My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Head Check

How are you feeling today? Good? Not, for example, dizzy, light-headed, or nauseous? [checking clipboard] Or how about stabbing pains in the temple - any of those? No?

[scribbling note] Good, good. Alright then, everything seems to be in order! You may proceed.

Do not adjust your screen. The dizziness will pass. Eventually.

Take deep breaths. Remember, the bathroom is right down the hall.

Oooo, what a feeling! The cake is on the ceiling! And I'm totally reeling!

No, seriously; looking at this photo is making me sea-sick. I can't even manage a scathing remark about the misspelling or wonky left-justified spacing; my head just hurts too much.

Richelle and Jenna D., pass the Tylenol, will ya?

« Wreck-Slingers, Part 2 | Main | Tensed Up »

Reader Comments (124)

Dangit... there goes the eye left over from the lava blood raceway CCC orange disaster....

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTornadoBaby

Holy Crap. That last cake was high-larious. I seriosuly couldn't help myself there.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah P.

uggg, thanks for the hangover

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

That first cake makes me think of those 3d posters, like we need to look for the hidden image... And I LOVE the last one.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

What in the heck is the "ceiling" cake about? The other 2 are just ghastly, but the last one really got to me.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My retna are burning. If you look at the cake and then look at a white wall, you can see the contrary color.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

make it stop.

Please be careful ... if you were to be arrested for negligence in your triggering of various readers' migraines and/or seizures ... we would have no more Cake Wrecks to make us smile.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbeckiwithani

I couldn't decide whether to spew my coffee or run for the gravol.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarieA

That last one actually made me dizzy. Excuse me while I go find the Pepto. Oh my stomach!!!

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, my!


[Gryphon changes glasses] Nope, still horrible; even the third cake is not enhanced by the horror movie camera angle. And one wonders who the HOURGLASS AND THE POISONED PEN are.

wv: beack - the noise I made after viewing cake 2.

;^) Jan the Gryphon

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergryphondear

Thats too funny! I really do have a head cold, and it hurts to look at these!
-Jenoa O.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*tilts head*

*tilts head again*

Nothing makes sense.


February 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkarmapearl

Yeah, those didn't help my raging headache any....unless those were made exactly as they were requested I can't believe any rational cake decorator looked at them when finished and said "that looks good, I think I'm finished".

WVOTD: acept...I acept that there are some really bad cakes in the world, but I don't have to buy them.

~Colleen (

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyberrblue (Colleen)

The first incredible example of airbrushed neon (!) plaid is just about what I see when a migraine is coming on. I think my left arm just went numb...

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEl Comodoro

Wow. Just wow. I think that I have sprained my retinas. Ouch.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

I really really don't get the hourglass and poison pen thing. A Shakesperean reference? Anyone?
Jenn W

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Yes, Richele, HAPPY BELATED BITCHDAY!!! We hope you vomit plaid icing.

And what is up with all these flowers lately? Is symmetry REALLY that difficult?

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Ah... once again cake #2 displays the scribble string cake. The hallmark of the cake decorator with absolutely no cake decorating skills or talent what-so-ever!

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Alright.... Who barfed up the psychodelic cell phone CCC from the other day? I told you to not eat that whole thing at once. This is what happens.

WV: usses... Usses that's a cool looking cake. I ask what are you smokin'?

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

The first two are just sad. It's the third one that worries me. The bakery is obviously a front. By their clever misdirections of poor spelling and spacing, they are trying to prevent you from reading down the left edge...

It's a ploy to secure sacrifices for Cthapp, much neglected little brother to Cthulhu (who gets all the good sacrifices, darn him). By eating this cake, the unsuspecting people will be marked for death to bring greater glory to this nearly forgotten Old One. Beware!

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPaul E

Holy crap y'all...

I really need glasses. I thought #1 was a Burberry plaid purse, #2 was a Jackson Pollack painting, and #3 was an elevator panel.

Wrong again.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

No kidding the first one and ceiling cake both made me a little nauseous. I'm glad you did a pre-viewing physical check or I may have been in some trouble!

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCassykins

Okay, seriously, I think that all grocery store decorators need to be banned from using the airbrush. No, really.

And that last one? Is there ANY story behind it? It's so bizzare.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Give me that pen. I want to stab myself in the eye with it.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

If this:

is what "The Hourglass and the Pointed Pen" refers to, I have to say that the lame roses don't reflect it well...

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So I had to look up "The Hourglass and the Poisoned Pen." Interesting.

"When Superheroes, live theater and tap dancing collide, the result is Chicago Tap Theatre's Hourglass and the Poisoned Pen. With moments of intense action, irresistable humor and heartfelt emotion, this is the show that proves that tap dance is the perfect medium for theatrical expression..."

Is the picture of the cake just upside-down?

The second cake is missing something. Something that would make it complete. Oh, yeah...CLOWNS!

Or maybe just Rip Taylor with an empty bucket.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

My head is spinning

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

Wow...those do make you dizzy..and wonder about humanity...

wv diessef: my self dies just a little every time I see cakes like the last one

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

The Hourglass and Poisoned Pen is, according to one website, a "Superhero Tap Dance Opera." It has apparently played in Chicago and New York, from a quick look at Google. What that has to do with a cake on the ceiling and bad spelling/spacing, I have no idea.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathy R.

Congradulation! A wreck is you!

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersmcn

Too bad we tossed out our 3-D glasses from the Superbowl. Those would come in handy for cake number one, although I'm not sure I want to see that coming at me!!!

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Oh jeez, I just got new glasses this morning and am adjusting, then looking at the top cake, I'm definitely screwed for the day.

I need some Advil...

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, the first one? It's spring!

Angie (from over at

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Apparently the reference is to some kind of musical...

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My eye is twitching now...

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStefanie


seriously why????

my only ideas are #1 is a Pink Floyd Cake, nooooo freaking clue about #2 its just plain UGLY... and maybe #3 is a Alice in Wonderland cake?


WV:surieses: The eye disease brought on by cake wrecks.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTheDitzyQueen

Yike! I really do feel sick looking at those.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

Well, at least Pete got sprinkles ...

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

Whew. Psychedelic, dude!
Too much crap on too small a space.
The last one should've been a sheet cake; that way they could've at least spaced the lettering out more.

WV: "knowb" Sounds like someone has a cold. "My knowb id tuffy". LOL

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

What I would like to know is, who the heck puts the plastic balloons on the cake before they finish frosting it?? Notice the blue....uh...streamer running right across the top of one of the plastic balloons on the right. Is that to give it an even more realistic 3-D effect? *snickers*

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

I just can't fathom how a decorator looks at their work and thinks any of those look GOOD!

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiz's all the more horrible because I have a headache. I thought one of the cakes said "happy birthday pee"

wvotd...cowersi...the inability to spell and or hyphenation words correctly.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

Figured out the last one:

Still doesn't make it right, though.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just checking the 'net and that last cake may refer to - get this - a comic book, superhero, tap-dance production by the Chicago Tap Theater.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I dunno. Worked like the hair of the dog for me.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrixie

That second cake, the horror. As if plastic balloons from the early 90's weren't enough, they threw in the blobs of frosting to pass it off as a more festive cake. Then, in an attempt to coordinate with the balloon blobs, they put the name in blobs...pukey, ugly, blobs.

The last cake with that poison pen deal, reminds me of the poison bon bon cake.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShawna

Wow. Jen, you have really outdone yourself today. A virtual grab-bag of poor layout, bad handwriting and incompetent airbrushing, all layered with horrible color combinations that make the eyes bleed. I think you may be approaching critical mass of wrecktitude. Careful: goggles and hardhats may be required!

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Wow, at first I thought you were kidding but now my eyeballs hurt a little and my head is pulsing. It reminds me of the time I watched Raiders of the Lost Ark with a friend of mine and we rewound the melting eyeballs part at the end over and over until it made us sick.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

I have a migraine now....thanks.

February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid and Taryn

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