My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Fan "Art"

This Halloween, why not add a little personality to your pumpkin?

Harry F. carved this little beauty. Disturbing-yet-fabulous, no?

And Lauren was inspired by both the famous belly cakes and Suzy's Wreck to create her own CW tribute costume:

And yes, she's pregnant. That's what makes it so horribly good.

And finally, I'm pleased to announce that I've finally solved the mystery of this little guy:

Several of you sent in pictures of the above cake topper spotted at a cake show some weeks back. (It's good to know that the sight of something this disturbing brings me immediately to mind. Heh.)

Here's another angle:

As you can see, this is a figure of a middle-aged guy in boxers and a mohawk riding a carrot. Trouble was, no one could tell me who made it, or even which cake show it appeared at, so I was left to wonder if the baker responsible meant to do a sneaky homage to CW, or was just plain nuts.

Well, not too long ago, I got a delightful e-mail from the cake's creator, Burton (also responsible for the fabulous Frankenstein wedding cake), and I got my answer: he's both.

Here's his explanation:

"I am convinced that it is only a matter of time before Cake Wrecks inspired cakes get their own category at cake shows. Since I am usually very far behind the curve on most things (current affairs, fashion, street slang, which fork to use…) I thought I would try to get ahead of the curve on this one. So I decided to enter a competition cake partially inspired by the Cake Wrecks blog. And why go half way? I entered it in Kerry Vincent’s own Oklahoma State Sugar Arts Show."

Yes, Burton made a middle-aged half-naked mohawk-man carrot jockey for Kerry Vincent. Told you he was nuts.

Here's the whole cake, with Burton's notes:

See the little fireman's hat? That's an ode to yet another famous classic Wreck.

Wondering how the crowd reacted? [evil snicker] Burton, fill us in on all the gory details.

"Public opinion did not favor this entry. Every time I saw anyone approach my cake they would immediately exclaim, 'Oh, look at the cute pumpkin scarecrow cake!' and then pass my cake by on their way to see the cute pumpkin scarecrow cake that was several entries down the table. My entry did get high marks from Craig Gustafson of American Cake Decorating Magazine, though, and the judges gave it first place in its category —take that, cute pumpkin scarecrow cake!"

And just because I had fun reading it, here's the rest of his e-mail:

"After the judging I spoke with one of the judges who admitted that most of them didn’t know the significance of the carrot until Bronwen Weber set them straight. [Bronwen rocks.] I actually got to meet and make a fool of myself in front of Bronwen as well as Kerry Vincent and several other celebrity decorators. While I may not have made a fool of myself in front of Jennifer Matsubara, I at least left her convinced that I am very creepy, if the look in her eyes and the speed with which she backed away were any indication." [Hah!]

"I just thought I would let you know how something as sweet and innocent as the naked, mohawk-baby carrot jockey can be twisted and perverted in the wrong hands. Mine."

The good thing, Burton, is that most of us are just twisted enough to love you for doing this, so it's all good. Wreck on, my friend. Wreck. On.

(Still trying to figure out what the deal is with the carrot jockeys? Well, I don't have much of an answer for you, but you can start by going here.)

« The Twilight Zone | Main | Halloween "Huh?"s »

Reader Comments (109)

Omg I love the geriatric carrot jockey!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Needs to be a T-Shirt! Great detail there. :)

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

That may be one of the best things I have ever seen. I love the cult geekery that has sprung up around CW. Okay, actually I love cult geekery of any kind, but this kind is especially sugary.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

All of the tributes are genius. I wish the carrot jockey cake had included a close up and explanation of the lower tier.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Perhaps a bit too much going on for people to appreciate it.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPam Walter

That is just AWESOME. And now we know what the baby carrot jockeys look like when they grow up. (Kind of scary, if you ask me.)

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

That's incredibly well-crafted. Too bad it's too late to make the pages of CakeWrecks. (And when is CakeWrecks, the movie coming out?)

wf: I have no falking clue what that CCC is meant to be.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Meme

the guy riding the carrot? is awesome. and thanks for the link back to the fireman story... i laughed so hard i cried. and made my husband look at me funny. :)

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNobody


October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyla

Amazing, wonderful, twisted tribute. "Creepy" decorator guys are okay in my book (or yours as the case may be).

Wreck ON!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBreath-e

ROFL! That's true fandom there.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

That's just beautiful, and I would have totally voted for it.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandra D

I actually really enjoy postulating that the carrot is also past its prime. Only an old carrot could be contorted into that shape without snapping.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJikuu

this makes me so happy. lol

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

Oh that's so awesome!! JEN! You're FAMOUS! Woo Hoo!

I LOVE the halloween costume too. too very inspired!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

LOVE the carrot jockey! Would have loved to see the look on Kerry Vincent's face when she saw it! At least Bronwen was on hand to educate her!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

Awesome cake!

I apologize on behalf of the state of OK for dissing Burton's cake. I'm glad he won.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJerry

Oh Burton. Will you marry me?

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Awesomeness! LOVE the carrot jockey. The detail on that cake is great!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaaren


October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBaker's Cakes

Wonderful details! The boxer print, the mohawk, sneakers, glasses, everything! THIS is *exactly* what the baby carrot jockey will look like in about 40 years (if the baby jockey never went to therapy to work out his childhood issues with carrots and mohawks).

Burton is not only a great cake artist, but what a wonderful writer to boot.

Thanks for sharing!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

That pumpkin is freaking awesome!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlex Getts

Crap. Old man yam rider has me laughing so hard I'm drooling on my keyboard. Great ending for my Wednesday word day!

WV: bolit -- best pronunciation I could manage 'cuz I'm still laughing.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

That is so funny.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbrenkachicka

Very, very funny. Burton's remarks are just as funny as the cake itself. How wonderfully disturbing!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBB

CakeWrecks in 2060: This is your little mohawk baby, all growed up and still having fun on that carrot! Awesome detail and skillz on the cake - I love the mismatched pillar.

Carved pumpkin is too good! Shirt... definitely appropriate for Halloween!

WV: imske - got ma hat and carrot, now Imske-daddling outta here.

MC from NZ

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow! What a champ! I'm glad the judges were familiar with the site :)

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Little Red Hen

Two thumbs up for Burton! That is hysterical!!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

It's the baby carrot jockey all growed up. I bet Kerry Vincent fainted!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

He's obviously one of the babies 50 years in the future! :)

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaitlin

Hey! I know that lady with the creepy belly baby thing! She lives in my neighborhood. Awwwe... CakeWrecks, bringing sick freaks together, one weird friend match at a time.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

I love the old carrot jockey!!! So adorable!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKachine

Lauren, not only is that a brilliant and brave costume, but it is the best-executed self-taken mirror photo I've ever seen. Surely your child will be grateful for his or her genetic heritage in creativity and style.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

My first comment to Cake Wrecks, and I feel compelled to, er...point out...that the droopy carrot tip sticking out from middle-aged jockey's legs is, well, much more disturbing than the baby carrot version.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizPBlog

knew it was an omage straight away! how brilliant is that cake...and the fire fighter hat is AWESOME (although I don't think it worked in his case)

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Burton, you are my hero!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterReam O Rama

I'm sort of relieved to hear that the figure of a middle-aged guy in boxers and a mohawk riding a carrot WAS an intentional homage to CW. *whew*

I guess even naked mohawk-baby carrot jockeys have to grow up sometime!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

Pure Genius!!!!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKnitter-itch

Hilarious. I love that Bronwen was the one that set everyone straight.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras

We appreciate the ingeniousness of that cake even if the folks at the cake show didn't!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkayoko

All three of these tributes are superb, but the Pantsless Aged Mohawk Carrot Jockey must be the best decorated cake I have ever seen. So what if some Philistines in Oklahoma didn't think it was cute enough?
The coin box next to the carrot is a touch only a genius would think of. And the four columns, three damaged and one missing-- perfect. Not to mention the loose sock, and the Latin motto on a banner.
Burton, I bow down before your splendor.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

That's like the best cake ever. I love it.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrosecampion

That is beyond awesome. The style totally reminds me of the Transmet comics.


Words cannot express. <3

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterComedyMouse

Best Pumpkin Ever!!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

All I can say is: ROCK ON BURTON! This freakin' awesome cake, Bronwen Webber, and Kerry Vincent in one place? How awesome is that?

P.S. There should be a warning on your book for people not to read at work when reading at work is verbotten. I got in soooo much trouble - but it was WORTH it!!!!! I can usually laugh pretty hard to myself, but your writing style to go along with some of those wrecks caused me to lose absolute control. I bow to the god and goddess of cake wrecky humor!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMyCatsRule

:D Awesome for Cake Wrecks to be recognized! I think he's just showing what the baby carrot Jockey might look like in the future. Long live Cake Wrecks!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGoof

All of those pics are fabulous! Harry F, you've got some serious pumpkin carving skills! Lauren, very clever! and wrecky!

And Burton! Your cake is so incredibly fabulous! The really fantastic ode to Cake Wrecks aside...the detail in everything is really amazing! The bricks, the tile, the face of your mohawk

A round of applause to all of you Wreckies...

~Bonnie B :)

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

So now we know "Whatever Happened To" the baby carrot jockeys.
Too funny!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Take away the Mohawk and that carrot jockey looks disturbingly like Dr. Scratchansniff.

WV: tramsta - a public transit gangbanger.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Luxuries

OMG, he did that at Kerry Vincent's show??! He *is* nuts!!! (But super work.) And how lovely of Bronwen to explain.

Food Network usually does a show on the Show, hopefully the geriatric carrot jockey will be featured.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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