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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Dec022009

The Cherry (Blossoms) On Top

One of the hottest new trends in weddings today is the cherry blossom wedding cake:

This elegant design not only looks beautiful, but is a cinch to make, too! In fact, here are a few tips to ensure your own cherry blossom cake looks as gorgeous as this.

First, always make sure your icing is niiiice and smooth.

It helps if you lick your fingers first, so they slide smoothly over the icing.

Next, mold or pipe your branches to gracefully scale the tiers of your cake in a natural, realistic fashion.

I know it's hard to believe but, yes, that's really just icing.

Remember, the flowers are the most important part!

[Crickets chirping]

It's usually best to leave off a wedding topper for this style, but if you do choose to have one, make sure it's simple, understated, and elegant.

Note the baker's restraint. Not a single balloon animal!

And finally, when all else fails, remember:

You can always jam a stick in it and charge $200.

(Yes, this was someone's actual wedding cake.)

(And they paid for it.)

(With money.)


Leanne W., Danielle L., Moxie, Holly J., and Robert V. did you know you can make a forty dollar cake look like a 500 dollar cake with just some cookies and sprinkles? Just imagine what you could charge if you jammed a stick in it!

- Related Wreckage: Wedding Day Advice

« Syfy Sacrilege | Main | Merci! »

Reader Comments (123)

That green one reminds me of the 'black oil' that seeped into people's eyes in X-Files for some reason.

And...200 dollars? REALLY!?? Even if you pulled that number out of your butt and they actually paid less. I would be just as incredulous saying "10 dollars?! REALLY?!?"

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

Cake fail.
Amy B-H

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

If someone presented me with the last cake on my wedding day I'd bawl my eyes out, seriously. I wish some of these bakers would quit ruining peoples special occasions and go get a different job! I can't make nice cakes, so I just force my kids to eat them on their birthdays, I don't go out and try and make a business out of it!!

ps Saw your book in my university's bookstore for the first time. It's freaking awesome!!

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn and Sarah Sperry

@ Tigerwolf:
It's called using artistic license for emphasis.

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterblueiguana

LOL - Tears. I am in tears.

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterblueiguana

It occurs to me that two of these wrecks were probably related to the FLORIST...I wonder if the flower-less cake was supposed to be finished with live flowers by the florist and wasn't. And was it the baker that put that horrible stick on the last one, or was it the florist?

My wedding cake had real flowers on it and they were added by the florist at the reception site.

Now we could have a spin-off blog, Flower wrecks? I can see it now!

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJorie R

lol@Tigerwolf-- I guess you get what you ask for in here! Epcot, already! :D

*snicker*

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As a professional, I love this. It makes me gag lol!!

Love your site.

pattycakesnj.blogspot.com

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPattyCakes

crickets chirping...now that's too funny.

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkat

For Marcy W @ 10:29 who said:

Anyone else notice how the "branches" on the green cake have started to bleed?

Honey, it ain't a bleedin', it's a weepin' - cherry tree that is!

For Tigerwolf @ 9:37, PLEASE let everyone know that you were only kidding in your comment and not truly trying to correct Jen. Surely you can't be that naive? Right?

And for Angela @ 12:59, as Siouxzr @ 2:08 pointed out,
WV stands for "word verification". It is the "word"/character- sequence you are required to type in in order for your comment to be accepted as originating from a real person and not some automated process. I hope that clears it up for you.

-WM, the great disco newt

WV: bicari. I could use a bicari cocktail after looking at these wrecks!

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I will say that i actually kinda liked the second to last one in this set. Yes it's overly ornate and with a rather elaborate topper but at least they kept a consistent colour schema.

December 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkireishojo

About the cake with the crazy topper, there were a couple of long threads discussing it on Cake Central. The mother of the groom had made it, and so the couple couldn't be talked out of using it. The baker displayed it on the cake table, not on the cake itself, but then the mother of the groom found it and jammed it on top of the cake.

December 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudi

The worst part is that the second wreck actually looks pretty good... except for the branches. If they would've stopped at the green icing and just stuck a plastic couple at the top everything would've been nice and dandy.

December 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The crazy topper cake had been discussed at length among decorators on Cake Central, like Judi said. The decorator didn't want to use it, everyong else told her that it was the bride's choice so she pretty much had to, then when she posted a picture of it we all reversed our decision and said "Uh, no...Destroy it if at all possible." Unfortunately, if the bride wants to stick something Godawful on top of her cake it's up to her. We decorators usually just take a picture of the cake before the topper is put on, then try to block the incident out of our memories.

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKara

Just posted this to my Face Book as a tutorial for my Wilton Method students as a "What NOT to do!"

For the bakers out there who say the topper is not their fault, I have a contract that specifies no topper will be added.

I set up the cake, snap my pictures and go on my merry way.

If they add it later C'est la vie!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercakes_are_fun

w t h....... as a wedding photographer I see some BAD cakes and these make me shudder!

December 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber Schmidt

That one second from the bottom looks like the one that Abraham would have commissioned - it looks like a ram in a thicket

December 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commentererik.larsen

Argh! Don't people know that cherry blossoms signify the ephemeral nature of life?

(That's 'temporary' for the semi-literate.)

Why would you want this to signify your wedding, unless your name is Britney?

December 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was having a bad day until I found your book at B&N. The comments and photos had me laughing until tears were running down my face... alone... in the middle of the book store. Absolutely needed it and loved it! I'm getting everyone I know your book for Christmas! Or at the very least, everyone I like.

Heidi L. Thompson
thompsonspaintedhillfarm@blogspot.com

December 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

*GASP*

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMedusa Oblongata

At first I thought the second one wasn't that bad. Until I clicked on it and realized the "stems" were um, leaking. Ewww.

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJane

The wedding cake is the center of attention in a wedding reception.It will serves as a very significant keepsake for your very important day.Those cakes are really fabulous!Love the designs!

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercatering

These cakes look like they've been baked in an overgrown forest by lazy stoats. Lazy stoats running a profitable business.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterI Am Staggered

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