My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Seasoning's Greetings

There are plenty of reasons why you might not want to wish someone a merry Christmas.

Maybe you're trying to be more inclusive of the cooking community:

Or you're celebrating the oft-overlooked "Hally Days":

Or perhaps you want all of their various "hollidays" to be happy:

Or maybe - just maybe - you're trying to get your friend Roxanna a goodbye cake but all the bakery has on hand are stock Merry Christmas designs so you're forced to make do with one of those and then hope the Wreckerator on duty doesn't screw up your instructions too badly.

But that's just a guess.

Annie J., Kat I., April B., & Kimberly I., I think it's high time we all agreed that "Winter, underlined" really is the best greeting of the season - don't you?

- Related Wreckage: In Which Happy Tanks SHOULD Be Given, But Are Not


Today's charity, Love146, has one simple, compelling, gut-wrenching goal: "The abolition of child sex slavery and exploitation. Nothing less." If you have a box of tissues nearby, read how they got their name. Then go give that dollar - or maybe a few.

Click here to donate via our First Giving Campaign page.

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Reader Comments (67)

Have got to say, I love the kidneys at the top of the cookie cake. Just really sets the whole thing off!

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteramylu

Why are there kidneys on the "Happy Hollidays" cake?

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercarriedavis81

Lol, the cakes like the last wreck never get old. How dense do you have to be (or how much must you hate your job) to miss something like that? Forget for a minute that someone actually piped that onto a cake without a long head-scratching and finally an "Ah-HA!" moment, but they also SOLD that cake. It is just amazing that anyone could actually read an order and really think to themselves "well I am supposed to write what is in the 'inscription' area of the order form, so I guess they really want the cake to say that." Amazing. (exclamation point instead of period)

WV: Desem as in desemcakes, or cakes that have been utterly destroyed by a wreckorator.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike Owens

Ah, never a shortage of people who make that last mistake, eh?

BTW is there somewhere where we can see current totals of what's been raised for all the charities? I tried going to the First Giving page with just cakewrecks but it's the Heifer page.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Don't forget that those Hallidays are especially cheery when being attacked by some sort of fluorescent blue octopus.

wv: oritami -- origami spelled by a wreckorator

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi Zikmund-Fisher

In reference to the first cake, it would actually be a sweet cake if you wrote "Seasoning's Greetings" but decorated the cake with holiday-ized images of Salt, Pepper and Paprika from Blues Clues.

WV: tridest. I tridest cake-makin' business, but I be havin' no luck.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

Hey, I live in Holliday (Missouri)! So I kind of like the "Happy Hollidays"!

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Oh Jen, you are the greatest!
LOL, didn't you know the first one is the picture for the penguin BBQ recipe? The second cake can't say "Holly" (or 'Holi') days because there's no holly to be found...just huge blue clumpy roses. The last one, well of course it is the future cover of a Christmas / Winter / Snow specialty book for next year - right? ;-)

wv: triebrow Part of the penguin recipe- take 3 penguins on a spit. Triebrow till crackling brown- seasoning to taste.
p.s. My daughter LOVES penguins and is going to be VERY upset with me.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

Man, I love those cakes, LOL! I would like to say that you have made me aware of an unspeakable horror. I wish I could donate more to Love 146, I really do.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

Oh my goodness - that last one deserves a place in the hall of fame, next to the "Underneat That" cake.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlbatross

Would you believe that yesterday I stood in line behind a woman with that exact same cake design as the wishing goodbye in place of merry Christmas cake? At least hers came out unwrecked (it just said Merry Christmas or something boring like that). She did pay only $16.99 for it, just as an FYI.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Someone's been watching the baseball trade rumors closely, with the Halliday and Holliday cakes... The Holliday cake isn't from Philly, is it?

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow! Thank you so much for featuring Love146 today! I really appreciate your generosity and your desire to see a world where children are protected, defended, restored and empowered!

-Rob Morris

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRob Morris

Actually, the Seasoning's Greetings cake is kind of cute with the penguins. It's just the inscription that makes it a Wreck.

I love this site! I come on here every day if I need a laugh, and now I look out for cake wrecks when I'm at the grocery store.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMirei

I'm so glad I read the comments. It clears things right up. I thought the things on top of the cookie cake were lungs. Now I know they are kidneys.
Thank you fellow wreckies.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is there a way we can donate on the First Giving page by Paypal?

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, the second one is obviously a get-well wish for French rocker Johnny Hallyday. He's been recording for something like 30 years, is wildly popular with young and old alike, and is currently recovering from major surgery in LA. He might look like 40 miles of bad road, but his concerts are a blast.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i get a headache sometimes trying to second-guess these wreckeraters. wait. is that what we call them?

okay, i need another cup of coffee before i can proceed.

{pouring coffee ... sipping coffee ... waking up}

nope. i still can't understand what these people were thinking.

wait. that's it! they weren't.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

The penguins are so cute on the first one that I didn't notice at first that it said "Seasonings Greetings!" and then I laughed even harder! Mmmmmm,roast penguin!
Ironically, our local(Toronto)newspaper has an editorial cartoon of a Christmas card with the message "Happy Halladays" written on it, because the Toronto Blue Jays just traded pitcher Roy Halladay to the Philadelphia Phillies!

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

I wonder if Roxanna felt honoured to get a wreck? :D

And you were right. I read the info on how they got their name. And I cried. What an excellent charity. Thank you for choosing it today.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVanDyks

Maybe the wreckorator of the first cake used peppercorns, instead of chocolate chips. So really it's a warning and not a mistake at all?

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I now plan to just say, "We'll miss you, Roxanna." It's the new "Happy Holidays," really, and will probably offend fewer people.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiminycricket

Mmm. Penguins. They taste good sprinkled over roast chicken.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFiberQat

The last one is my favorite!

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina

While I am sure its far too late to add another charity to your list, today's put me in mind of another good cause that I thought I would mention:

War Child Canada is a registered Canadian charity dedicated to providing urgently needed humanitarian assistance to war-affected children around the world. War Child Canada helps generate awareness, support and advocacy for children's rights everywhere.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWild Cakes

Poor Roxanna. That one had me laughing out loud at my desk and then trying to convince my boss I was finding something funny about the quarterly report.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRemerdre

The Roxanne cake is an instant classic! Oh my gosh! Whomever bought the cake for Suzanne(a?) with the original "Under Neat That" cake would be proud.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

Hee. I like the Seasoning's Greetings.

As for the charity, what a worthy cause. Donating right now.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtaven

Bwahahahahaha! Did the "In place of Merry Christmas" baker also do the "Under Neat That" cake of yore? Bwahahahahaha!

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Vagabond Priest

Wow, I'm so glad I took the time to suggest Love146. I never dreamed it'd make the top 12 list.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteruwwheidi

I love the penguins... I want that cake, wrecked and all.. looks so yummy

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As a Philadelphia Phillies phan (that's a baseball team, Jen), I'm wondering if these cakes are celebrating something else:

The acquisition of Roy Halladay, quite possibly the best pitcher in baseball, from the Toronto Blue Jays. ...Just in time for Christmas.

Still wrecks, though!


December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Though it did distract me from the spelling for a brief moment, in terms of overall aesthetics it doesn't help that second one to have a decomposing bluebottle fly on it.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJacques

This is my favorite holiday post so far! Seasoning's greetings, happy hallydays, and the decorator writing down the instructions on the cake--CLASSIC! I love it.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks for the great charity drive-- I laugh, I cry... I do that during the holidays, anyway, but at least this year I can better pinpoint the reasons. :D

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm ready for school to be out. I had to read the comments before I read "seasonings."

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNanny

"In Place of"



December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

@ Jiminycricket: "We'll miss you Roxanna" to you, too - LOL

Loved the last one - those wrecks are my favorites.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterblueiguana

What seasonings go best with penguin? Perhaps a little oregano?

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeemack

"Seasoning's Greetings" is actually a nice-looking cake (or cookie? It's a nice looking something). It would be a good accompaniment to the box of excellent spices my brother gave me for Christmas last year.
... If it's meant to say "Season's Greetings," though, the season must be summer, since in the Southern Hemisphere, where penguins live, December is in the summer.

As for "We'll miss you, Roxanna, in place of Merry Christmas," I just can't figure out why they'll only miss here there, and not in other places as well. Maybe Roxanna always played the lead in the local Christmas pageant?

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I was in a parade this year, and instead of yelling out "Merry Christmas!" I yelled "Winter, underlined!"
I couldn't tell if anybody got the reference but it did make people smile! :)

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaitlin Wyckoff

Oh Lord, the "in place of Merry Christmas". Just...*facepalm*

The penguins are cute, and you can actually tell what they are! I had to read it twice to figure out what was wrong with it. XD

Hee, I was at my local supermarket bakery last night but to their credit I have to say that they are decidedly wreck-free. Even their display photo cake was dust-free. There were some smooshed cupcakes in the case that had fallen over but that was an accident. There was even a CCC (ptooie!) with a plastic Santa kit that actually looked cute!

Maybe someone at the bakery reads CW? =D

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

" He might look like 40 miles of bad road, but his concerts are a blast."
BAHAHAHA!!! I've never been to a Johnny Hallyday concert, so I can't verify the last part of that statement, but the first part is a pretty accurate assessment. :P

Oh, and the Wrecks are hysterical, especially the last one.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

This charity is incredible. The dedication these people have to fighting a war most of us would rather believe doesn't exist...I don't even know what to say.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermadfishmonger

Not fair. I'm trying to laugh at the cakes but instead I'm sitting here crying from the story on Love 146. Thank you Jen and John for bringing this charity to our attention and for running such an awesomely hilarious website.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Who orders a giant kidney-cookie cake? I feel like that is not a bestseller.

Is that pock mark on Roxanna's cake from someone's finger? Or from her own heavy tears? If it turns out she's leaving the company that made this cake, maybe it was out of gratitude for her own sort of Independence Day!

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Love it! Love it! Love it! Thanks so much for taking the time to share your gift (the pictures AND the commentary!)

Was baking cupcakes with my nieces today, and had to hold in the chuckles when all of them kept chiming "I want sprinkles! I want sprinkles!" The under 10 crowd has no appreciation for Cake Wrecks!

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGracie

I actually like the last cake in spite of what they did to the "message" on the cake.

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I really hope your going to do a post and tell us all the amount that was riased for all the charities! love it!

December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

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