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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Feb022009

Wreck-Slingers

Continuing in our superhero series, let's take a gander at the many and varied ways the arachnid-loving aerialist Spider-Man is maligned in icing:

Ok, so he's looking pretty good on the free mini-poster they included (the better to explain the cake, perhaps?), but what's going on with the figurines?

[tsking] "Spidey, have you been battling the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man again? You have, haven't you? [shaking head] I don't care if MJ IS stuck in that gargoyle: you have to learn to stick to your OWN movie plot lines!"

If we have to ask Batman why he's so serious, we need to ask Spidey why he's so worried. Could it be he's puzzling over what a happy "Birth 2ay" is?

Here he looks less worried and more...er...skinned and stretched:

I bet this is the "cake" Doc Ock would like for his birthday: after all, it's a CCC, so it's already inherently evil. [wicked grin]

And speaking of stretched skin, thank goodness this next one is "for display only":

Tell me the top of that cake doesn't look like an infectious skin disease. Go on.

Sheesh, Spider-Man is popular! Stay tuned for Wreck-Slingers, Part 2.

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Reader Comments (68)

Is it just me or is that ccc actually a very nice rendering of Spider Man's grandma?

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristi

I thought the third cake said "Happy Birth Lay, James".

My guess is if James is old enough to get laid and is still requesting Spiderman cakes, it's probably not going to happen.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Love the Spidey cakes..can't wait for my boy to grow up and get something like that!

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February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDoublebanker

Wow, I've been reading Dark Tower too long. When that title showed up on my news feed, I was all like 'Hile and well met, wreck-slinger, long days and pleasant nights to you.' Ahum. Yeah. Spidey, too. *blush*

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKara

Spidey #2 needs some big crocodile tears rolling down. Awwww.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSherry

Are the two weird gargoyles supposed to be the eagles on the Chrysler Building? 'Cause no.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

Aw, poor vacant Annie-Spidey. He looks sad. :(

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Oh its so sad when CCCs go so wrong. That cake is the only one with decent frosting and decorating, however its just such a horrible shape.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBaking and Mistaking

Haha that worried one cracks me up! Those eyes are hilarious!

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

That CCC reminds me of the Doctor Who character (you've mentioned her before) with so much beautification surgery there's nothing left but a face stretched like a tanning hide.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

About the first and last photos: UGH. I hated making those cakes as a decorator. There are so many stupid steps and the rarely come out right...and, that bottom photo isn't accurate...the sprinkles are supposed to be a hideous black color...

As for Spidey on a gargoyle...well, we just did what DecoPac told us to do...

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchelizz

The second cake (third photo) might be an attempt to "show" the Spider-Sense in action. It's been a while since I hit the comic store, but I think that's similar to how the artists draw Spidey getting a warning.

Still ugly, though.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

At least the last cakes look like cake.
I'm on a mission to only say nice things today

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

The icing on the last cake there kind of made me want to swear off all things sugary for a while.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

You is awesome. LOVE it.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah P.

Maybe cakes 2 and 3 are before and after shots of Spiderman's brow lift and botox?

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Accidental Parisian

i never realized how bad the CCC is... in fact, in my mind i always imagined it to be a good idea, since i'm a cc fan but i dont always like cake (i'm strange, i know) but the more ccc wrecks i see on this blog the more i realize cake decorators need to be qualified artists, or just people with a taste for aesthetics before they get hired!

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany

Ug, the last one looks like scabs on that cake, no way I would eat that!

I love the Ghost busters reference, I agree, it does look like he is attacking the gargoyle...strange!

I think that cake decorators shouldn't be allowed to make a theme cake like that unless they've seen the thing it's referencing. Like it's so hard to watch a movie? Just do it so you don't embarrass yourself...

Colleen (cyberrblue.wordpress.com)

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyberrblue (Colleen)

The James cake is also way off center. The right side is squished and has three times as many tingly spidey sense lines than the left!

The for display only cake is confusing. Where does the cake stop in the back? And the edges are all broken off and ugly.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

My 3 yo walked in, looked at the computer and asked; "Why is Spiderman so sad?"

Why do you think he's so so sad, sweetie?

"Maybe because the 'Sand-guy' defeated him."

Where is the 'Sand-guy'?

"He's on a different cake-like a GOOD one."

Even the poor kid knows it's a wreck.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLora

(Warning: nerdy pet-peeve approaching)

Grr, it's Spider-Man, not Spiderman.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJayunderscorezero

OMG worried spiderman...rofl!

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCraftastrophe

seriously - Cake Wrecks is one of the few things that can get me actually laughing out loud when reading it. You're hysterical!

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFrom Single to Married

Is it just me, or does the CCC version look a lot like Cassandra wearing a Spiderman mask?

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Hmm.. so it is Spider-Man. Now that's a weird little detail I've never payed attention to.

As for cake #2, Laure already mentioned the spidey sense. Which only makes the cake funnier in my opinion!

The baker might be trying to tell who ever bought that cake something.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lunar Fox

Baking and Mistaking said... Oh its so sad when CCCs go so wrong.

Is it possible for a CCC to go right?

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

Don't hate me, but the "worried/sad/scared" Spidey cake is one I actually kinda like.

I'm so glad you mentioned the infectious skin disease for that last cake...yeah, it totally looks like boiled, blistered skin. EEEEEW!

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

OH OH OH...these are so sad. I'm also not gettin' the Ghostbuster's crossover thing with the gargoyle.

WV: expli...can anyone expli why these cakes are so awful?

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwolfmom

I know you probably have recieved your fair share of awards but I think your blog is fabulous and am passing on the fabulous blog award to you!

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February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

That CCC looks like Eric Stoltz in the movie "Mask"

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWillis Carrier

As soon as my 5 year-old saw the "sad" Spiderman, she asked me, "Is Spiderman sad? Why is he sad?"

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathyD

Seriously, that infectious disease cake makes me vomit a little.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

Cakes 2 and 3 totally look like aliens. The cake decorators should switch careers to the science fiction industry!

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February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Hello! I am new to your blog and I absolutely love it! Great job!!!

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecs

Wow, no way cake 2 (3rd pic) is pro..
really? I mean, how hard is it to do a Spider-man cake?
I've done Spider-man and a "Spider-Bear" and both look better than these "Professional" cakes.
Yikes.
Well at least I think so, and so did my Spider-man loving daughter.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKisa

wow...truly hard to believe these are 'professional' cakes. I made a Spidey cake ad I don't think he looked nearly this bad.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTara aka T

I love your posts! This is one of my favorites. I can't wait till the kids are big enough (like six or so) to realize how bad the cake is.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKrista Smith

Your website made me laugh so hard i cried. congrats. it's been a while since that's happened, and now my roommates think i'm insane.

:D

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercynthia

I love sad Spider-Man!! Too funny. And the huge chin on the CCC...it looks like Jay Leno is wearing the Spidey mask!

I heart you and your blog, Jen.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMamaZam

Regarding the horrid CCC...seems to me ole Spidy has the gout!

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy Leigh

Did anyone else notice the ON/OFF switch on the side of the gargoyle? I hate to imagine....

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllen

I am really tempted to submit some of my own wrecks...just to see what you would say. I mean, what decoratore hasn't had a wreck or two(or three, or...).

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizardbreath

What can I really say? SO funny! Poor Spidey.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdonna@stuffcookswant

I would like to adopt the melancholy Spider-Man cake. Is there a Sally Struther's toll-free number I can call to support it for just 50 cents a day?

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNancy B

I think the first gargoyle/spidy took a nosedive into the frosting, and didn't get cleaned off. It otherwise looks like the same bit of plastic flotsam that's on the last cake.

The CCC made me sigh. Why do decorators insist on skinning Spider-man's face? Why?!

wv,farffre: The Spider-man cakes are farffre from the mark.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRedd

It's not a skin inf...
oh nevermind.
It totally is.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterXOXO

I cannot tell you how much I enjoy your site. Besides the fact that the cakes are awful. Your 'remarks' are hilarious. Keep it up, Jenn, keep it up.

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeaLady

Emo spidey!

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

Cyberblue, in the decorator's defense, the cakes with the gargoyles are ALL DecoPac's fault. Trust me, I've seen the Spider-Man movies (even that horrendous Spider-Man 3 movie) and I would have given my star tip to not have to make one of these horrors ever again...but what the customer wants is what they get...even if it's awful...

And, honestly, at least on the first cake, that's pretty much what it's supposed to look like...minus the wavy "gutters" and the icing on Spidey...obviously the horrendously top-heavy "action figure" (whose only action is that the eyes on the gargoyle glow red...creepy much?) toppled over...if a decorator placed it on the cake instead of handing it to the customer in its packaging, shame on them...otherwise, it's really the customer's fault for crappy placement...

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchelizz

Love the Ghostbusters reference!!!

My son's birthday is next month, and we plan on getting a spiderman cake, and if it turns out like this at least I can have a sense of humor about it!

Wreck on!!!

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeigha G

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