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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Nov042009

New Discoveries in the Animal Kingdom

I believe that all new scientific discoveries should be announced via cake, don't you?

[pushing back glasses and consulting clipboard] Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present...

The Majestic Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda!

Or it might be a fish. Fish...falcon...you know. Whatevs.


[Shuffling papers] Next we have...

The Majestic Happy Chicken-Footed Spiny-Backed Slime Devil.
(Watch out; they spit.)

We're still working on the scientific name for this one:

So for now let's just call it the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound.
(I think that has a real ring to it, don't you?)

Here we have a particularly colorful specimen:

The Majestic Disco Newt! Let's pause a moment to admire his beautiful plumage.

Right. That's long enough.

And finally, we have...


The Majestic Three-Toed Four-Eyed Whiskered Zebra Toad.
(Yeah, you heard me. ZooBorns, eat your heart out.)

Thanks to Kelly D., Kit R., Caitlin B., Jordan J. and Donald L., who are all, er, majestic.

- Related Wreckage: Sideshow Slideshow

« Sporty Spice Cakes | Main | Call Me! »

Reader Comments (189)

The names are MARVELOUS! Thanks for a good laugh!!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlois

The Majestic Disco Newt is actually rather cute in a nerdy kind of way.

The back or shell(?) reminds me of those big parachutes that the kiddlies play with at early childhood family education classes. A lot of work went into all those little stars and the hint of a smile is precious.

As for the rest -- polite words fail me.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebraSue

The Disco Newt looks like one of those Simon games where you have to hit the colors in a certain order... the rest are just scary.

Love the names though - can't wait to see these specimens in my local zoo!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda M.

Are you SURE that's a four eyed zebra toad? Or is it two zebra toads, uh, getting it on?

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarliO

The disco newt looks like a turtle and a game of Simon made a baby.

Also, I appreciate how the wreckerators of the coiled craphound took the time to add a sprinking of random tufts of grass around the cardboard. It's all in the details.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJHill

MarliO,

Awesome.

john

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Wow Jen, you're really on the ball with these new discoveries! None of the news sites have a peep about them!

;)

WV: "crations" We're reluctant to call these cakes actual creations, so we'll shorten it by a letter and call them "crations".

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTornadoBaby

How, um... majestic. The 4 eyed spotted thing gives me the willies.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Are those doughnuts encased in icing on the first one? And other lumps could be Twinkies. I thought the Halloween horrors were done with but - ahh! it's Frankencake!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterInsertMonikerHere

The coiled crap hound is fantastic. Seriously made me laugh out loud, drawing attention from my confused half-asleep husband.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

I actually like these, except for the Disco Newt. At least, they show imagination. The green carp/flounder with chicken feet and the bagel-faced chupacabra are especially interesting.

The Coiled Craphound would be a passable armadillo, except that armadillos have ears and they aren't chocolate brown. But if you had a very clever trained dog that could poop out armadillos, they'd look about like this ...

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

You know, that last one kind of looks like there's two of them. I see two sets of 'front paw things' and two sets of eyes and it looks like, um this is awkward. Yeah, I think you see what I mean, right?
Aw crap, MarliO beat me to it! Where are our minds?

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

The green one isn't a mutant croc or alligator is it?!? By the size of the feet it must have been crossed with a chicken!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSteph M

That green thing is shaped like the Beatle's "Yellow Submarine"! Except--it's green--of course....

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

As JHill said, it's hilarious that the creator of the craphound randomly put clumps around the critter...as if that would make it better somehow. LOL!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I feel sorry for the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound. He looks like he'd be really sweet if someone could look past his exterior and judge him on his personality alone. I'd adopt him.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer N.

See, I saw the disco newt and thought, "Huh. Looks like they made a beach ball and decided summer was over so they had to make it into something else."

WV: impokeb- He didn't impale the head on the stake, he just impokeb it.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

4-eyes on the Zebra-toad? I see 6 and I'm kind of scared to think that it might have more in the back! *shivers*

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeray

I'm thinking the coiled crap hound is meant to be an infamous Armadillo Cake

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thank you for yet again making me spit coffee across my desk in a fit a laughter! I should have learned my lesson at this point! Great post!!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren B.

I Think the wreckerator forgot to write "John 3:16" on cake board of the disco newt.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn H

"Watch out; they spit." That line did me in.
Thanks for my daily laugh! :)

WV: folfi - what comes out when you try to say "fluffy" with your mouth full of cake

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I think it is sad that even the bagel nose creature looks scared. Ironic, don't you think?

-Paula

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Bow WOW

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

crap hound. heh heh

it's shameful what they do with chocolate nowadays.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

That's gotta be a doughnut nose, don't you think? Because BAGELS and cake is so gross.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

The plumage don't enter into it! And hey, ZooBorns has baby otters, so I love them. :-) As for the, erm, majestic specimens... might need a new toilet brush after the inevitable excrement rainbow...

WV: nolic - No, doggie, nolic, I don't want to scoop THAT poop if you eat these wrecks!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeanne

I think it only fitting that we name the Majestic Disco Newt Simon. Pause...look again...you'll get it ;-)

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Shades of those LSD-tripping "butterfly" wreckerators.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

Coiled poop hound - thought it was sunburned Alf.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDecadent Housewife

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!

I'm a biologist and I still can't classify any of those critters. I blame the hideous mutations on high levels of radiation... or mercury...or.... Nah, still no plausible explanation.

WV: calig= stuffed nose pronunciation of "calling." "Dis is de zoo calig. What are dose?"

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMonique in TX

Leanne,

Personally, I'm pinin' for the fjords, bein' all shagged out and whatnot.

john

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

I think the "disco newt" kind of looks like the Simon game from the 80's.. but with a face. creepy.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

"The Majestic Happy Chicken-Footed Spiny-Backed Slime Devil.
(Watch out; they spit.)"

And just try riding into Agraba on one of those!

^..^

WV: ticesses. "As far as men's neckwear goes, this ticesses to amaze me."

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTigerwolf

Disco Newt is acceptable for a wacky party. The others are horrible and terrifying!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Simon the Disco Newt is *adorable.*

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeely

Majestic?

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's a "doodie-dillo." You know, the fabled armadillo made of doodie.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I spit my coffee out at "coiled crap hound". The day...is made, thanks to cakewrecks.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Could that be a veiled Monty Python reference on the Majestic Disco Newt?

Check out one of their best skits ever: The Dead Parrot

Beautiful plummage!!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly H

I'm thinking that the Coiled Crap Hound was a Turdadillo in another life.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

I don't know what that first one is supposed to be, but it's so cute I don't know if I want to eat it or pet it!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudi

Love the gratuitous use of the world majestic!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

I'm supposed to be paying attention in my computer class at the moment, and it's taking everything in me to not burst out laughing at these wrecks and your commentary, Jen!

Keep it comin'!

Nicole

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

Here are today's cakes according to my 5-year-old:

1) parrot
2) garden (he said alligator first but changed his mind)
3) armadillo
4) a snake all curled up, or a colorful turtle
5) funky frog

There you have it!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFirelizards

The Disco Newt reminds me of the Webkinz Wheel of Wow. I made a Wheel of Wow for mw son's birthday a few years ago.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeckyJo

The Craphound looks somewhat like a tardigrade: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waterbear

Except it's missing its middle legs.

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGarfman

Following in the tradition... This is what my 3 year old says these cakes are.

1. A rhino
2. A lizard
3. A monster made out of chocolate
4. He thought about it for a while and all he could come up with was "It's friendly"
5. Long, confused pause, "Another rhino"

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

oh, so Majestic, each and every one!

good thing skinning animals for their pelts is so out right now

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

Unfortunately
They have not ceased to be, they are not ex-wrecks!

November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

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