos/techgirl/1562946576/

September 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercinnarose

I'd like to point out, in light of a hamburger and krispy kreme union such as these... unique confections, a Jim Gaffigan skit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSeN4ZogP3o&feature=related

after thirty seconds it should make sense. ^_^

I LOVE YOUR BLOG. <3333 I used to work at a 31 flavors and had a small taste of cake decorating, so this is a load of fun for me. ^_^

thanks for posting!

October 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commentershichan

LOL!! That's not a hamburger..THIS is a hambuger cupcake
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lecupcake/2869308129/
Another Flickr find.....

October 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Architectural foodsmith? Good lord, I feel sorry for people who actually go through training to have anything to do with the architecture industry, only to be lumped with the kind of people who promote heart-disease for a quick dollar. Now where's my Krispy Kreme!?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDominique

My stomach is rolling... I can't get this expression off my face, either - it's the sort of expression that maggots typically provoke in people. Oh, my stomach... What an appetite killer those abominations are to me...

October 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterYénifer

This is the sort of thing that makes me ashamed to be British. Ok, not quite, but you get my point. Perhaps I should just say that I'm English and point out that Abergavenny is in Wales. Abergavenny is also a small, depressed ex-mining town so we may have to forgive them for their culinary sins.

But anyway, British food is actually quite nice, contrary to popular belief. It's only because we had rationing in WWII and when the American GIs came they didn't much like the food that we had to make do with. But food HAS moved on since then! There's an American girl in my year who moved here 8 weeks ago. Whilst we're still trying to convince her about Twiglets, she is actually coping lol.

However, there are still pockets of utter terribleness. Like the time I went to Coalford, an incredibly depressing ex-mining town. I went into a coffee shop and asked for a piece of cake, which turned out to be stale (yum, yum), so I went to the bakery. When I asked for a sticky bun, it turned out to be a bread roll filled with squirty cream and half a glace cherry. *head desk*

Just for reference, the British invented Korma curry in Birmingham, which is now regularly served up in India (I've seen it with my own eyes).

Has anyone here had proper Christmas Pudding with cream? That's REALLY nice.

Helena xxx

October 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHelena

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

November 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkjward518

Ever heard of a 'Luther Burger'?

Named for Luther Vandross, it's a Krispy Kreme donut with hamburger patties, sharp chedder cheese, and 2 slices of bacon. The donut has been sliced in half, then grilled first.

Yeah.

No thanks.

January 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwolfsilveroak

WANT!

January 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNulono

ha. my mom and i actually saw the previously-referred-to paula deen episode where she concots a similar "brunch" item just this wewek, and we cannot stop talking about it. were were both sick and watching the food network, and we saw a "food to come" kind of clip of the burger right before a commercial break- i swear we argued throughout all the commercials with something along the lines of "that's not a burger" "yes it is, mom" "no, that's just too gross for words..." "but mom, it's PAULA DEEN"...
Although she spices it up by placing the meat, egg and bacon between TWO donuts - no cutting corners for Mrs. Deen.

i still cannot believe this really exists.

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That burger is a variant on "The Luther," a favorite snack of R&B singer Luther Vandross. No kidding.

http://www.snopes.com/food/origins/luther.asp

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterm_write_blog

Just to counter the sheer hatred of Bompas and Par (who I think are pretty nifty)...
I know its a while since this first came to air, but if you actually go on the Bompas and Parr website, they don't claim to have made the bugers as a new idea - they actually say "Visitors were treated to Luther Burgers" (http://www.jellymongers.co.uk/drivethru.html)

March 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRhiannon

Am I a bad person if I want one SO BAD!!!

OMG WANT!

March 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNulono

After a great bike ride it might refill the engine. I don't like sweet with my protein.
Rick

Wow. This is so gluttonous that there is a piece of me that WANTS to like it...but it just looks so stinkin' gross.

April 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As bad as the cheeseburger on a doughnut sounds, the bacon and tomato on a doughnut (with sprinkles, no less) sounds even more sickening. :| Not for me! xx

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

Ugh. Speaking as a veggie, that is revolting. Even if I did still eat meat, I would not touch anything like that! It's like your arteries are clogging just by *looking* at that monstrosity! :O

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLucy

I don't feel good now

March 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSakura

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