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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
May132009

Gothic Miss

You guys keep asking for 'em, so who am I to deprive you of some rich schadenfreude?

What the bride wanted:

Personally I think the dripping ganache thing looks a little Sylar-esque, but it turns out that's intentional; the happy couple planned to use a Corpse Bride topper, and so wanted an elegant Gothic vibe.

Instead, they got more of a dumpy glazed-doughnut vibe:


[snickering] I'm sorry, but I think I'm in love with this photo. As you scroll down, first you see the incredulous expression on the bride's face (she's the one in green), and then...THE WRECK. Hah! Hoo boy, that's good stuff. In fact, I've been amusing myself by picturing a little thought bubble over her head, and filling in the blanks*. Hehheheh.

Fortunately she didn't let it ruin her big day, though: you can read the bride's account of everything on her blog here.

And here's a better view of the Wreckage:

Niiiice. That chocolate looks positively...crinkly. On the (literal) bright side, though, the blindingly reflective "rose leaves" prevented any of the guests from looking directly at the cake. See, Christiana M.? There's a silver lining to everything!

*But why should I have all the fun? Give me your best caption in the comments. The one that makes John giggle 'til he snorts wins!

« Chuck Norris, Bakery Defender | Main | Happy Birthday to Meeee! »

Reader Comments (256)

I don't have a witty bubble caption, but I love how the droop in all of the onlookers' shoulders echoes the droopy-looking chocolate glaze, er, ganache.

Word verification: requo. The bride wanted a requo on the cake price after seeing the final result.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmmm, for the bubble I'd put "Well if the cake is going to look that dumpy I'm just going to leave these curlers in my hair!" Love the site. Keep up the great work!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy H.

My caption for the bride:
"You have GOT to be kidding me! This is SO going to end up on 'Cake Wrecks Missed Marks'! Revenge is sweet when the whole world is involved."

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Caption...."WTF?!!!!"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVashti

Really, I know it is not funny or anything, but the only thing she could have been thinking was "WTF!"
No way around it, that is the only thing she could have been thinking.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WHY WHY WHY do these women NOT look at the baker's previous work before they order a WEDDING cake?? Wouldnt there be some indication that they would not be able to pull off the dripping ganache? or a stacked cake? OMG reflective leaves??? Who ARE these people!! My head is spinning, I need to sit down!

Meow!
http://kitty-cakes.blogspot.com/

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterROYALTY

Bridesmaid: ( trying to be helpful) Maybe if you look at it like this... ( puts hand on hip and cocks head slightly)...ummmmm...nope!

Brides mother: maybe if I took off my glasses....( removes glasses) ...ummm....nope!

Bride....ummmm...nope!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

"Guys, I'm gonna barf." (the question remains of whether that would be an improvement)

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

The bride looks stunned and you can't blame her. The cake isn't really a wreck it's just a huge fail.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNanners

"Ma, this is why I said we should go somewhere other than the Stop & Shop bakery."

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJErich-Oh's

I don't have a caption but it looks like they flattened tootsie rolls with a roller to make the top!
tina

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertwinklescrapbooks

I generally don't comment on the blogs I follow, but a caption contest is just too good to pass up. =)

Bride-to-be: "Mark? Who let Fluffy throw up on the table again?"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRin K.

I think she is thinking
"now there is gonna be a REAL corpse"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCottagecheap

Personally, I'm in love with the mother's incredulous, I'm-really-sorry-I-have-to-show-you-this expression right after she obviously unveiled the wreck. Ouch!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGenevieve

Hey where's that hissing noise coming from? It sounds like a beach ball deflating. Oh just great, first I get stuck with a hideous lime green dress, then my make up artist and hairstylist don't show up, and now this.... just great... okay Dante the weddings off. What do you mean you wanted to go to the mosh pit tonight anyways. You creep, here's your ring back. Oooh, oooh wait, it's stuck ( finally pulls free and throws it) Ooooooh look at my finger it's GREEN!!!!

Hmmm...kinda pretty though. Matches my dress don't-cha think?

Come back my little spider legged demon, The weddings back on! Yeee-aaaah!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Oh gosh! My wedding reception is in 2 weeks, and that is the kind of cake that we ordered, I certainly hope it turns out more like the first than the 2nd... yummm fudge!

As for the bubble... " What IS this?"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Kauz

Speech bubble (bridesmaid): "Maybe no one will notice...?"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzy

"Aren't you a little short for a wedding cake?"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOrigami Slayer

Caption: Okay, who took a DUMP on my wedding cake?!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoMama

"I can see misery in this cake... Oh no, that's my reflection in the little mirror leaves." HA!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBryna

Did they use "Magic Shell" ice cream topping for the wished for drizzle???
From the glance I got of the Bride's blog, she handled it alright - but I only say she is wrong in that many folks will remember the cake. Those will be Cake Artists and anyone that visits the bestest site ever: Cakewrecks!!! :)
Vivat Wrecks! LOL! Wendy

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwendl26

You can almost hear the mother saying, "I knew something like this was going to happen the minute you said you wanted a gothic wedding cake instead of one of those beautiful cakes Kathie Lee and Hoda had on the 6th hour of The Today Show."

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterReverend Ramona

My caption(s):

Bride: "I though Aunt Barb was finally sober!"

Mom: "Plainly not."

Bride: "Not. A good. Start."

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThomas Westgard

Hello everyone. It's me. The bride. Yes, that was my cake. Urgh, and I'd just about gotten over it too. Still, you can't complain about being featured on the most awesome site ever, even if it does involve everyone else being happy at my misfortune. I'm glad I could brighten up your day!

You know what the ironic thing is? I thought about submitting this to Cake Wrecks, and I DECIDED IT WASN'T WRECKY ENOUGH. Clearly I have no clue.

After the wedding I couldn't even be bothered to take this issue up with the bakery. Maybe I should send them the link to this page, though. So keep the nasty comments coming! Haha. On the up side, if you read my original post, the cake wasn't something I was hugely interested in, so if something had to go wrong it was the best thing that could! Obviously I would have liked an actual nice cake, but far better that than my dress getting messed up or someone important not arriving or something. And thank god for those awesome cake toppers, which everyone noticed and totally saved that cake's ass!

More captions, please. I love seeing what you guys come up with. And yes, my mother's face is priceless!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRuby Slippers

Mom says, "Well honey, let's hope this is the only short stumpy thing you see today."

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Y'know, reading the bride's blog, she dealt with it pretty well. She wasn't happy, but it sounds like it didn't spoil her day. Yay for Ruby Slippers!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLon

Well, with the toppers, the "wreck" works as, uh, a sort of, uh, ironic look. Yeah. Ironic.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"You say a SEAGULL was NOT to blame?"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJimh.

GIANT LOL @ Rebecca!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRuby Slippers

Aww, the poor bride! I'm happy she at least got featured on CW, that's gotta be worth something.

My caption is: "What in Lucifer's reach...?"

I love the original cake but seriously, poor bride!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Ha... that bride seems so "goth" with her blonde hair and bright green dress....

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTig

Bride caption: "Is it just me, or is that a cow patty on top of our cake?"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermotherzucker

"Well, honey, look on the bright side. Your going to be famous on CakeWrecks."

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFiori Floral Design

"Lemon filling!? I told them three separate times that it was supposed to have custard filling!!"

My two bids on the caption "We can save this... All I need is couple of carrot jockies and a typo and they'll think I MEANT to have a Wreck!"

or

"Well this cake is perfect.. If I was marrying Homer Simpson!"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShawna

caption: "Oh great! I finally get to end up on that cake wrecks site"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDaigan Vince Gaither

Mother: "I'm so sorry, Honey."
Bride: "This looks nothing like the picture."
Mother: "I'm really so sorry, Honey."
Bride: "How hard is it to copy a picture?"
Mother: "apparently for them, very."
Bride: "This has to be a joke."
Mother: "I'm so sorry, honey.."

~Amy B.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Caption: Bride- "I knew I wanted a gothic wedding cake, but a cake with a Frankenstein hairdo?! That's a little much, even for me..."

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelley Marie

Bride: "What we have here is a failure to communicate"

or

Bride: "Mom, Where did we put Dad's Duct-tape?"

Mom: "I don't think duct-tape will fix this dear"

Brides-maid: "We need a pound of frosting 2 dozen cupcakes and a yard of ribbon STAT!"

Actually I think this would make a fanastic cover(or inside cover) for Cake Wrecks book! just put their faces on, or in, the front and then put the bottom half of the picture on, or in, the back, I think it would grab my attention, and would not only spotlight a great wreck, but tell a "story" about what a cake wreck is, something that people stare at and go, "huh?"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

Sylar-esque, classic.

I did have something else to say but I can't get a shirtless Zachary Quinto out of my head...oh well...

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBigMomma

Caption:

In hindsight, maybe getting the cake at Krispy Kreme was a mistake.

Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I just feel so sorry for the bride... Reminds me of my grooms cake: speaking of which, I'll need to send it in to you if I even have a picture of it - it was stuck in the corner. I'm not one to like the ganache look, but there's only one word for that wreck:
"Seriously!?"

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Dotson-Thomson

Bride: This is all of the cake I got for my money?

Mom: At least you only spent $20.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShelley

Beyond the doughnut glaze look, I'm particularly impressed that the baker didn't seem to have much idea of what a wedding cake should look like. I checked the bride's blog post and she did specify that she wanted two layers instead of three, but I don't think she requested that the cake be much shorter and squatter than the one from the photo. If you cut the top layer off the inspiration cake, you'd still have an elegant edible structure that is taller than it is wide, as wedding cakes tend to be unless the happy couple asks for something else. Why the bakery took the initiative to make a dumpy little thing without ever being asked is beyond me.

Still, good for the bride for making the most of it and realizing that a wrecky wedding cake does not ruin the wedding and certainly does not ruin the marriage.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

my quote (obviously inaccurate, since ruby slippers is such a good sport!): My Gawd, Momma. There's a cow pie on my cake.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTana

Epic bakery fail = Cake Wrecks WIN!

Bride: "I asked for sprinkles!"

Kim in ID

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKrusho

Bride's mom: "Well Honey, think of it this way: whether we eat a beautiful cake, or this ugly one, it all looks the same tomorrow right before you flush."

Bridesmaid: "Ummm, THIS CAKE looks like what you would flush."

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterallison

"Are you freakin kiddin me? Did you pay her?! I did leave her that pictures right? I mean seriously, does this look ANYTHING like that picture? Where is she, I'm gonna kick her in the forehead!"

The lady with the white thing in her hand is saying..."Well maybe it taste good, I mean let's just try to be positive, we can't do anything about it now. Here let me take my glasses off and see how it looks, oh see honey it looks fine without my -5.75 glasses on.

word verification-inounces...as in
how much chocolate did they use for that cake, tell me inounces not pounds please.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

The actual cake was a whole lot better than I figured it would look. Granted, it lacks in the dripping department, but it could have been so much worse. (Which was what I was originally thinking.)

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

I think my 11 yr-old son nailed for a caption. The cake is thinking..."I'm melting!!!!"

Funny part was he didn't realize the Bride was Ruby Slippers. He was just thinking about how the cake is so much dumpier and sorter than the original.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEternal Helpmates

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