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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb252009

Kids These Days

"They just grow up so fast." [wiping away tear]

"I mean, first Holly was asking for thongs for her 8th birthday, and now her very own Playboy-themed party at 12. Wow. Can you believe it? I'm just so...so... proud.

[blowing nose] "I mean, every parent wants her little girl to grow up dreaming big dreams, padding her trainer bra, and looking to attract men as a means of personal validation, but to see it actually happening...[sniffle] I'm sorry, it's just a dream come true. Why, in another 6 years she could even be on The Girls Next Door - not that I want to get her hopes up too much, of course; there's no telling how much longer Heff's gonna be around, after all.

"I know, right? It IS unbelievable. You know, the Smiths over there made their Jenny wait until she was sixteen to have her playmate party. Isn't that awful?


"I mean, geez, how stifling can some parents get? Although, to be fair, I hear they had a great pole-dancing instructor come in for the girls. In fact, I need to get that number for Holly's party, if you'll excuse me..."

Now, Karen P. & Sarah G., remember to keep everything in perspective: these cakes still aren't as bad as this one.

UPDATE: Apparently the prosti-tot pole-dancing class includes an age-inappropriate audience. Check it out, and don't miss all the priceless expressions on the kids in the crowd!

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Reader Comments (180)

Is it possible that it wasn't ordered by a parent? Maybe (at least the 16-year one) was ordered by a friend, not the parents?

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermoondawn

Such high hopes for such young girls. How will they ever live up to their parents expectations? I suspect the breast implant surgery is already booked for their 18th birthdays too!

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMs Unreliable

Hannah said: "I find Playboy to be empowering for women. Whether you like those careers or not, Playboy bunnies are extremely successful career women. They're making more money than any of you will probably ever see. They have a lot of power, a lot of fun, and hey, they're gorgeous. More power to them."

My response to you Hannah is simply this: Define Success.

Mine does not include taking off my clothes for money regardless of the amount.

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Isn't it possible these cakes were not ordered by the parents. Friends,perhaps? Just a thought. Still this is ridiculous.

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Tuldas... Hmmm a logo is just a logo?? Sorry i wouldn't let my daughters have this cake (because its cute) any more then I would let my sons get a Marlboro Man cake (because he's cool!)

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Not surprised, actually. You'd be shocked at how obsessed young girls are with Playboy (I have a coworker whose goal in life is to be a bunny. That's it.)

February 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYotan

Come on maybe these people just love the show the girls next door which is pretty tame if you ask me... some people are so uptight about nudity these days and out of all the magazines out there playboy is by far the classiest

March 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Oh boy...

When I was a young girl there was a supermarket that had a sticker vending machine. One of the stickers was the Playboy symbol. I didn't know what it meant, I thought it was just a cute bunny. I bought some with my own quarters. My mom was pretty upset, but she let me keep them and stick them on the doors of the house. :P

When I was 7, I actually looked at my brother's Playboy magazines out of curiousity.

Guess what? I didn't start wearing revealing clothes at age 12. I didn't start putting out at 14. Hell, I'm 21 and I'm still a virgin (not entirely by choice, mind you... *grumble*).

I guess the point of this story is that the bunny symbol... hell, the magazine itself, will probably not warp their minds. It didn't warp mine. I will say I was probably naturally smarter than most girls, but anyway... As for sexualization of children... What can I say? Girls that age do want to look pretty for boys, you probably did too at that age. Companies are trying to cater to that, but they are going WAY too far. ("Porn star" shirts are tacky at any age.)

March 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Go look around stores, the logo is on many things, and many of the people who buy them buy just for the logo, and detest the company itself."

Sorry, no. Even though others have made the same point better than I, I still have to comment.

If you buy something "just for the logo", you're supporting that company and its agenda as surely as any of its committed fans.
Money is money, and it doesn't care how it comes into someone's hands.
Telling a young woman, overtly or covertly, that her sexuality is all that makes her valuable is so prevalent, and so sad.

(Yes, I was one of those horrible party poopers who thought that baby dolls in thongs and sexy clothes were...gasp!...inappropriate! How conservative, and judgmental, and all that.)

Word verification: scersin. Huh.

March 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercygirlkat

Maybe, maybe, maybe the parents wanted cakes with Happy Bunny & got this instead because the bakery was clueless? Happy Bunny seems to appeal a LOT to girls that age.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdissimilitude

Maybe it was supposed to be 21st and they messed up....I hope.
~Hillary

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yowza.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChelle

There is a boy in Britain that was 12 years old when he impregnated his 15 year old girlfriend. Now they have a baby to raise.

Gosh, wonder how that happened????

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

AAGGH! First off--scary! Second, WHY did Playboy have to go and make such a DARN CUTE LOGO stand for something so... uh... you know. Anyway, if it didn't mean that I would be PLASTERED with that cute lil' bunny.

word verification: rebolure; Jenny was a real rebolure, as she rebelled against her parents (they wanted to hold the Playboy party off a LITTLE longer.) AND managed to lure some young boys @ the party to the pole-dancing lesson.

May 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShawty

Hello, My name is Kat.

This is the first time a cake wrecks has made me cry.

I am 20 years old, and when I was sixteen, I went around to my boyfriends house and he was naked, on the couch, with a hooker in playboy underwear. (I knew she was a hooker, guys, cause she told him it would cost more if I joined in) then, after he noticed me, standing in the doorway with my school uniform, he told me that if I had put out, and was beautiful like the women in the playboy magazines, he wouldn't have to do this sort of thing. I spent five years trying to make myself beautiful, treating myself like crap, and finally spent six months in a mental institute in NZ where they force you to eat and regulate your water.

I am still recovering, with my current boyfriend. We look at the old vintage playboy mags, the ones with the georgeous, less exposed curvy women, back when they thought that when the models wore underwear it was more sexually mysterious. I gotta tell you, those women were hot, not like the top-heavy stick figures you get today.

Anyway, when I went to the pool the other day, with my class, I noticed two pregnant girls in their last year of primary school. I couldn't help staring. They noticed, and yelled at me, saying that I was going to waste my life, not having direction, and they were going to be moms, and make a difference.

I got owned by twelve year olds. :(

Later, in my five year old class, we had news (Where a child brings an item from home) and one little boy had bought in a car magazine, with a two page centrefold playboy ad. We had to speak to the parents, but boy, what a kick in the metaphorical balls!

I do not agree with the people who say the symbol does not change children, of course it does. Something with such a strong message it impossible to ignore.

I have no problem with adults getting naked with their partners, but taking money to let hundreds objectify you and all women? That is not success. I am happy a a teacher, and I have to try and undo the damage teenage parents inflict on their children. For a long time I could not earn money, and I still did not give up my principles to dance or pose naked.

But maybe that's just me. Maybe I should give up and let the wave of obsessive over sexuality take our children.

At least the cakes are well made. Mmm, Cake.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

happy 12th birthday!.. surely a typo :S

June 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdance teacher

In all fairness, I'm HOPING that Holly said. "Mom, for my birthday cake, can it have a picture of a bunny on it?" and her mom went and google bunny on google, and found the image without bothering to look for what it stood for , gave it to the baker. Believe it or not, a lot of people don't know what it means. For example: I couldn't remember the name of a Gameboy. So I searched playboy (I got the 'game' and 'play' confused), and only then did I find out what it was. So there is a good chance that the first one was a bunny cake gone wrong.
or maybe the mom said to the baker, "....a bunny cake" and the baker, 9who was extreme;y perverted or himself did the innocent googling) chose whatever bunny that he thought looked cute.
But the second one is just appalling. I can only hope that it was the girls FRIENDS playing a joke. Or maybe it's just her friends who are sexually explicit, and decided she would like it. Either way...APPALLING!

January 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

look good enough to eat to me! do seem a little wrong though

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfunny t shirt

I find it incredibly ironic that the add on the right of my screen when I read this today was for a Holly Madison Movie (She was one of the original Girls Next Door)I think that made me laugh more than the original hilarious post.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteralspencer

this is exactly why i ride horses
horses have kept me out of so much trouble, mostly because i have better things to do than this, like feeding my 1,000 pound animal and obsessing over every single aspect of her daily care

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPaigley

The sad thing is, when I was in second grade I went to an 8-year old's birthday party where her mother gave her a thong that was "just like her older sisters."

July 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The cake was well made??? Gimme a break. Any company that would agree to make a sexualized symbol w/inscription meant for a young girl is far from proffesional. That's the wreckage. The only funny thing is that they are stupid enough to take ownership in some way for this garbage.

August 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have a comment to Tuldas regarding that it is "just a logo." I just ran across this website today. (Love it by the way!)

As far as Playboy only being a logo and that it is only a symbol and nothing more, that is not true.

You said that you had a girlfriend that loved the logo but hated what it stood for (she thought the logo was cute) but she hated that she had to explain that she didn't want to be a whore...

Obviously, then, the logo DOES SYMBOLIZE something to a lot of people, otherwise your friend wouldn't have to explain herself.

Marketers are paid a lot of money to come up with logos and logos are copyrighted and protected for a reason. They have equity built into them.

Logos SYMBOLIZE and ignite a feeling, thought, reaction, or even action in some cases. They are not just lines or graphics or cartoons.

Nike, McDonalds, Apple Computers, Mercedes, Pepsi, they all have symbols that we would recognize without the company name next to them.

But like Playboy's symbol, some symbols create strong feelings other than just marketing:

The Cross: To most it automatically means Christianity and salvation. And yet, a few (the KKK) could turn it around and burn it as a warning filled with hate.

The Swastika: This combination of lines put in a certain pattern usually means hate, murder, oppression and the holocaust. But to a few, it means new order and would wear this symbol proudly.

So Tuldas, it would be naive to think that logos are merely "cute symbols." They are designed with a PURPOSE. Individuals may choose to view them as they wish, but as a general population, the logo's purpose is intentional, otherwise it serves no purpose. An individual may choose to personalize a logo but it does not lessen its intention.

And the Playboy Playmate's logo intention is it symbolizes that women are sexual playmates for men who identify themselves as a BOYS who still play and have not grown up to become men yet. It's that simple.

Elizabeth

August 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth Maxson

Its only a cake people, catch a grip. xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, the baker who decorated Holly's cake was dyslexic and meant "Happy 21st Birthday".

Not that it really makes it that much better.

(Blech.)

October 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm 11 and I was thinking that i might get a cake with a rabbit on it for my next birthday...I really hope I don't get that.

February 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Good Lord... that was disturbing.. I may never get that vision out of my head.. oh well it can replace the vision of my uncle pete on the toilet.. YAY

July 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow. Freakishly inappropriate! Wish I had time to read all these comments, because some of them are cracking me up! I wouldn't buy one of these cakes for my 25 year old, let alone a kid!

July 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertechgator

Playboy is EMPOWERING to women? Not in the slightest. You must be a man. I find it very VERY degrading to women everywhere. As far as my personal experiences, I had a boyfriend buy me a Playboy purse for Christmas when I was 16. I was embarrassed to even own the thing and then he asked me why I didn't carry it around. I used it a couple times to make him happy, but it was not a symbol I wanted to affiliate myself with at all. That was 3 years ago. No, I'm not married & I'm not a virgin, but I don't think sex & your nude body is something that should be flaunted everywhere. It really sickens me that men eat that up.

July 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSavy

there good but not to good

March 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrebecca derf

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