My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Every Breath You Take...

This was ordered by a medical center to celebrate their Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetists (CRNAs, see?). The bakery no doubt felt very clever outfitting the nurses with giant mallets in addition to the needles ("the better to knock you out with, my dear"), but when you couple those with the stalker-ific inscription:

"Every heartbeat...
Every breath...
Every second...
We'll be watching."

...the creepiness factor pretty much goes off the hilarity scale.

Submitter Anony M. would also like me to point out the giant crack down the middle where the two cakes were cemented together, the black and yellow icing bleeding into each other, and the fact that this cost $150. That may all be true, Anony, but in my mind any cake that lets me reference old Police songs is well worth someone else's hard-earned money.

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Reader Comments (150)

Wow, that's something. They look like little elves.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, I thought it was suppose to be an open book at first. I didn't know it wasn't intentional...

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Silly me... I thought they were leprechauns drinking massive mugs of beer.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

What about the fact that the "we'll" is a completely different color?

This cake is wreckerific.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Is there a reason why "We'll" is in a different colour?

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterros

I thought this was a cake celebrating leprechauns with giant beer steins at first glance.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I just spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out what St. Patrick's Day had to do with anything. Then I realized that those are supposed to be scrubs.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlois

I seriously thought those were leprechauns until I read the commentary!

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

That'd be a great cake for St. Paddy's Day. Assuming the leperchauns that are stalking me get together and celebrate St. Paddy's.

wvotd. unlist...I'm going to unlist my number so that damn leprechaun will stop calling me.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

Wait, what cost $150? The cake??


January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAimee


January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

$150.00????? Are you kidding me? Someone actually charged $150.00 for this? And worse, someone actually PAID $150.00 for it??? WTF?

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

Why mallets?? Do leprachauns need mallets? Can leprachauns be gainfully employeed as nurses? Hmmmmmmm. I don't understand why the "we'll" is in white letters either. Way to go wreckerator!

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSugarBean

But I can't go to sleep...they'll take me Lucky Charms!

I'm sorry I totally didn't see nurses in scrubs with mallets at first peek. I saw leprechauns with steins. I thought maybe the unit had a drinking problem or this was a very early St. Patty's Day cake.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

$150 for a sheet cake?!? That looks like it was from Wal-Mart, no less! I'd like to know what brands of flour, sugar, and cocoa they're using to justify the price at that talent level.

At least you can tell the characters are nurses, but the rest of it.. Bleh.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdiopsideanddiamonds

I hope they got a refund. The mallets are hilarious though.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

With the face masks and green gear, I thought the cake was for some South American rebel's birthday. Or maybe Mario's terrorist brother.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertim h

Ahhhhh! A mind is a beautiful thing to waste........and someone must have been wasted when they thought up this sentiment!

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What no comment on the white "We'll"?

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCorvin

And why is the word "we'll" in a different color than the rest of the inscription?

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMindy

Where are the stereotypical white uniforms? And why not put the woman in a mini skirt while we're at it? And, OMG, they look like evil little lephrechauns.

Angie (from over at

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

They're supposed to be nurses? At first glance I thought, it's a bit early for St. Patrick Day, Killer Ninja cakes, isn't it?

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJ. Applebee

How could anyone possibly demand $150 for this with a straight face??

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdr_igloo

Eewww. I thought they were leprechauns or something. But, mallets and needles? Huh?

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

Prior to actually reading what was written on the cake, my first thought was..."Who the Hell would put Keebler Elves on a cake?" Now that I know it cost $150, I'm even more baffled. Ridiculous.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

$150.00?? Is it filled with solid gold coins? Dang.
I thought it was cute, though.
~Amy B.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

My initial reaction, before reading anything about the cake, was that these were elves.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkjl

I'm rather ignorant in the medical field and didn't know immediately what "CRNA" stood for. That being said, until I read your description, I was under the impression it was a cake celebrating homicidal leprechauns.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSparky

I think this might be one of my favorite cakes. I can't image that the decorators didn't see this as a creepy cake when they were designing it. Mallets? Really?

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pink Queen Albatross

You forgot to mention that the nurses look like leprechauns!

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

He also left off the detail that for some odd reason the "We'll" is in a different color than the rest of the inscription. You can see what someone left off intially.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I thought it was about the horror movie, Leprechan!

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I totally thought those were leprechauns at first.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

I also like how the "We'll" in "We'll be watching" is white, rather than green...

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmerican Idle

Holy cow! Those are supposed to be nurses?! I thought they were little stalker leprechans with mallets and stakes to drive through the hearts of vampires. I thought it was a little odd that they were holding the stakes pointy-side up, though....

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCEW

Wow, $150??! I hope it at least tasted alright...
and I definitely do not understand the mallets

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJes

CRNA here....and this is hilarious!

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

and no one is disturbed by the fact that the nurses look rather more like demented leprechauns? because that was really the problem for me.

that is one creepy cake.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizard

When I first saw it--before I read the comments--I thought they were leprechauns with beer mugs!

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

I thought these were leprechauns with large mallets. Either way, it's creepy!

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Okay, this didn't feel all that wrecktastic until you cited the $150 price tag... at which point I realized the hospital was being taken for a ride.


January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHoward Tayler

At first I thought it was two leprechauns drinking beer from giant steins and I couldn't figure out what that had to do with nursing. Thanks for clarifying they were mallets in the commentary. :)


January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At first I thought it was two leprechauns drinking beer from giant steins and I couldn't figure out what that had to do with nursing. Thanks for clarifying they were mallets in the commentary. :)


January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At first glance, I thought those were two garden gnomes with green beards attending a workers' union strike...with nothing to protest...

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlaina

Why is "we'll" in white when all the rest of the writing is in green?! $150?! Highway robbery, I tell ya!
What is UP with those mallets?! LOL

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

Apparently, these are leprechaun CRNAs. Instead of taking care of the pots of gold at the end of the rainbow, they make you see rainbows by bonking you on the head with giant mallets.


January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

$150? Really? Really?!?! Is this cake just incredibly big?

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought they were leprechauns too at first glance. Just weird. The most shocking part is that thing cost $150.

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteramyd

I think I'd be intimidated into paying the $ just because the mind that could come up with homicidal leprechauns and also asking for that much $ for something so obviously wrecktastic obviously belongs to a sociopath.

wv: wracke...this cake is everything that makes up a good wracke ;)

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

I totally thought they were dwarves/elves/gnomes, as well. Even after I read it was to honor nurses, I still didn't see scrubs, I saw dwarves. It wasn't until you said you loved that they'd given the nurses mallets that the lightbulb went on. Is that my fault? Or the decorator's?

January 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlyson

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