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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Sep192008

Mixed Signals

Some cakes are hard to read, and for once I'm not talking about the handwriting:


A screaming baby paired with "congratulations"? Ah, that's subtle sarcasm at its snarky finest.


Here's a tip gleaned from years of family reunions: the second Mrs. Klass asks "What's that supposed to mean?", it's time to leave. Trust me.

Of course some cakes are more subtle, like this one:


"We'll wish you luck, but we don't have to be happy about it."

Or just baffling, like this one:


I'm not sure if this guy is supposed to look afraid of being eaten, disapproving, or in pain from his "shades" melting onto his face. Say, there's a bit of unintentional ironic realism for you: sunglasses melted onto the face of the sun. Heh.

If Mr. Future's-So-Bright's feelings are ambivalent, though, these cookies are clearly ticked off:


Poor angry cookies. At least their pain is my sugary gain - and I get the added bonus of talking smack to my food. "What, you lookin' at me, punks? Huh? How's about I drown you in some milk before biting your heads off, then? Yeah, not so puffed up now, are you, tough guys?"

And finally [smirk],

All that black - and black roses, no less! - makes this look more like a final retirement cake, if you catch my drift. It gets double Wreck points for the "Retiremet" misspelling, too.

Brittany M., Elizabeth G., Jessica C., Linda N., Monique R., and Jill C., many "thanks".

« Dead Men May Tell No Tales, But Wrecked Cakes Sure Do. | Main | Wrecks Takes a Field Trip »

Reader Comments (112)

I wonder if I am the "first" to post? I "doubt" it though.
I hope someone will identify and translate the language on the unhappy cookies, which look a wee bit piratical to me. Arrr! (It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day). I'm guessing it's Czech or Polish, am I close?

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkitchenrefugee

Damn, I haven't left enough space for the whole word. I'll just leave out the "n"--bet no one will notice.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

All right first picture... Close you eyes and think Mario... Open them. That's a heck of a mustache on that baby... DA DA DA DUN DA DAH!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScott Sherlock

Hey I love that baby cake. It looks quite well done! And I'm all for keeping it real when it comes to babies and kids. Better to let that new mom know what she's in for! (This is a mother of 5 speaking!)

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

Ouch- that first one looks like a circumcision cake.
Congratulations, indeed!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChatRabbit

Maybe I'm weird, but if there was a cake like the "Good Luck Jerry" cake at my going-away party, I'd be touched. I'm seeing that they really are wishing Jerry luck, but they can't smile about it because they don't want him to go. Snf.

The sun cake looks like the decorator put a smile on, then either decided or was told that the smile looked too small and needed to be wider, so she added a bit of icing and voila! Painful grimace!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

I would pay double for angry cookies. I'm inspired to make them...

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Make of it what you will, but when younger brother was born, Mom made birth announcements that looked just like that first cake.

I think the unhappy cookies are Romanian. The cost converts to approx. $2.90 USD. If anyone makes a trip to Romania, I'll pitch in to bring some back.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Hahahahahahahaha! lmao!

~Hyla
http://earthyfinds.blgospot.com

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHyla Waldron

Romanian. :)

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe White Family

Hah! I love the image of you talking smack to a cookie right before you bite its head off. You should do that in public then report back here. :)

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Actually, that baby cake is really funny and quite well done. I'm still not thrilled with the idea of cutting into a baby cake, but … this one is pretty cute.

And those cookies are awesome. Hope they taste good.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkerrie

Arrrgh! Can't believe I forgot about Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Anyway, I really like the first cake--as a childless-by-choice woman, it makes me smile. And it's done very well, too.

On the other hand, that "ball and chain" cake just looks like "pile o'poo on a rope." I can see the hostess now--"Who wants extra poo??"

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Maybe that "retirement" cake is really supposed to say, "Happy Interment" ?

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

It's Romanian. Weeper Cookies (I think fancies would be a more appropriate term) with Jam. :)

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndreea

The language is Romanian. :-)

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKari

Oh, and for the words: "Sportul" is the brand name. Under that, the words on the top of the circle say say "fancy cakes with jam", and underneath, "weeping". (The price label says "weeping fancy cakes.)

Binevenit! :-)

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKari

Great stuff! I love finding blogs like this. Anything that makes me laugh is good quality fun! I'll be back.

http://braintwinkey.blogspot.com

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Brain Twinkey

about the pirate jelly cookies - the language is Romanian, "Plangacila" = weeper and they are also called EmoCake ;) (cost ~$3/package)

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTBD

Too Funny!
And the baby cake well that's realism for ya! ;)
Ball and Chain, yep makes me want to go out and get married! Hyuk!
Hey! And on the frownie cookies, just imagine the fun you have smashing it into crumbs if your having a bad day!

Peace!
Clueuin

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterclueuin

I think the first two are actually pretty funny. I don't know if they're really "wrecks" so much.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Awesome! You take DOWN those cookies! Tell 'em who's boss girl! Yeah!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter8 is the new normal

On that baby cake? I love that the "congratulations" is on the baby's diaper! Is this to congratulate the new parents on the numerous disgusting & no doubt smelly things to come their way?

The rest of them? Hilarious as usual!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

I am glad that was a screaming baby....when I first glanced at the picture (I usually like to read your commentary before I look carefully), I thought that baby was gagged...eesh.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHotch Potchery

I guess the language on the cookies is romanian,sportul studentesc is a romanian footbal club.
anyhow this blog is offers me everyday a laugh so thank you very much:-)
Ale

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAle

The screaming baby is AWESOME!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnnalee

While the first two are great wrecks - the angry cookies just might be my favorite!!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter*Michelle

It is Romanian. Plângăcilă is the brand name. Fursecuri cu gem means Cookies With Jam.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpaul

Maybe the "Retiremit" is German. For...something.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually, I think they spelled it 'retiremit,' as there is a dot by the 2nd 't.' BTW - Isn't cake supposed to represent happy times?

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey--I'm LOVING these appropriate cakes, being a cynical guy (the "Congratulations" cake, the ball-n-chain wedding cake, and the poopy-face "good luck" cake are all great).

A word on the unhappy cookies:

In Pittsburgh where I live, the Eat 'n' Park Family Restaurant chain makes what they call Smiley Cookies. They've been doing this for decades now. Here's what one looks like:

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_6QShpZ0i1Ds/RkdoBt2-pXI/AAAAAAAABWs/JGsf84ER-bw/PC310179.JPG

King's Family Restaurant, a competing chain, began making Frownie Brownies a few years back as an answer to the Smileys:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3038/2653561627_26b6a954b9.jpg?v=0

I'd rather eat a brownie than a too-sweet iced sugar cookie any day.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMetalNoir

I think there needs to be a cakewreck special on black frosting. Even on the baby cake, ew. That's up there with the electric blue as far as unappetizing.

And those angry cookies look so familiar. WHY? For some reason I remember cookies with a face like that and I'm associating that with delicious. Google won't translate it, but it appears to be Romanian.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDNfromMN

That baby one is pretty cute, even if the poor kid is crying. I think that unlike the other baby cakes, this one would at least be edible given the cartoon nature of it, right?

As for "retiremet," I'm happy not to be ready for it if it means that a sad picture of me is going to be immortalized in fondant and black frosting roses. I mean, really... BLACK?

As always, hilarious.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRob

so um... is the "Good Luck Jerry" cake supposed to refer to cancer or something? Sure sounds like it.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDeaf Brown Trash Punk

I actually think that the first one is hilarious. Oh, irony.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterObsidian Dragon

Unhappy cookies and a depressing retiremit cake. Ahh, irony.
~Amy

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So as for the 'angry cookies'....they are actually the crying cookies, they are Romanian...need I say more. And and they are layered cookies with a layer of jelly or jam in the middle.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That baby looks more like he's been muzzled than screaming. Maybe its congrats for finally getting the baby to shut up?

Kudos to kitchenrefugee for celebrating International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Gotta love a frilly pink cake with a big ol' black ball and chain - with sprinkles, because THOSE make it FUN!

These are cracking me up - I want to try the angry cookies! lmao

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

I like the sarcastic edge to the first two. But the cookies are adorable.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTemperance

Too much black icing...I'd hate to go to those parties and have "blackmouth syndrome" after getting stuck with the piece with the black icing!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermonster

Kudos for whoever recognized that was a screaming baby, because it kinda just looks like a diseased kidney laying across its face

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRay

"I'm so hoppy to be retiring!"

BTW, I posted an entry on my site about Cake Wrecks a few days ago.

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFunnyHairpin

I must admit though, the baby likeness of the first cakewreck shown is not so bad!! Props for that!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTanzie

Do people actually BUY the cakes from bakeries when something is misspelled? They would have to offer the cake to me for free AND give me another because I wouldn't dare put a cake like that in front of my guests! That is just so unprofessional.

People, people, people, if you aren't sure how to spell something, there is this wonderful word book called a "Dictionary", ever heard of it??

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPandaBear

I want my food to be happy about being eaten damn it!
Those cookies remind me of a really bad Stephen King book based movie. "Yhe Langoliers?" Maybe

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter3BG

Okay what is that black thing supposed to be on the Mrs. Klass cake? It looks like a pile of ants...

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I enjoy Mr Retiree's shirt in the photo. It looks like a cake wreck all on it's own!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCassykins

Oh, that first one is just too good. If I had kids and they or their girlfriends got pregnant, I'd get them that cake. And then inside the cake would be an envelope with a 30-day eviction notice from my house.

I guess it's lucky I don't have kids, eh? If I ever get pregnant, I'll buy me that cake myself.

And next time I bake cookies they're gonna be all kinds of angry!

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMongoose

I'm getting arch spasms just looking at how the baby's toes are curled in such an awkward way.

And, it kind of looks like "Hoppy Retiremet" to me, which doesn't mean anything, but certainly adds to the, uh, uniqueness, of the cake?

September 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermary

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