My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sideshow Slideshow

(Yeah, just try saying that three times fast.)

Step right up, folks! Witness the stupendous, astounding, incomprehensibly incomprehensible, Freak Animal Mutations Only a Baker Could Create!

First, feast your eyes on a spectacle n'er before seen this side of Pooville...

The crappily conjoined cupcake kitties!
Yessir, there's nuthin' like a few fecal felines to show a baker's "anything goes" attitude - especially when they number two. [smirk]

Well it looks like a frog, but I detect some monkey business.

"Walk the dog"? Looks more like "Scrape the Sidewalk."

And don't you love it when Wrecks are so unrecognizable that the bakers have to write us little clues on the cake board? I think I'll have to do a whole post on those soon...

Oh, but first, remember that kiddy song "Do Your Ears Hang Low?"


Ok, last one - just for the "shell" of it:

"Dude, I used to have nightmares about a turtle that looked exactly like this when I was little."

"But that was a long time ago. How can you be sure?"

"Turtle recall."

Thanks to Wreckporters Sarah P., Melissa T., Meredith, Kristin C., & Ed P.!

- Related Wreckage: Blame Decopac

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Reader Comments (119)

The last one reminds me of something I would of found in my lil girls diaper a few years ago as for the "Frokey" (frog monkey) my lil girl loved it.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVickie

I think they're the turtle-like aliens from The Fifth Element, the Mondoshawan.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCory

I will be using the term, " a few fecal felines" as often as possible today...

Great post as always.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPetalsYoga

I think we found the turtles that caused the salmonella outbreak ...

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

Is there any cake under the mound of turtle frosting? EWWW!

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChar

Those siamese kitties make me want to diet.

Those looks like cakes I would make.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatballs

Oh, poor kitties! Not only do they have heads too small in proportion to their bodies, but their bodies are covered in poo! Something unfortunate happen in the litter box? Poor kitties.
Thanks for the morning spit take, guys!

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHobbit

I think the Monkey/Frog is actually a Mr.Potato Head with well... bananas on the bottom. Come on, the hat, ears and eyes. Anyone???

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrissy

Fecal Felines..gag.
~Amy B

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

The green blob cupcakes remind me of the Mondoshawans from Fifth Element.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

The Dog CCC, my three year old says, "Awww, that's a nice cat-skunk cake." LOL


October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHartley

Love the bad puns. (Turtle Recall - rofl). Just like in the old Dilbert cartoons before he focused solely on office life.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvie

I hypothesize that on the tiger cake the Team Mom (I'm assuming this is for some sort of child's team) ordered a certain number of cupcakes (say, 20) and that the bakery couldn't possibly cram another cupcake into that crazy tiger head. So they added one to the side to complete the order.

Please excuse me, I just spent an inordinate amount of time wondering why there was a random cupcake off to the side on the tiger cake and this is what I came up with. Had to share.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Yikes. I got nothing else.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

I agree with the others. Turtles do indeed look like poo piles.

I was reminded of this time when my son (he was about 1 at the time) had too many of those green freezer pops (his grandmother did it).

Yes... green poo. Perhaps the baker was recalling a similar event? ;)

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereco_kitty

I'm not sure these are turtles. They look like the weird aliens from "The 5th Element" or the ones from "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy!"
Take your pick. ;)

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Re: the joke at the end of this post. Jen, you're so hilarious! I heart you.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Those turtles sort look like squished schleestacks from Land of the Lost, the 70's version.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndy Mathis

"Turtle Recall"...HA!HA!

The Walk the Dog "cake" looks like a turtle head morphed on to some sort of hobbyhorse body.

I love turtles, but not these!

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think Monkey Frog needs to be on a shirt or apron...just sayin' ;)

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKrusho

Oh my. I very nearly snorted Root Beer out my nose while reading this post. It was a close thing. God, those cupcake creatures are horrifying and yet so hilarious.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

The cats scare me (run faaaar away!), but the tiger made me laugh. It's not so "grrrrreat!"

Turtles? Those are TURTLES?

*resumes running faaaaaar away*

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

And I forgot about the dog. The dog looks...I dunno. I wouldn't want to be in a dark room with a dog that has crazy eyes like that.

Nor a frog/monkey thing. "Mommy, the eyes are following me!!"

These are more wrecky than usual--and that's saying something!

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

No, that last one looks like the spawn of the Michelin man and the Incredible Hulk. Not that's a hook-up.

WV: welly
Do you welly think so? I welly do.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWATERBABY CHRISTINE

Those "turtles" look a little like the the "turd" the older brother, Chet, got turned into in the movie Weird Science!!

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJaemi

Sorry for being off-topic (the pictures have rendered me quite speechless), just wanted to tell that your book has been delivered to my home in Germany today and we LOVE it!
I know I'm probably not the first German to have ordered it, but still...:)

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatharina from Germany

No. No. No. The AWFUL (snort) pun-opportunity aside, surely those green blobs were sent to remind us to Wash Our Hands. They are clearly GERMS from the heretofore unknown Turtle-Flu virus. So you turtle-ly need to remember to take your vitamins and get plenty of rest..... Especially you, John.

Splorp! What's that, Cake Decorator Person? Oh... Let's call it a turtle.

all the best to you,
Deborah in California

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah in California

Are those "turtles", cupcakes covered in green poo, I mean frosting? Maybe they've never seen a turtle?

"Well, they're green. And round. And... that's about it."

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdharmamama

Why don't they just start making entire cakes out of frosting? Sheesh.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfeathergirl

Turtle Recall????

Get your a$$ to Mars...
Get your a$$ to Mars....
Get your a$$ to Mars....

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCake Believe


October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Wicked cool tiger
cranks up his flesh tunnels' gauge,
smiles despite crossed eyes.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

My 11 year old son thinks the punchline on the last cake should say,"Turdle Recall".
My kid cracks me up.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

i laughed out loud when i saw the turtle faces.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrachelle

I have never seen "cupcake cakes" in real life...who? why? what were they thinking?

I did look back on your blog a few days ago, reading all your old posts and my three year old was in my lap when we saw the caterpillar and where the wild things are. I know what I am going to try and do for her and her sisters' birthdays in June (wild thigns) and Aug (very hungry...)

Thanks for the blog! Its great to escape to durring time outs =)

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

You heartless people, have none of you noticed!? That poor monkey, his arms are coming out of his FACE! Oh, the horror those wreckerators inflict on poor, unsuspecting animal cakes.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Whispers the words....

I kind of like the tiger.

(Hides in shame.)

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicholas Piasecki

OMG that monkey thing scared me as I scrolled past quickly by mistake. It was a like mask of horror flashing on my screen.

I shouldn't look at this blog before bed...I'll have nightmares...

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

There is no excuse for not thinking twice before you break out the brown icing, people!

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

LOL, it's 2cats1cup(cakecake)!

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Does everybody notice the conjoint cat twins, who have been run over, the heads-neither of them- match the colour of the body. Not even if you mashed the head colours together would you get that colour. As a cat lover I am appalled.

Now the monkey frog. I'm not going to go on about its shape. I AM however going to ask if the gel things for arms and above the head are bath gel which often comes like that...not in that colour though.

I'm not even going to comment on the dog which seems to have been pieced together from petrified poop in an effort to recreate some semblance of a malformed bear, kept as a pet dog.

The tiger looks like it was once a tiger rug, was spewed on by some fluoro paint eating kid and then steam rolled.

What HAS the baker been eating?
green poop turtles??
i wonder what the inspiration for THAT one was
I think the swirly-ness to the green should have us ALL worried.

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRicebubbles


"Walk the dog"? Looks more like "Scrape the Sidewalk."

And don't you love it when Wrecks are so unrecognizable that the bakers have to write us little clues on the cake board? I think I'll have to do a whole post on those soon...

A whole post on that would be great!!!

Thank you for your blog!!!

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I know you've read it before but "Turtle Recall" ha ha ha!

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersleeplessnights04

My 3 year old said the frog was a monkey and just look confused at the turtles and said "What is it Mama??"

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterConnie

I am in pain, and it's not punny.

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstashmuffin

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... I think iv seen these turtles before to.... ;)

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterurbangirl

Whenever I need a laugh, you always come through! :)

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJess T

I can't figure out why The Evil Empire insists on using the poo-tube for all of their cupcake and cupcake-like items. I mean, I get the ease, but for the love of cake, use a star tip!

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdiopsideanddiamonds

I think the "Walk the Dog" one isn't actually a dog, but is actually a warning of what will happen on your floor if you forget to do just that.

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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