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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Oct272010

This Is Halloween. (No, Really.)

Greetings, bakers! This handy guide will demonstrate how easy it is to turn your bakery's plain stock cakes into fabulously frightening Halloween designs.

Ready?

Then let's get started!

First, nothing says "Halloween!" like a sprinkling of candy corn:

So easy, the deli guy can do it!

Or, October is the perfect month to stretch your product's shelf life. When the icing cracks and the colors fade, just add a spiderweb!

See? Now you meant to do that!

And why not take this opportunity to "customize" your scones?

"That'll be $1.20 extra for our 'tomb scone specials.'"

Or, since studies* have shown that customers prefer plastic over pastry nearly 37 to 1, far better to reach for your trusty Flotsam Bugs®!

* We asked our marketing team.

Suddenly, Stanley felt the tide of power turning...

Flotsam Bugs® are grrreat for turning any design into a Halloween one. Can your bakers only make roses? Nooo problem. Just add a Flotsam Bug®, and poof!

Now that's one scary Halloween flower!

Or, how about turning a birthday present into a Halloween birthday present?


Spine-chilling, isn't it?

But let's say you have character cakes already decorated with an assortment of flotsam. What then?

Why, just pipe a few ghosts on, silly!

Hm? What's that? How do you pipe ghosts?

Uh...

Ever see a cactus?

Perfect!

And finally, what about all those doggy cupcakes you're required to pump out by the pound? Well, a little Flotsam will soon have you seeing eye-to-eye with your customers!

[chortle]

Or, if you want to go the extra mile, give Patches some patches!

Good dog that's awful.

I mean, uh, look how cute!


And remember, bakers, once Halloween is over it's easy to convert your cakes back, too:

"Aw, Suzy, don't cry! It's just a sweet little kitty cat! See? He's smiling at you!"

Thanks to Wreckporters Katrina S., Kristin S., Holly Q., Emily A., Sara F., Megan G., Jess & Connor W., Bettie P., Stacey K., & Kristen, who know that a party hat makes everything better.

« Training Day | Main | Going Through a Rough Patch »

Reader Comments (75)

I know what I'm doing at work today!
*grabs last year's bag of candy corn*

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBryan

i think patches has bedbugs!

Addie

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

That is one massive rose.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

Do you really need Halloween inspired cakes to make it scary? >>shudder<<

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

Are those ants with the spider web or are my eyes deceiving me?

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

OMG! That green dog??? And that last evil black cat with a party hat? Did you see those teeth?

I can just see it now... children in their party best sitting around a table singing Happy Birthday anticipating a cute birthday cake... when hostess brings out evil party cat cake!

Kids scream and topple the table as they jump up and run away in terror.. that night all are having to sleep with their parents and crying out of fear the evil black party cat is going to come out from under their beds and attack!

I love you guys!!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandy also in SoFla

That cat in the birthday cone hat is terrifying. I wanted to try to rhyme this post, but I'm too freaked out.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lili Effect

OMG that was HILARIOUS! the advertising commentary was a scream!

seriously? spiders on roses? eh, I could see that. (It IS a lovely rose)

the flotsam eyes and fangs on the cat are scary! poor Suzy! bargain cake for you! (hope you're older than 10 so you're not totally traumatized)

Patches is moldy and infested with bugs. But he looks happy, like he's looking for a home. (Reminds me of ratty looking Sandy from Annie)

the Cycloptic Dog is great! he's ghostly white too! LOL leaving ghastly footprints and kibble. He's even missing a toe...huge moustache, too. Is he wearing a costume? is he related to the abominable snowman in Rudolph?

hey, cactus ghosts have every right to be under the sea with Spongebob, a squirrel, a butterfly and a pineapple. it TOTALLY makes sense....REALLY....(great Halloween save bakers!)

meanwhile, the ribbon on the present looks like vines. maybe the spider is lost?

"tomb scones!" LOL

I can't decide on the neon purple and green cake....are the ants ganging up on the spider? are they being lured to their doom? are they his minions? are the wreckerators confused about what spiders look like and the ants were supposed to be an infestation of spiders? (we all know they're just recycling the leftover summer picnic ants.... extra credit at the bakery with the manager for not wasting supplies!)

brilliant stuff today. so much variety. and love the ad! well done! (er, by YOU, Jen. OBVIOUSLY not the wreckerators)

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Admit it, you've been looking for a chance to say 'tomb scone' for a long, long time.

LOL

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Why are there Cheerios in the box with the cyclops puppy?

Becky

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have a feeling that some of these designs are the result of store managers, in an attempt to be all I/O Psych and Office Space-y, are encouraging workers to be creative! and innovative! and YES, you too can contribute by creating your own designs!

Because made-to-order standard bakery fare just doesn't scream "career growth."

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

I actually really like the dog with one eye! That's what I'm going to get for my birthday.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Well, a local musician here does have a song called "The Spider in the Rose", but I'd be amazed if the wreckerator knew it. It's a lovely inadvertent homage, though.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Are those piles of poo next to the dog?

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeAnn

Is it bad that I actually kinda like the zombie dog?

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i. hate. spiders. and ants.

but seeing the two together on a cake was hilarious!

they looked ready to fight to the death in some sort of epic Flotsam Battle!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkittymidori

I really like Patches, actually. At least it looks like someone made an effort to create the zombie-ragdoll-creepy puppy. And he's soooo happy! I'd buy him, if he wouldn't put me into a sugar coma.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ugh. the Dizgeek in me only sees the hidden mickey on the seeing eye dog cake...

I must need help!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstaxia

All I could think of when I saw the second cake down was, "NO, NOT MY BELOVED PUBLIX!" I guess I'm naive and thought that Publix could never make a cake wreck. The green dog looks like he has open wounds. Yikes!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIrene

I used to love plastic whatnot on my cakes when I was younger. Even after the cake was gone i got to wash it off and have a keepsake.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmme Piedmacer

Cat cake:
I see the hat now, but at first glance and your comment about recycling, I saw a zombie chicken hatching out of a weird looking Easter egg.

Sharon's Edible Art

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

FYI the SpongeBob flotsam come with little buttons on the backs. When you push the buttons, their top halves pop off! Then, you can have some real fun and mix up the tops and the bottoms!

I know because the cake my husband brought home for my son last weekend had them in a baggie attached to the box. The pop-off toy amused my kids so much the flotsam never touched the cake at all!!!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNettyM

I love it when my 4 yr old daughter looks at this site and says stuff like, "What the heck is that supposed to be?!" Today it was in reference to the black blob that was likely to be a black cat.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Maybe I'm sick, but I actually liked Patches the Frankenstein dog.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKenvee

I think Patches is really a cake meant to show the importance of using flea and tick collars even in Octobrrrrrrr :)

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That black party cat wants to eat my soul. And I say that as a lifelong cat lover! At least Frankenweenie is kind of cute...

The spider on the rose could be an awesome Goth cake if done properly.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

Here kitty kitty kitty...LOVE the black cat cake! "No, Susie, those aren't fangs on fluffy, really."

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I think I like the spider on the rose cupcake. I think the plastic of the spider would prove a nice foil on the palate against all that frosting...

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Ok, I kind of like the cat in the last one. It's got this "Hi, kids, want to play a game?" sort of vibe....

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

@Sandy -- When's the last time you saw kids at a party in "their best"? Where do you live, Stepford?

That said, I also think Patches is pretty adorable. His face is so sweet. (ba-DUM!) And I'm a cat person.

wv: dessne. "Patches looks like he wants to go home with you, dessne?"

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

What does the green dog's tail look like to you.... HAHA guess I have been looking at too many "castle" cakes

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

ha ha. as usual i laughed out loud... unfortunately, i have pleurisy at the moment, so it was a bit painful! well, most of those cakes would have been painful to see, even without pleurisy! haha. Love it all!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

ha ha. as usual i laughed out loud... unfortunately, i have pleurisy at the moment, so it was a bit painful! well, most of those cakes would have been painful to see, even without pleurisy! haha. Love it all!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

How sad is it that I'd buy the one-eyed dog?

That black cat is plain evil though. Little Suzy needs to run far and run fast!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKnit Wit

The cakes are funny, but hey- have you ever worked deli? It's no picnic...

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is that rose on a PIE?

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterInaya

That Chernobyl dog was actually kinda cute. :)

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJillian

Addie beat me to it! I agree... Patches has bedbugs.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

My co-worker walked up and saw the dog with the patches on it and said, and I quote, "Why would someone want a cake of a dog that has ticks on it?!"

Ewwww...It makes me itchy thinking about it...

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

'tomb scone' 'Flotsam Bug' (R)

*snort*

Love the hidden mickey. That cat is going to give me nightmares.

Laughing too hard to keep thoughts straight. Choking on chocolate chips...

Note to self: no more food or drink while reading CW.

~~Di

ah, wv -- resth -- I can now take a resth from laughing... images are no longer on my scthreen.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

um, I think I see a pumpkin patch under the sea! Spongebob? care to comment?

wv: perfixte.
how to recycle a botched cake. ("Look, I perfixte it!")

Also, what it becomes. "Look, it's perfixte!"

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Given that wreckerators do 'scary' the other 51 weeks of the year as well, Halloween cakes are almost redundant. Still, these bogus 'saves' are hilarious.

I wonder if the spider web was inspired by the real thing...

How about a zombie cake -- where the cake itself is a zombie. Yummy!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

oh and the "birthday present" with the big spider on it???

it knew it was a wreck all along... there are orange "W"s all over the cake.. They stand for Wreck.

Addie
(again)

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

Is it just me or does the thing on the top of the black cat look like another face. That is actually what I thought until you mentioned party hat. Whoops!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Gibson

Underneath that spider is a very pretty rose. Though never seeing something like that before, I'm envisioning that it is actually a cupcake with roughly a pound of icing... Also, I kind of love the scary black cat with the party hat...

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

I kind of thought the "fraken-dog" was cute...Am I a werido?

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Favorite punchline: "tomb scones"
I think I'll have to go make some now...

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Who lives in a pumpkin under the sea?
Spongebob Ghostpants!
Transparent and pale-white is he!
Spongebob Ghostpants!
If nautical Halloween is somethin' you wish
Spongebob Ghostpants!
Then drop dead on the deck...
Spongebob Ghostpants!
Spongebob Ghostpants!
Spongebob Ghostpants!
Spongebaaaaab Ghooooostpaaaaaaants!
Boo-boo boo-boo boo-boo booo-oooo
Boo!

wv stchaid: I'm glad I stchaid and read the comments - you guys are funny! :-D

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Since you've gotten it stuck in my head I give you!

This Is Halloween In Deutsch!

[Schatten]
Jungen und Mädchen jeden Alters
Würden Sie nicht gerne etwas seltsam zu sehen?

[SIAMESE SHADOW]
Kommen Sie mit uns und Sie werden sehen
Diese, unsere Stadt zu Halloween

[Pumpkin Patch CHORUS]
Das ist Halloween, das ist Halloween
Pumpkins Schrei in der Stille der Nacht

[GHOSTS]
Das ist Halloween, jeder eine Szene machen
Süßes oder Saures bis die Nachbarn vor Angst sterben
Es ist unsere Stadt, jeder SCREM
In dieser Stadt von Halloween

[Geschöpf unter dem Bett]
Ich bin der einem Versteck unter dem Bett
Zähne geschliffen scharf und rote Augen

[Mann unter der Treppe]
Ich bin der, versteckt unter Ihnen Treppe
Finger wie Schlangen und Spinnen in den Haaren

[Leiche]
Das ist Halloween, das ist Halloween

[VAMPIRE]
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
In dieser Stadt haben wir zu Hause anrufen
Jeder Hagel zum Kürbis Song

[Bürgermeister]
In dieser Stadt, nicht wir lieben es jetzt?
Everybody's für die nächste Überraschung wartet

[Leiche]
Rund die Ecke, man versteckt in den Müll cam
Something's nicht auf der Lauer, und wie Sie ...

[HARLEQUIN DEMON, Werwolf & MELTING MAN]
Schrei! Dies ist Halloween
Red 'n' schwarzen, schleimigen grünen

[WEREWOLF]
Hast du keine Angst?

[HEXEN]
Nun, das ist gut so
Sagen Sie es einmal sagen, dass es zweimal
Nutzen Sie die Chance und die Würfel rollen
Fahrt mit dem Mond in der Nacht

[Hanging Tree]
Jeder Schrei, Schrei everbody

[Gehenkten]
In unserer Stadt Halloween!

[CLOWN]
Ich bin der Clown mit der Träne weg-Gesicht
Hier in einem Blitz und ohne Spur verschwunden

[ZWEITER GHOUL]
Ich bin der "wer", wenn Sie rufen: "Wer ist da?"
Ich bin der Wind bläst durch die Haare

[Oogie Boogie SHADOW]
Ich bin der Schatten auf dem Mond in der Nacht
Füllen Sie Ihre Träume bis zum Rand mit Lampenfieber

[Leiche]
Das ist Halloween, das ist Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
Halloween! Halloween!

[Kind CORPSE TRIO]
Tender lumplings überall
Das Leben ist kein Spaß, ohne ein gutes erschrecken

[Parent CORPSES]
Das ist unser Job, aber wir sind nicht bedeuten,
In unserer Stadt von Halloween

[Leiche]
In dieser Stadt

[Bürgermeister]
Haben wir nicht lieben es jetzt?

[Leiche]
Skeleton Jack können Sie in den Rücken fangen
Und schreien wie eine Banshee
Machen Sie springen aus der Haut
Das ist Halloween, jeder Schrei
Wont 'ya bitte Platz machen für einen ganz besonderen Mann

Unser Mann ist König Buchse des Pumpkin Patch
Jeder Hagel zum Pumpkin King

[ALLE]
Das ist Halloween, das ist Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!

[CORPSE KIND TRIO]
In dieser Stadt haben wir zu Hause anrufen
Jeder Hagel zum Kürbis Song

[ALLE]
La la-la la, Halloween! Halloween! [Wiederholen]

Let it haunt you!!!!!!

oh and for the WV-->acids

What the makers of these cakes must have been using when these cakes were made.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

I loved the rose with the spider... and all three Halloweenie animals at the end!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

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