My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Fan "Art"

This Halloween, why not add a little personality to your pumpkin?

Harry F. carved this little beauty. Disturbing-yet-fabulous, no?

And Lauren was inspired by both the famous belly cakes and Suzy's Wreck to create her own CW tribute costume:

And yes, she's pregnant. That's what makes it so horribly good.

And finally, I'm pleased to announce that I've finally solved the mystery of this little guy:

Several of you sent in pictures of the above cake topper spotted at a cake show some weeks back. (It's good to know that the sight of something this disturbing brings me immediately to mind. Heh.)

Here's another angle:

As you can see, this is a figure of a middle-aged guy in boxers and a mohawk riding a carrot. Trouble was, no one could tell me who made it, or even which cake show it appeared at, so I was left to wonder if the baker responsible meant to do a sneaky homage to CW, or was just plain nuts.

Well, not too long ago, I got a delightful e-mail from the cake's creator, Burton (also responsible for the fabulous Frankenstein wedding cake), and I got my answer: he's both.

Here's his explanation:

"I am convinced that it is only a matter of time before Cake Wrecks inspired cakes get their own category at cake shows. Since I am usually very far behind the curve on most things (current affairs, fashion, street slang, which fork to use…) I thought I would try to get ahead of the curve on this one. So I decided to enter a competition cake partially inspired by the Cake Wrecks blog. And why go half way? I entered it in Kerry Vincent’s own Oklahoma State Sugar Arts Show."

Yes, Burton made a middle-aged half-naked mohawk-man carrot jockey for Kerry Vincent. Told you he was nuts.

Here's the whole cake, with Burton's notes:

See the little fireman's hat? That's an ode to yet another famous classic Wreck.

Wondering how the crowd reacted? [evil snicker] Burton, fill us in on all the gory details.

"Public opinion did not favor this entry. Every time I saw anyone approach my cake they would immediately exclaim, 'Oh, look at the cute pumpkin scarecrow cake!' and then pass my cake by on their way to see the cute pumpkin scarecrow cake that was several entries down the table. My entry did get high marks from Craig Gustafson of American Cake Decorating Magazine, though, and the judges gave it first place in its category —take that, cute pumpkin scarecrow cake!"

And just because I had fun reading it, here's the rest of his e-mail:

"After the judging I spoke with one of the judges who admitted that most of them didn’t know the significance of the carrot until Bronwen Weber set them straight. [Bronwen rocks.] I actually got to meet and make a fool of myself in front of Bronwen as well as Kerry Vincent and several other celebrity decorators. While I may not have made a fool of myself in front of Jennifer Matsubara, I at least left her convinced that I am very creepy, if the look in her eyes and the speed with which she backed away were any indication." [Hah!]

"I just thought I would let you know how something as sweet and innocent as the naked, mohawk-baby carrot jockey can be twisted and perverted in the wrong hands. Mine."

The good thing, Burton, is that most of us are just twisted enough to love you for doing this, so it's all good. Wreck on, my friend. Wreck. On.

(Still trying to figure out what the deal is with the carrot jockeys? Well, I don't have much of an answer for you, but you can start by going here.)

« The Twilight Zone | Main | Halloween "Huh?"s »

Reader Comments (109)

I haven't words to describe the coolness of Lauren's costume. Way to go, and I hope the baby inherits her sense of humor!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Gray

Love the Halloween costume. Mad props there. And way to embrace the creepy baby shower cakes, too. I've been telling everyone I know, "NO BABY SHOWER CAKES. PERIOD!" I'll be quite happy with just some plain flowers and correct spelling/grammar, thank you.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Burton's cake is awesome!!! (excessive exclamation points are totally necessary)
Would I be going to far to liken it to Josh Bell playing violin in the subway and only one fan recognizes him? No, I don't think I would. ^_^
Also, because I'm a nerd, I want to know what the Latin on the banner says. Did he happen to say?

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfathomless

Burton - that cake is sheer genius! It makes me very sad that I did not get off the couch and go to the Sugar Arts Show at the Tulsa State Fair earlier this month. It was a whole 12 miles from my house. If I had known this cake was there, I would have gladly fought for a parking spot, paid the stupid gate fee, and walked through the throngs of people just to see it! Sadly, it will probably not be on the Food Network show about the show (as it were), since they always focus only on the wedding cake contest. While I enjoy that, too, I think Burton's cake might just merit an entire show of its own. :)

I want to know the Latin phrase, as well as what is on the backside of that jack-o-lantern...

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStillapill

I think the Jockey is too sexy for that cake! I'd kill for those Legs and Chest. Fine sculpture in Cake!

Mom-to-be's belly is GREAT! Chocolate delivery,indeed!

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterscorpguy1028

Oh - one last question: Is that a Members Only jacket or a Michael Jackson-style jacket from the 1980s that the geriatric carrot jockey is wearing? :)

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStillapill

All of it is too awesome. The carrot jockey in particular is faboo beyond belief.

He should enter it in the Austin cake show...we're much more fun down here. :D

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Burton is awesome! I love his boldness to do this in a show! Amazing detail and homage. Love where CW is taking you :~)

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

These are all fabbo tributes to Cake Wrecks! Burton is my new hero, and I hope you meet him at the Bethesda signing on 11/5. I wonder if he looks like the carrot jockey...

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjunewilliams7

Am I the only one that thinks the carrot jockey looks like Adam Clayton?? LOVE IT!!

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

OMG - Too Awesome!

Carrot Jockey Sr. totally looks like he stepped out of the movie "Heavy Metal"

Rock on!

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteralynxia

The t-shirt costume is awesome! =D Love how it is done. =D

Summer" rel="nofollow">A Writers Den" rel="nofollow">Brown Mestizo

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

The banner very loosely translates (from what I can see and remember from Latin and the handy-dandy Latin to English translator) something about being persistent about walking upon lame flesh? Can't see all of the "Pedi" word and can't make out the beginning at all. At first glance it looks like it says something about babies/children and carrots. Heh. This will bother me forever, now!


October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMom O' Trips

i look at that whole cake and I'm just amazed at it. It's well done.

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

When will we get a Food Network Cake Wrecks Challenge?

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary B

Woah, that is one amazing pumpkin carver!

And I'll join in the lovefest for Burton.

Stillapill, a preliminary glance at the Latin motto revealed that I'd have trouble translating it with my Latin dictionary (translation: it's more the Latin of Harry Potter than the language of Cicero).

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I fully endorse everything in this post, especially the cake.

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfeathergirl

Love, LOVE the carrot jockey. If anyone meets Burton, give him a hug from me.

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

The carrot jock cake is absolutely hilarious!

I have to say, though... the sculpting on this thing is extraordinary. Extreme talent and a geeky sense of humor? Plus he bakes?

Is he single?

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.


October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

That is so NOT a wreck! It's a wonderful Sunday Sweet! :)

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzie

This story just COULD NOT get any more awesome!!! Well, unless Kerry Vincent e-mails you pictures from her own horror file dating back over half a century....

And say hi to my lovely wife at, she's the one who introduced me...


October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So, how do we get a Challenge episode based on Cake Wrecks. That would so rock!

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNyk

Jikuu said...
"I actually really enjoy postulating that the carrot is also past its prime. Only an old carrot could be contorted into that shape without snapping."

Yes, of course! (Slapping forehead.) I wondered why that carrot was so limp. It has to be an old carrot! Mine get that way when I leave them in the fridge too long. An old rider on an old carrot!

The longer one looks at Burton's wonderful, wonderful cake, the more incredibly awesome it becomes.

WV: kilmi. You can kilmi if that isn't the best cake decoration in the history of the universe.

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Oh, this is beautiful! Totally awesome, too bad the public didn't 'get' it. This cake, total win!

Can we see a picture of the cute scarecrow cake though?

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTypo Tat

The pumpkin is as hilarious as it is brilliant. I burst out laughing when I saw it. So, Harry F., I raise my glass—of something that might once have been orange juice that I found in the back of the fridge this morning—in a toast to a wicked cool idea and to your mad pumpkin carving skills.

And when has a single garment said so much about the potential horrors of pregnancy/realistic baby cakes. The Cake Wrecks maternity shirt is true genius, Lauren. Who better to nurture the next generation than you. I’d toast you as well but I’m becoming convinced that this never was orange juice.

In conclusion, let me say that you are all very kind. I’m feelin’ the love. Thank you.

Also, the good citizens of Oklahoma have nothing to apologize for. The cute, pumpkin scarecrow cake was very cute and flawless in its execution, as were so many other entries in the show. I don’t know Kerry Vincent’s reaction to the Carrot Jockey cake but the woman is unflappable and has a good sense of humor. It would take more than my dementia to throw her off her game.

P.S. the message on the banner: “Keep hands and feet inside the carrot.”

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbf

Anonymous wrote... "That may be one of the best things I have ever seen. I love the cult geekery that has sprung up around CW. Okay, actually I love cult geekery of any kind, but this kind is especially sugary."

Yes. One could even say SWEET :D

Awesome post. love the pumpkin & costume, but Burton takes the cake.... :D

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChelle

Burton is my hero! I can't believe he did that for Kerry Vincent, I LOVE it! Everything about that cake was awesome.

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

I absolutely love Tim Burton. He is who my fiance and I are theming our wedding after. The cake rocks

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkatiebug

Metal. \m/

I can just see it: Food Network Challenge: CAKE WRECKS

You know it's coming. XD

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

That cake and email was too funny!

That T-shirt is disturbing.

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCookieMonster

An old man in diapers riding a carrot? Eww..methinks serious fetish issues going on there!

Amy B-H

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Burton answered! "Keep hands and feet inside the carrot", indeed... Giant fail trying to translate that one on my part - 30 years since last Latin lesson and weird looking Latin not withstanding.

A Cake Wrecks Food Network Challenge with Burton as on of the participants would be fantastic! My whole family loves Challenge and my husband and I LOVE Cake Wrecks.

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMom O' Trips

I love the old-guy carrot jockey! It's cute!

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkerry

LOVE IT!! And I love that Bronwen Webber knows CW. I adore her and her cakes.

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

Burton answered! "Keep hands and feet inside the carrot", indeed... Giant fail trying to translate that one on my part - 30 years since last Latin lesson and weird looking Latin not withstanding.

I don't speak Latin, but I am familiar with *dog* Latin, and I suspect that is what is being used here. If so, that would explain the difficulty in translating as if it were genuine Latin. ;-)

Dog latin is what gives us such wonders as the Ankh-Morpork City Watch motto, "fabricati diem, pvnc" ("make my day, punk"), and the motto of Possum Lodge in the Red Green Show: "Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati" ("when all else fails, play dead").

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCalli Arcale

Thanks for all the love, guys! I really enjoyed making that costume and I'm glad you like it, too. My husband, on the other hand, thinks it is in very poor taste and forbids me to wear it when trick-or-treaters come to the door on Halloween! Probably a good idea - don't want to scare the littles.

Probably the best part about the costume is we found out the day I finished making it that our baby is footling breech, and so I will be getting a c-section this Monday, rather than baby coming the "normal way." Which makes this costume that much funnier and more appropriate!

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

BRILLIANT! BRILLIANT! BRILLIANT! This blog sooooo rocks!

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereilbeback

How awesome! While you had the cake and were searching for the cake-maker, I had the cake-maker and was searching for the cake!! I know Burton's parents, and heard about this cake from his mother, and wondered if it would be featured on the blog. I'm so happy to finally get to see it!

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSmashie Smasherton

Love it! But what in the name of Carrot Jockeys is a "semi-professional" cake?!? Does that mean you only get paid for your cake decorating work SOME of the time? Or only half of the cake is made by a professional and the other half is made by a complete amateur? :)

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Awesome. I especially love the little coin machine next to the carrot rider. It would have gotten my vote.

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Absolutely hysterically wonderful!!!

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterConnie G

Burton - your Latin phrase was perfect! But I still want to know if the carrot jockey is wearing a Members Only jacket and what is on the other side of the fireman's hat. I would also like to say that your emails are hilarious! Do you do stand up comedy while decorating your cakes? ;)

Callie Arcale - I think Dog Latin is probably the coolest thing since Pirate English. I can only hope that Facebook allows us to view our pages in Dog Latin some day.

Katiebug - I don't think Burton is Tim Burton. I could be wrong, but I doubt Tim Burton has mad cake skills or the time to even consider baking... Plus, the phone number for Burton's Cake FX shop is for a listing in Virginia. I can see where they might have a similar sense of humor, though. :)

October 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStillapill

FANTASTIC! Ride on, indeed!


October 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Burton is made of WIN!!

October 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMay

Burton is awesome. I clicked through to his site and lo and behold, in his" rel="nofollow">cake gallery, he also did several of those Threadless shirt design cakes too.

October 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm the fan who saw it at the VAB Cake Show -not Kerry Vincent's -& emailed you (smsk on yahoo/shabang on twitter), so he entered it in TWO shows? Awesome. I say we petition food network now for a cake-wreck related challenge. And no, Stevie CANNOT comepete, b/c she has an edge.

October 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

I was actually AT the Oklahoma Sugar Art Show- drove my mom (the decorator) from Ohio to Tulsa. Anyway, while we were in the incredibly HUGE line viewing the cakes on Saturday, when we came to this cake, I exclaimed "Oh my God, a carrot jockey!", and then had to explain to my mom. A couple of cakes downthe line, I heard almost verbatim, the same exclaimation, not once, but twice!
And yes, Bronwen Rocks! Got my pic taken with her!

October 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeri

Is it wrong that these made me hungry?

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Jane

I really don't think the pregnant lady's "costume" is funny. That would really offend and hurt so many people who have lost a baby.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter{ Bethany }

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