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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jan302009

Score!

It's nice to see the bakers here in the U.S. aren't picking sides when it comes to Super Bowl cakes. Nope, they wreck 'em all equally.



Well, one out of three ain't ba....no, actually, that IS bad.
Never mind.

Ok, I have to admit it: when Anne-Marie mentioned the "terrible towels" in today's earlier post, I had no idea what she was talking about. Fortunately, a reader has informed me that these are yellow towels Steelers fans like to wave about during game days. (I suppose it's too much to hope that this is a tradition somehow inspired by Douglas Adams?) Heh, you sports fans make my wearing a Bajoran earring to a Star Trek Convention seem almost normal.

ANYway, so knowing about the towel thing helps a little when viewing this cake:

But you still have to wonder: did the baker feel even the slightest pang of irony?

Oh, and remember a few ages back when I made a crack about how next bakeries will be decorating our loaves of bread?

Behold!!

[shaking head] Well, at least they used dough instead of frosting. That's something, right?

Now, I can only assume this next one was made by a baker who knows even less about football than I do:

That, or s/he is venting some pre-game frustration.

Many thanks to Krista W., Catie P., Diana W., Jennifer H., and Corrie R., some hoopy froods who really know where their towels are*.

*If that last statement baffled/consternated/frightened you, go here.

« Of COURSE It's Right-Side Up... | Main | Are You Ready for Some Football?! »

Reader Comments (88)

Hmmm Yummy!

January 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFootball Blog

Just found your site and am CRACKING up over these cakes!! I LOVE it! Your blog will be a regular read from now on. You put a smile on my face. Thanks!

January 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdonna@stuffcookswant

i like how not only was "cardinals" misspelled, but it was written in the style of the baseball (St. Louis) Cardinals' logo. nice work!

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMia

The world can't be too bad if one can find a blog that intertwines awful cakes and Hitchhiker references.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmerald

I only have three terrible towels (jealous of the nice person who said they have four!) and I live in Arizona. I'll be the only Steeler fan at the Superbowl party, and I'm bringing all three towels.

It's sad really, because I like the Cardinals and I respect their success... if they were playing any other team I would be totally rooting the other way.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterToni Marie

Back during my supermarket-baker days, we actually did make football bread.

This was raisin bread pinched into a football shape, then you wound pipe white icing stitching on after it cooled.

They didn't really sell that well, but the mark-up was high.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDon

Isn't the cake in the last picture (you know, the one that looks like a "your mama's so fat" joke) in fact a dreaded Cupcake Cake? That might explain the football that wanted to be a star.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I love that the decorator looked annoyed and was fixing her cake mistake.

I am totally LOL on the heart of gold comment, but I appreciated a little Douglas Adams humor to get me through football cakes.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thank you for the Douglas Adams and the Star Trek references. They made my day!

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBe Like the Squirrel, Girl

Hey I make football bread....

Mine even sorta looks like a football.

http://bike-riding-donut-guy.blogspot.com/2009/01/go-out-for-pass.html

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Donut Guy

Er...I just gotta say..."terrible towels" is by no means a technical term. In baseball we call them rally towels. The Rams called them Rammy Wammys. Anyone have a more universal expression?

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These cakes crack me up! You find the craziest cakes ever. Love your blog.

-FringeGirl

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthedomesticfringe

Living in the Steel City but not being a native (I'm from the enemy city of Cleveland), I camouflage myself by waving a Terrible Towel. However, like you, in my head I secretly think of it as homage to dear D. Adams.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

thanks for the HH ref - made me smile!

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCovering Cairo

LOL. The cakes are awesome, but the Douglas Adams references made this one of my favorite Cake Wrecks posts of all time! You sure are a hoopy frood. Note that my screen name is labdogs42, surely you can tell I'm a DA fan?

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlabdogs42

Talk of big spiralling bits of poo! That 'dough' on the bread looks like an unfortunate incident that occurred in the bakery's washroom. :) But, at the very least that loaf gave me a lovely excuse to say poo.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHappySlob

Well, as we all know, it's really cool to take vowels out of words. The Steelrs are embracing the future and going the way of Flickr.

Verification word: odsips. Fairly applicable for a blog about awkward food...

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdogface

Um, WHAT number Superbowl does the bread-decorator think this is? 43?

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIrreverendAmy

I laugh at your blog daily and I've been trying to get my hubby to join in this sick & twisted daily routine. I should have known, that the belly laugh he had wasn't because of the cakes but due to your Star Trek comment.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlways an Adventure

Thanks for the Douglas Adams reference! I just saw something on the History channel about a cloud of ethyl alcohol in space that has been discovered, and I was so sad that he missed learning about it. *raises pan-galactic gargle blaster in toast*

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllergy Mom

At least the writing on the Terrible Cake is well executed with no spelling errors.

Isn't it a requirement that cake decorators know how to spell? Well, I guess not.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMotorcycle Grandma

Ladies,
I am disappointed that you are not getting with the programme in terms of a non-judgemental approach to spelling and punctuation.

I used to be like you. I was very pedantic about these things. Until I realised I was being typecast as a 'grumpy old man' or 'dull middle aged guy'.

And where's the sex appeal in that ? No, I've realised that to hang with the kids, one has to turn a blind eye to poor spelling and 'text speak'. And spelling the 'Steelers' as 'Steelrs' is just a little logical progression on the way to texting 'Go Stlrs !!'.

Has my sex life improved as a result ? Not yet, but one lives in hope...

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i nearly died when i saw that terrible cake! i just moved back to pittsburgh this year, and we actually have a "terrible tree" (xmas tree in only steelers themed decorations) up at the courthouse. and i mean a giant tree, it's a 30 footer.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Hahah This hoopy frood is rooting for the Cardnials, but that Terrible Cake is hilarious

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen of TheOutpost

FYI both baseball teams in the Bay Area called them "rally rags". Neither seemed to have very stable lettering after a wash.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

well, great. one of those looks like a loaf of rye bread with lettering made of poops.

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

as a kroger bakery employee (who is happy to see none of her cakes have made the site!) I wanted to tell you that in regard to the football bread, district offices make us do that. We think it's as stupid as the rest of you do :)

February 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhighrise

Am I the only one who read the first cake as "Go Gardenal"?

February 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCeline

okay the funky looking football cake.... I have a theory... could it be a cup cake cake?

February 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

I totally have a Bjoran earring that I got at a Star Trek convention when I was 13!! Woo hoo!

February 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Reasons I love Cake Wrecks:

- Witty commentary
- Cakes that make me look like I'm a great decorator in comparison
- References to one of my great passions, sci-fi, constantly.

It's frellin' sweet.

February 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFoxTrottinKate

Oh yay!! Douglas Adams references, I am so happy. I love him and this website, both make me laugh. :)

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGigi

Jen, you'll be happy to know that the football world has taken notice of your fabulous blog. Cake Wrecks and Kissing Suzy Kolber (an NFL humor blog) are my two daily blogosphere visits, so imagine my joy when KSK used this image for their superbowl open thread...and properly credited it to you. link here: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/02/ksk-open-thread-1-pregame-show-ennui.html

Convergence of my two favorite blogs=best day ever. Also best day ever cause the Stillers are world champs again!

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

I am dating a football player and I know only about three things about football and one of them is that the ball itself is not shaped like that last cake.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

You totally missed a cake pun!! That last one is a cake made for a football star!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

'Some of these cakes break the "Cardinal" rules of decorating'. I so agree...laughing at other peoples ..hard work...if thats what you can call it lol xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

COol!

May 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

And what, pray, is wrong with decorating bread? When I was in school, our Food Technology class finished off the year by making sweet pizzas. Not the chocolate 'pizzas' you can buy, that are just a bar of chocolate with stuff on in an unusual shape, but actual pizzas. I put chocolate chips in the bread, whipped cream in place of tomato sauce, and various yummy bits on top. And it was excellent.

October 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarrieVS

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