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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
May122009

Happy Birthday to Meeee!

GUESS WHAT?!?

It's muh birfday.

Awwww yeeeeaaah.

Now, I could celebrate by taking a cruise:

(A really really short one.)

Or by getting myself a new pair of...shoes:


Or go the traditional route and just get schnockered on booze sprinkles:

(After which I will apparently choke on ribbon and die. Hm. Ok, maybe not.)

And yet, all of those options (particularly the last one) pale in comparison to how I'm going to celebrate my birthday. How's that, you ask? Well, allow me to tell you...in song.

Hit it, Bobby!

[cranking up Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack]

"Too hot to handle, to cold to hold,
my name is Jen Yates and it's my birthday, yo!
So I'm throwin' a party, virtually speaking,
And I've got amazing news so please keep reading.
Now pack up your group, get a grip, come equipped,
Go pre-order lots of my book and then split!"

[music screeching to a halt] Of course I mean "split" in the ice-cream-eating way, not the hike-taking way - but you knew that, right?

And did you catch the big shocking news*, or were my sweet rhymes too dazzling for you? (*Granted, it's not quite as shocking for you Twits, since I inadvertently leaked it last week...) Yep, that's right: Cake Wrecks the book is now available for pre-order! Can we take a moment to savor that bit of sweet insanity?

[savoring] Mmmm. Yeah. That's the stuff.

Now, since I know how absolutely terrible you must feel over not getting me a birthday present - or even a card! You bum! - may I suggest a way to alleviate that burden? Buy yourself a gift. The gift... [cuing Hallmark music] of laughter:

(NOTE: This is NOT the final cover. Check back at 12 pm EST to vote for the cover you like best!)

[announcer voice] Yes, that's right! You'll get this lovely 6x8 hardcover edition of Cake Wrecks, When Professional Cake Go Hilariously Wrong, with over 19o pages of new Wreckage, fan favorites, behind-the-scenes commentary from Jen, reader stories, cakey controversies, and much, much more, all for the low price of $12.99! What a deal!

Why pre-order today? I'll give you seven good reasons:

7. It costs a heckuva lot less than a CW t-shirt.
6. It makes me look good.
5. Buy one for all your friends, and your Christmas shopping is done.
4. You'll get the book automatically shipped to you as soon as it's released.
3. High volumes of pre-orders somehow factor in to the mysterious industry formula that lands titles on best-sellers lists. Is that a lofty goal? Sure it is. So loft with me, darlings.
2. Every single order will give me a personal warm fuzzy. And it's my birthday, so today's the best time to send me warm fuzzies.

And the number one reason to pre-order Cake Wrecks today? (drum-roll, please.)

1. The Carrot Jockeys command you!

Wrecky World Domination, here they come! ;)

You can order Cake Wrecks: When Professional Cakes Go Hilariously Wrong from Barnes & Noble, Borders, or Amazon. (And as a bonus, both Barnes & Noble and Amazon are now offering impressive discounts off the cover price.) So what are you waiting for? Do it! Do it NOW!!

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Reader Comments (201)

HAPPY BURFDAAAY!! Enjoy the cakey goodness coming your way and for the love of God don't eat the plastic baby!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Happy happy birthday!! (I personally hope you get your own baby jockey cake with some horrible writing on it!)

I hope it's a great one :)

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLatte With Me

Happy Birthday!

I've never commented before, but I thought that now would be an appropriate time to express my appreciation for this site. I check it every day (and it's thus left in the history of many a school computer), and it never fails to make me laugh, or grin at the very least. It's one of my favorite sites to show to other people, and I'd love to both own and gift the book.

I also find that my craving for icing-bedecked baked goods has greatly increased over the last six months.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Happy Birthday Jen!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecs

That's Awesome! Today is my b-day as well. Happy Birthday to us! There must be something about our sign that brings us to the love of sugary confections. Have a great one!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIndy

It's My Birthday too!! Happy Birthday all you May 12th girls!

Sarah

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Hey, it's my birthday too!!! And I did a post on my own blog with the very same title, extra "e"s and everything.

"HapY" BrifthDay (in pink)

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

Jen, Cara, 2slippers, and Lani's husband -- it's my birthday, too!!! Happy Birthday to us all. Looking forward to the book, Jen. :)

Chantal

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEN!!!

Just wondering, what exactly is on the sprinkly, ribbony cake behind the passed out pink elephant? Looks like a pile of something! EWWW.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

Happy Birthday, Jen!
May the inscription on your cake be spelled right, may your icing balloons never swim in a circle, and here's hoping it's not a CCC. (*Patooey*)

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPB and Jam

okay, that boob job cake is spectacular. I keep stealing the wrecks I like and doing them myself...now if only I could find someone getting some work done...

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky B

oh! did I miss the part that says it's your birthday? clearly! hope it was a great one!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky B

well it was between the book and "Happy Falker Satherhood" t-shirt... my bank account won and I went with the book :) but soon I will work a double shift and order the t-shirt!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

1. happy birthday (woo!)
2. i may never forgive you for that bobby brown video link.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermisha

It's my birthday too! That's weird. I was just wishing that you could've made mention to my birthday with a spectacularly bad wreck.

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

Happy Birthday! Is that elephant poop?

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIda

OH MY GOODNESS! THESE ARE THE BIRTHDAYS OF THE PEOPLE THAT I KNOW:

MALENA LOZANO
NATALIA GUERRERO
JEN YATES!!!

HOW FREAKY!!!!

THREE BIRTHDAY GIRLS THAT I KNOW?!?!?!?!?!?

HAPPY BIRTHDAYSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica Sandoval

It's my birthday too!! Yay - we should all celebrate by having....wait for it....cake!!!!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulienne

THIS is the cover you should use on your book, for reals!

May 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

Hope your day was as fun as the wrecks you find! Congrats on the book.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Happy Birthday to you and ME TOO!!! 1975

Thanks for all your 80s theme cake nostalgia.

Thanks for your blog, I know that I can always turn to you when I need a good laugh.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNapkin's Family

It a gril! Uh, I mean, hope it was happy-- and that we'll get to see your cake!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

I think I would chose the "I Want Sprinkles" cake, or one of the wedding cakes (the tartan plaid, or the Tiffany's boxes) as opposed to one of the others. Chewy and the doll don't look enough like cake, the Under Neat That cake takes too long to read and get the joke to catch a shopper's eye. I work in a bookstore, and I think that unless I featured any of those books in a staff pick display, they wouldn't sell well just from the cover.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

Happy birthday! the first cake is just fine but the second cake is just too kinky (for adults only!)
and the third is just as cute as the 1st one..good luck on the book!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCris

Happy birthday!

And that's what I was talking about in the book cover post! That cover is *perfect*.

It's the one I would vote for.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBJ

A belated Happy Birthday to you, and congratulations on the book. Not even going to try to come up with creative misspellings there--the accidental ones done in frosting are way funnier.

Wow, I've been following this blog for a year now. How time flies when you're having fun.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSleepwalker

Hey I kind of like the freaky cruise ship.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

It's my birthday too! I heard only really awesome people are born on May 12th.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

A day late, I know, but happy birthday! :) Hope it was a good one! :)

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

It was also my birthday! Yay for May 12th-ers!!!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTamar

Happy HAPPY birthday hugs from north of the border (that's Canada folks!)
Linda in Toronto
PS. Your book will be a huge success! You'll have to pay someone to watch over Cake Wrecks while you are travelling around the world with CW-Fest 2009!
Here's to mega sprinkles today!!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinda B

Hope it was a great day! Although as a fan of the English language, I must say that there is a problem with the phrase "to cold to hold"...

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

It was my birthday, too! I hope you had a great one, as your blog never ceases to brighten my day! Happy Birthday, Birthday Buddy!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

Well, I'll go ahead and order since the carrot jockeys are COMMANDING me to. Must listen to carrot jockeys. Must listen to carrot jockeys....

Happy belated birthday, and congrats on the book! I can't wait to get it!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMe

last one! last one!
oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterashley

Happy Belated Birthday Jen! :)

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

omg omg omg
it's my bday too!!!!!!!!!!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFull.Moon

Well rock me, I'm a Danish!
\m/(><)\m/
This makes me ridiculously happy. Hooray book!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJustAGirl

A Cake Wrecks calendar would be awesome!!! (2010 maybe??????)

Happy Birthday!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

My vote is the the "under Neat that cake" since it was the one that started it all.

May 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

you and your husband are both nuts... as in goofy.crack me up

May 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Borders has a discount too!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterzophtic

Happy birthday. I ordered 3 to get the free shipping. I figure, who won't want one for christmas?

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrankyOtter

How exciting! I feel compelled to point out that the book is also available through independent booksellers as well, via Indie Bound (http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780740785375).

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Are the books being sold in Barnes 'n Nobles, not just online?

May 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjelloegg

WHY WHY!!!! WHY DID THEY KILL THE PRITTY PINK ELAFONT (i spell badly)
but really WHY what has the elafont been doing? (que the scary music)

May 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKoala Kiwi

oh. my. gosh. I just found your site thanks to www.theatre-illuminata.com/contest2 and my life jsut got better. It's hilarious! thanks a bunch for existing hahahahaha

May 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiane Kneeland

Best part about the Amazon option for purchase is finding out that "Customers buy this book with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance - Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem! by Jane Austen"

Nothing says "cake wrecks" like Zombie Jane Austen books.

May 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBev Sykes

Happy birthday! And I'm with Tracy O: sprinkle drinks for everyone! A shout out to your blog and my newly purchased I WANT SPRINKLES t-shirt: http://betweenjobstheblog.blogspot.com/2009/05/jury-duty.html

May 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPam Bellemare

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