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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Apr062009

An Easterly Wind is Blowing

It's coming, my friends. Already bakeries are rolling out the pastel dipped confections, the marshmallow Peeps, and lots and lots of adorable, fluffy-looking little...

Whoah. My bad, Mr. Angry, I thought you were someone else. Hey, no need to get your carrot all bent out of shape there; we were just leaving. C'mon, guys.

[walking backwards] As I was saying, bakeries are ramping up the cuteness quotient with plenty of floppy-eared darlings like thi...

Yow! Aw, dude, you shouldn't jump out at people like that! Uh, and you've got a little something on your face there... No, no, you can hardly tell. Really.

Anyway, I'm telling you guys, there really are tons of sweet hippity-hoppity hares infiltrating the bakeries! Just give me another second to find one...

Ah! Here we go:


[Psycho shower-scene music]

Aaaiiieee! It's Lemon Lips, the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! He's got a vicious streak a mile wide - he's a killer! I knew I should have packed the Holy Hand Grenade this morning...

Well, if you'll all join me in running away this direction, we can continue our quest for the cutesy bunnies.

[staring wide-eyed]

Uh.

Right, I give up. Quest over. Hope you all enjoyed your time here today. Kindly exit through the gift shop...

Aviva, Rosie L., Amy D., & Kristin J., this one's for you:

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Reader Comments (150)

Wow. That second one looks like what would happen if someone turned Le Chiffre from Casino Royale into a bunny.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarauder

omg hahahaha! this has got to be the funniest cake wreck post for me!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterneenuh

"I've got a theory, it could be bunnies...

Bunnies aren't cute like everybody supposes
They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies! Bunnies, it must be bunnies!

Or maybe midgets?"

I'm starting to think Anya was right to be afraid of bunnies....

WV--urcul:
*high-pitched, nasal voice*
"Did I do that?"

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBuffy

Love the reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail. That's a hilarious movie!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I'm sure that scene must have inspired the Moloko song Killa Bunny...

'Filthy, fluffy creatures.
Teeth as sharp as knives.
The long-eared ones are coming,
Run, run, run,
For your lives.'

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

But isn't Bunny #4 (Lemon Lips) actually an attack Panda? They breed them for ferocity, in a secret training facility in China...

Those are some Sorry Bunnies.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermadrobins

Ah, Lemon lips looks like those things on the Ladders commercials haha

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYour Waitress

Those are awesome. Great writing, too.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

Oh the poor little bleeding eyed bunny! Other than that it would have been a really cute cake. Oh the horror!
We saw some real bunnies in our yard yesterday....they were really cute....eating the grape hyacinths......

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

Is it just me, or does the CC thing look like the evil gremlins thing? You know, the one that mutates when you add water after dark (or whatever it was, it's been a while). And bleeding bunny is just representing the sacrifice that started the whole thing, don't ya know... It's just a flesh wound.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Dotson-Thomson

That ain't no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever laid eyes on! That rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!

(Run away! Run away!)

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRecoveringActor

Um, yeah. Looks as if these guys went went swimming in a toxic waste pool before they went hoppin' down the Bunny Trail.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Hey that CCC reminded me of the space monkey Penny used to have as a pet on Lost In Space.

Yeah, I'm old.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci Harris

Mister Angry Cake,
Attacked by caterpillars,
Guards right-angled root.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Buffy's right. I almost forgot about Anya and the bunnies.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkat79

The Easter Bunny always frightened me. This just confirms it. *runs far away*

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

That last one there looks like he has a blue-tipped match stuck up his nose.

Ok, these bunnies make the one I submitted to you look like the cuddliest Easter Bunny that ever was.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChatty Cathy

The cupcake cake looks like a rabit gremlin!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBreeAnn

Didn't anyone else think of Donnie Darko?

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMar Calpena

You really have a knack for bringing back fond memories (ahhh, the days of skipping school). I love this blog.

"...And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ..."

BWAAAHAHAHAA!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwebiegal

"Run away! Run away!"

Thanks for the M.P. laugh.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

Hahahaha! Thanks for the good laughs again. Oh lordy.

Anya from Buffy would be feeling very justified in her terror.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh how I love you, Cake Wrecks.
Yeah.... bleeding eyes bunny.... *shudder*

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarmen Keys

I'm getting a few odd looks. I'm sitting in my law school library (read: silence is to be maintained at all costs) and I'm silently laughing so hard I'm crying. Lemon Lips could be the new Naked Mohawk Baby Carrot Jockeys for me, I can't look at it without cracking up!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChasing a life

Gosh, the perfect Easter cakes for your neighbourhood exorcist..! Yikes.

~Amy B.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Poor bunnies! Really, Easter fare is all ready a bit strange, what with peeps and those wretched eggs stuffed with lemon-colored shortening. These mangled bunnies need to be put out of their misery -- calling PETA!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Austerity Kitchen

the white bunny withe bleeding eyes looks like it might be the rabbit from Monty Python's Holy Grail!
Freaky ugliness~

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Umm...Lemon Lips has a poo-belly.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterToonces

The very first comment on here does mention that rabbits aren't rodents, they're lagomorphs (the difference is that rodents only have one set of front teeth, while lagomorphs, such as the rabbit, hare, and pika, have another set immediately behind their front teeth). But. It's a "Monty Python" reference! BOO YEAH!

Jen, Jen, Jen...I am firmly convinced that you and I would make wonderful RL friends. You know what a TARDIS is, what a stargate is, and you're quoting one of the best movies ever, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." If you weren't married and I wasn't entirely heterosexual, I'd ask you to marry me.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFoxTrottinKate

That third one (the CCC) looks to me more like a star wars wampa...

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLogan

They need to stop cross-breeding bunnies and monkeys. The bunkies have got to go!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVanilla

Is it possible the first one is upside down? I tried looking at it that way and it made 0.003% more sense.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCallisto

Oh my. These are the wrabbits nightmares are made of.

(Petting the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog gently, fangs pointed away from chest)

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

Perhaps the bleeding bunny is the killer bunny from Monty Python? So cute and fluffy until he decides to POUNCE!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeaches1111_00

Whoa! I'm so happy that cake picture was 'wrecky' enough! Love your blog!! :)

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAviva

* bloodcurdling scream *

AHHHHHHHH! the evil demented monster bunnies are coming to devour us all!
lemon-lips is more of a gremlin than a bunny, he seriously looked deranged!!!!!! and that last one looked like a drunken celebrity was trying to make it, eugh!!!!!!!!! and that bleeding one is disturbing, like easter bunnies gone HORRIBLY wrong.... *shudder *

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheesy Ninja

You know, the first one looks more like it's pooping the carrot than it being a specific bit of male anatomy. I'm not sure which is worse. No, wait...poop is worse, marginally.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

I agree with Jasry up there. The bleeding-eye bunny reminds me Watership Down, and that's not the way to make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterManda

#2 is the "I-won't-be-ignored-Fatal-Attraction" Cake. For those oh so special occasions.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersabrinasmom

Mar Calpena ~ I was totally thinking the same thing...especially with Bunny #2 up there...bleeding eye looks just like Frank's!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

Poor white bunny, he obviously escaped from the L'Oreal makeup testing laboratory.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

"But now I feel sick in the head from the Bunny...."

From VeggieTales The Bunny Song

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJuliana

Am trying to figure out why Angry Bunny Cake #1 is so upset--he's got a ton of spring-y looking sprinkles. (Plus a couple plastic flowers.) No need to get your carrot all bent out of shape!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Look everybody! It's tonight's nightmare features! Run away, run away, run away...

As usually, the cakes are awesomely bad. Thanks!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia

ok kiddies - can anyone say "myxomatosis"?

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersmauge

nightmares. I'm already having nightmares. Did that one have (gulp) razor sharp claws, or was it... nope, those were razor sharp claws.

nightmares.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersj

the CCC "rabbit" reminds me of Frank in Donnie Darko...Perfect for the kids after the Easter egg hunt!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have to wonder if that second bunny came from Australia?? These weirdo things are everywhere here & most of them have bleeding eyes like that EWWW!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Sam said...bleeding eye bunny looks like an escapee from an animal testing lab. but they're all pretty scary!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Love the blog! My two year just said, "That's scar-wee!" and my six year old asked, "Who would eat that?" From the mouths of babes!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdouberlyfamily

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