Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov262009

In Which Happy Tanks SHOULD Be Given, But Are Not

My dear Wreckies, there are so many ways I could wish you a happy Thanksgiving today.

I could forget how it's spelled:

Tranksgiven? Hanksgiven?
Well, thank goodness for the poo tornado; how else would we know what the occasion is?


Sprinkles: they fix everything.

If you work in communications, I could get you a poo turkey and misspell your department name:

Isn't it ironic?

I could put a military spin on things:

I won't lie to you: I'm quite disappointed with the distinctly un-tank-like strawberries here.

I could try to avoid the spelling hazards in "thanksgiving" by skipping the word all together:

Although I suspect this isn't so much a lack of spelling ability as a general stinginess with letters; notice we only get a single "greeting."

I could remind you of the dangers of overeating:

"No, turkey, don't do it! You're beautiful just the way you are!"

Oh! Or here's an idea: I could avoid actual decorating all together, and use a mound of Dollar Store flotsam chucked in your cake's general direction to convey the appropriate sentiment:

The sentiment being "May you choke on a tiny plastic pilgrim," of course.

Or, I could simply assault you with a visage of such horror that nightmares of it may well plague you for the rest of your natural-born life:

[nodding] Yeah, I think I'll go with that. Seems the most memorable.

Theresa, Michelle H., Becky O., Denise M., Mike A., Chris O., & Vicky J., fingers crossed that you each get a "happy tank" today.

- Related Wreckage: Teasers for the Coming Seasons

Note- For those of you pointing it out, yes we do know that Autumn is misspelled. That's kind of the point.

« This Is What Happy Tastes Like | Main | Really? I Mean, Really?!? (Yes, MORE Turkey Wrecks) »

Reader Comments (133)

The last one is a tribute to the 1st turkey dinner in Ancient Egypt served to the pharaohs- of course it's a Sphinx Turkey cake.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFrigglesnitz

AAAH! That last one is too funny!

Too bad about the strawberry tanksgiving cake, it actually looks kind of pretty.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermiss. chief

The 5th cake down is not just stingy with letters, but also spells "Autumn" wrong. So much for skipping the troublesome "Thanksgiving."

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Can I also point out that "Autumn" has an N on the end? I can? Awesome! :)

Amber.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Am I the only person who thinks the last cake looks a bit like Jar Jar Binks?

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

On the plus side, the strawberries do make for a good looking barricade that is marginally pointy on the outside, even if there are no tanks. See? The cake is giving thanks for the ABSENCE of tanks and for good defenses against tanks.

wv - psyco. *shakes head* I would get that wv while talking about heavy artillery. Go figure.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

Happy Hanksgivening to you too! This was just what I needed to motivate myself before actually getting out of bed, making that pumpkin cheesecake, and facing the first holiday with the future in-laws. :)

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKasia

Lol. Jar Jar binks indeed.

WHAT ARE THEY!? WHAT ARE THEY!? Poo tornado ending in vomit? What? These are so bad they make my very soul cry :(

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

I'm pretty sure that last one was inspired by the judge in Pink Floyd's The Wall. *Shudder*

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCogito

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! :)

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieGirl

Well, at least the turkey on the "autum greeting" cake looks KIND OF good...

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake DOES look like Jar Jar... scary.

On that note, I'm going to go make some chocolate butter cream for today's layer cake - no plastic flotsam allowed!

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSue in N. Va

Because nothing says Thanksgiving like a vomiting turkey butt.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

For just a moment, I thought the last one the 'visage of horror' was a chipmunk doing an imitation of Edvard Munch's 'THE SCREAM' providing you ignore the feathers in the background.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:The_Scream.jpg)

Then I came to my senses---but I swear, the wattles and beak and body still remind me of a little screaming chipmunk.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Isn't it amazing that there are people who actually think some of these cakes were a good idea? Wow. Many happy Thanksgiving blessings to you and your hubby, Jen!

wv: antie - two of my anties are coming for Thanksgiving dinner today!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

jar jar binks?
i'm seeing more "dachshund",
but then again i did try and wipe all memories of that movie out of my mind....

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe that strawberry cake is actually a birthday cake for a guy named Harry Tanksgiven.

Probably not though.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJHill

That last one was terrifying!!!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

That last creature has the ears of a Basset Hound!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth P.

Does Poo Turkey's eyes look crazed to any one else?

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last one.... *scream* ...the horror!

Happy Tanksgiven to all :)

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJanibach

Am I the only one who thought Turkey Pharoah with the last one?

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Also Autum is spelled autumn it's an odd word but there's an n at the end.

Kassandre

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow. These are extra-special wrecky.

Have a very happy Thanksgiving, Jen, John, and fellow Wreckies!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

Maybe I'm just sleep deprived, but that last one looks really phallic to me.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDee

My husband says the last one looks like the sand-beast from Tremors...

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The penis turkey scared me. I was feeling kinda sorry for the bird currently roasting in my oven but after that display, no more! Damn you, penis turkey!

I adore your blog. It is part of my wake up ritual. :)

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKashmir

Those cakes are just wrong. *shakes head* I think you found the worst ones!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I must be watching too much of the discovery channel because I saw an Egyptian headdress when I looked at the last one. Maybe it is because one of my eyes is covered in a bandage?

Happy Thanksgiving!
Trishka

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, at least the Autum (sic) Greeting cake's turkey looks relatively turkey-like.

And the strawberries are so non-military because the tanks were given, so we didn't have them anymore.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynette

Not to sound like a total nerd or anything, but my husband is a Warhammer 40K gamer, and there actually *is* an even called "Tanksgiving" that they erm "celebrate" around this time every year. Although, I can't see how the tanksgiving cake has anything to do with little plastic-and-metal war dudes.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I see previous posters have already pointed out the misspelling of "Autumn."

But I wanted to be smug and point it out as well.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Thank you for the gosh-awful poo cakes...and on this special day! LOL.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStella

When I first saw the last one, it reminded me of the dissected alien facehugger in Alien. Go figure.

I think my favorite one from the last few days is the electrocuted turkey. It's just bleeding hilarious.

Happy Thanksgiving from a vegan.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The turkey on the "autum" cake looks like he's about to eat the greeting.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBridgete

I love the plastic pirate ship that the Wreckerator obviously felt would "totally represent the Mayflower", and that wrapped Lindor plonked in the middle! Festive!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Emilie

Isn't this why it's traditional to eat PIE on Thanksgiving?

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

I shall forever have nightmares of the last one. Mission accomplished!

Autum Greeting! Happy feasting!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHailey

What is everyone thankful for today? I'm thankful I don't have to eat any of these cakes.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

It's almost a shame about the autum greeting, as that has one of the few turkeys that looks.. actually.. kinda okay. Like someone knew how to make them...

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM. Drake

The Dollar Store flotsam cakes may be my favorites, just because of the general WTF of some of the flotsam. Gingerbread men and witches on brooms for Thanksgiving? Does the wreckerator just go with one "decorating" theme for October through December?

Also, I'm pretty sure Jen knew the "Autum" was missing the n at the end (much like she knows that Epcot is a park and Spaceship Earth is the big silver ball in Epcot). Hence the whole it's not so much misspelling as letter stinginess, since they also left the last letter off "Greetings."

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As for the flotsam cake... I get the Pilgrim and hat, I get the ship, I get the turkey, and the gingerbread man sorta, and I even kind of see the point of the apple.... but I'm just not understanding the truffle...

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Sugarbear

I don't see anything turkey-ish in the last one. What I got was a decapitated torso, in a business suit surrounded by flames, with unspeakable stuff cascading down its front. The whole thing was enhanced by the dagger-like reflection in the glass. Truly a 'visage of horror' - I thought it was leftover from Halloween!

MC from NZ

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For some reason, the thing that really strikes me as wrong about the flotsam cake is the gingerbread cookie...shouldn't that have been saved for Christmas?

wv - amunt. No amunt of plastic flotsam should be placed anywhere near a cake!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I should not have looked at this in the car. That last one has pushed me closer to tossing my pancakes than ever. Ugh. Blugh. Swallow. Deep breath.
Alex (who has finally gotten an I'd and isn't anonymous anymore)

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

You never disappoint with the holiday cheer (or should that be hoilday cher).

May your day be blessed and your cakes beautiful (or if not, a fun wreck!)

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterknitorpurl

He/She may spell badly, but props to the Autum Greeting wreckerator for doing a decent-looking turkey.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

Oh, horrors!

And why is there a gingerbread man flotsom on the dollar store vomit cake?

The "Greeting" one must be to not offend anyone who hates that Columbus guy, or Indians or general Thankfulness or whatever.

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

"Dangers of overeating" makes me think of a certain Monty Python scene that can be summed up with the words "wafer thin".

And the wv "brept" is not helping.

*whimper*

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

This is one way to avoid overeating--just take a look at these wrecks just before you sit down to eat. Dang!

November 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJelliDonut

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>