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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May072009

How to Liven Up Mother's Day

You can't blame these decorators, really; flowery cakes for Mother's Day can get a little boring.

I would say this baker got down to the heart of the matter, but that would be hitting above the belt. [smirk]

Oh, dear. You know, I've never watched the movie, but from the tiny bit I saw here I'm starting to wonder if this is really the best choice for a cake, on Mother's Day or ANY day.* Yikes. And why "Mommies"? Do two Moms get to share this psychotic little treat?

Here's a bakery that really knows the best way to honor Mom: by eating her face!

At least they provide lots of options to choose from, though, thereby increasing your odds of finding a Mommy Head that "looks just like her!" Woo woo!

Alison J. and Kelly D., I think for fun I'm going to get a head that looks as UNlike Mom as possible. Then I'll tell her I brought in a picture of her for the bakery to match, and act like I think they did a fab job. :)

*Actually, I looked it up, and this is listed as a "christening cake". Wow. Somehow, I think that makes it worse...

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Reader Comments (209)

LET ME JUST SAY..."I KNEW IT!!!!!":

the man-nurse said...
It's an ironic statement on American obstetrics that natural births don't lend themselves as well to kitchen cutlery! ;)

I like the plastic baby inside. Too bad there's no way to cake-ify a uterus (which seems like it would be easy) and intestines (which seems not so easy) for ob/gyn students or something.

Wait, were they forceps or salad tongs?

April 22, 2009 10:23 PM
Anonymous said...
To:The Man-nurse:

That sounded like a challenge to some talented Wreckorator out there... Maybe Jen will be getting some Uterus submissions soon.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I totally want to take the face cakes and play a massive yummy game of Guess Who!

(As for the "Mommies Dearest," don't discount the possibility of a lesbian couple raising a child...)

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlisa Knits!

No words adequate.
I believe they fail me now
Even in haiku.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Never seen Mommy Dearest, but the fact that there are 2 mommies? Shouldn't be a surprise, really.

From Mama to a boy who also has a Mummy.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That wire hanger emblem made me think of coat hanger abortions...eww. Like, "Thanks for not aborting me with a coat hanger."

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

Wow! You can't get any more "personal" than that can you?

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter

First and second cakes? Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Although the Louis Vitton sort of "classes" up the second cake.

As for the army of coked out mom heads? I'd like a brown-haired, brown-eyed beauty to celebrate my day.

And I want sprinkles. Lots and lots of sprinkles.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

That coat hanger/Louis Vuitton cake...wow!
But those head cakes are super cute in my humble opinion! I don't know if I'd eat them though!

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

I'm glad I'm not the only person who, at first glance, thought that the second cake was making some type of pro-life statement. Don't WORRY, pop-culture posters, I got the reference quickly after!

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie

Maybe the Mommies are a lesbian couple?

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am loving the fact that the ovary/uterus cake as SPRINKLES!! ROFL. And I totally found my mom amidst the head cakes! YES!
As for wreck #2...umm...yeah, movie reference aside, it makes no sense at all.

WV: unyto...as in...YOU NEED TO read the links and at least SOME of the comments before posting your own...really.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCara

That uterus cake is just PLAIN WRONG!! What are people thinking?? Is the mom a ob/gyn?

The second one? A Christening cake? In celebration of the baby not being aborted? Dang. I think I'll stay away from that family...(cue psycho theme music)

~Amy B.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Weird cakes...But, love em', lol!

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJusti

Oh yeah, I definitely saw it as an anti-abortion cake. "Thanks for not aborting me!"

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Could it be that the second cake was supposed to have an apostrophe, and actually referred to the baby itself, as in the baby is "Mommie's Dearest"? Very very creepy!

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Oh my, the first cake reminds me of the Dodge Ram logo. Seriously, every time I see that logo on a truck, I think of the female anatomy. Makes for a nice chuckle while sitting at a traffic light. lol

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSheila

That reproductive system cake is a RIOT!! It's actually accurate enough to use to have "the talk" with my 9 year old daughter - how better to open a discussion than with cake!
WV: ardic - I guess I'll have to put that in the talk, too...

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracy O

You just know the way to make the uterus cake even more wrekky is to use cupcakes as the ovaries.

Yep, the no wire hangers woman is scary!

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluzz

Just what we've all wanted. To eat the reproductive organs of a mother (hopefully not mine) wonderfully illustrated before us in cake form...

...of course... :)

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

Glad to see I'm not alone in thinking the "No hanger" sign was an anti-abortion statement. Granted, there's a lot that cake is screaming at us.

Whatever it was, I'm sure it tasted like sugary inappropriateness.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommentermiVi

I figured the second cake was for a same-sex couple. That would explain the plural "Mommies".

I got nuthin' on the hanger part, though...

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStumpy

Hahaha, at first glance I thought the female anatomy cake was a VERY BAD Texas Longhorns. lol

mycreativeway.blogspot.com

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRaychel

Wasn't there a female reproduction cake in an episode of Blossom? To explain to teenage Blossom how she's, er, blossoming?

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

Is the handbag from the 2nd cake a reference to "The Importance of Being Earnest"?

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ew. Just ew.

I cannot think of an event in which internal organs are a sensible choice for a cake (well, except that surgeon's convention, but even still...couldn't you do something clever with a gurney or some gauze?)

The second one? I at first thought of the totally tasteless option, too -- but even the movie tie-in is bizarre, and pretty tasteless. Wow, glad you're my moms, even if one or both of you are mentally ill, egomaniacal, alcoholic child abusers! Woo. Now THERE's a warm and fuzzy sentiment for ya.

The real tragedy is that it's a well-done cake -- and would be considered as anything BUT a wreck if it didn't have that ill-advised hanger on it.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Like many others I thought the second cake was making an abortion statement.
And I'd just like to say "Mommie Dearest" is a good movie in the same vein as "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" If you didn't get enough stress in between work, people with road rage, and swine flu then either movie should keep you properly rattled for an hour or so. Guess it's what my old film professor would call "a hard watch".

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

When I saw all the mommy face cakes I couldn't help singing "Red and yellow black and white, They are precious in His sight." It's so funny to me that they made them all races and hair colours but they're all "Labeled" Yellow!

( Yes I know that's the type of cake...sheeesh!)

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Coat hanger? I thought the thing on the symbol on the second cake was a poorly-drawn depiction of male genitalia and it was celebrating a lesbian couples' adoption. Regardless, the cake's ugly.

The uterus cake, though ... AAAAAAAAAARGH! NOOOOOOO! DO NOT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If you squint you can pretend the reproduction cake is actually just a colorful steer head.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

@ TracyO - trust me food causes a bit of a distraction! When our sixth grade class had to watch the video about reproduction the mother made pancakes for her daughter in the shape of a uterus and ovaries and was explaining the whole process over a steaming griddle. We all laughed so hard we completely missed the gist of the film. Of course this was back in the 80's so maybe today's kids are better equipped to make the reproduction/food link.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterArren

Anonymous #1 said I love the first cake. Hysterical.
Was that pun intentional or unintentional? (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_hysteria" REL="nofollow">female hysteria.
Anonymous #2 said are those ovaries producing... sprinkles?!?!
Don't everyone's? :P

WV: aulch - the sound readers make when viewing these cakes.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

Geez people, if you'd read Jen's commentary, you'd know what the cake was about (and really, if you're skipping the commentary, then you're missing the best part of this blog). If you'd read some dang comments, you'd know what the cake was about. Everyone's so click happy to comment, lol! It's definitely NOT an anti-abortion cake.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermaryjack

Being pregnant; the reproductive system cake made me laugh, and almost pee.
And they anti abortion cake...I'm not understanding the LV bag...and seriously do people still use hangers in THIS country?
Then we have the heads...I'm reading the book STIFF right now by Mary Roach, all I could think about was the first chapter when she watches surgeons practice plastic surgery on decapitated cadaver heads.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

Bahhahahahahahha! "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!" I would TOTALLY buy that cake! :D

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawne

Oh my...those heads...Well, I don't know for SURE, but they look like leftover Easter egg cakes...and I know when I worked as a cake decorator, we'd try to use up as much of the excess holiday shape cakes as possible after the holiday. We even used Valentine's hearts for Mother's Day.

But, the heads...that's just creepy...

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

Lol, the top one looks like a chinese zodiac (if you were on crack while looking at it that is!!)

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

As I scrolled down, I saw a cake with a baby, with a "no" sign over a hanger, and immediately thought it was some crazy anti-abortion message. Then I got down to the inscription and realized it was a reference to Joan Crawford.

But that's not really better: it references a scene where a mother brutally beats a kid of about seven with a wire coathanger. Happy Mother's Day!

Also, as others said, baby (not a child even remotely resembling Christina Crawford) + no-hanger sign + luggage = Christening cake? Whaaa?

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh gosh... I just noticed the "ridge detail" in the uhm...special area of the first cake...way way way way WAY too much! I can't believe it!

oh and now I see the "no wire hangers" reference...but it is all confusing with the bag and it being a baby and I'm just still nost sure that's what they actually meant...maybe it's a play on, ya know like "oh that's a great concept for an anti-abortion cake." Even thought it's not.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

Actually, the "no coat hanger" symbol represents pro-choice, not anti-abortion. But nobody in their right mind would put that symbol on a christening cake if they knew that so it must just be a reference to the movie instead. Either way, it's in very bad taste.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I thought the second cake was about abortion at first, and then I saw the comments about the movie. I'm not quite sure what meaning to take from it now, but either way it's inaprops and tacky and wrong on so many levels.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

Gross award for #1.

Whoever ordered, made and paid for #2 should be stabbed repeatedly with a wire coat hanger while someone screams "No wire hangers ever!"

Sadyly #3's are a tad cute...just a tad thought. This could be because my perception is now horribly distorted by the crap that is #1 and #2, no pun intended.

wv equall...mithpelled equal.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord
May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterF. Pelayo

I seriously had no words for these cakes....well I did have three words.

What the ----!

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenisewalks

Has NO ONE seen Mommy Dearest??? As in "No. Wire. Hangers. EVAHHHH!!!!!" And that line has become a pop culture joke for a very overacted scene. Not the universal slogan for child abuse.

C'mon people, does everything have to be twisted around into something politcal??? Seriously.

Do you think we can all lighten up here? Please? It is just cake. And silly cake at that. I don't think Jen is secretly trying to brainwash us.

As for the first work of art, MY EYES!!! THEY BURN!!!!

:-)

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRedheaded Wonder

Whether it's anti-choice or about child abuse, that is one passive aggressive (and CREEPY) cake! The only salvation that cake could have is if it were a very, very inside joke.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I dunno... the uterus cake kind of grabs me - you know - in a maternal way. Is it the cute yellow ovaries? The sweet pink fallopian tubes? The copious sprinkles that look like wayward sperm? The ridged vag... vag... vag... nevermind! I guess it's the whole concept. So lovingly iced and tasty looking.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

I didn't see a Mommy Dearest reference in the second cake, I saw an anti-choice cake. I don't think it makes it any better of a cake. A cake seems a tacky place to make such a statement, right?

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKayt

Clarity on the coat hanger cake:

1) There is a wire coat hanger reference in the movie "Mommy Dearest" that has nothing to do with abortion when the mom screams "No wire coat hangers, ever!" and goes into a psychotic rage. It is probably the films most famous scene

2) The coat hanger with the slash through it is a PRO-CHOICE statement, often accompanied by the slogan "Keep abortion safe and legal." Meaning, as pro-lifers make it more and more difficult and taboo to get an abortion, women are turning to dangerous "home remedies" like using a coat hanger to perform the abortion themselves.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersapna

Maybe my family is totally nuts, but my mother would laugh hysterically at the Mommie Dearest cake. No, child abuse isn't funny, but that movie is unintentionally hilarious (or is it intentional?), and we used to watch it all the time. The "no wire hangers!" symbol on the baby is killing me, and for some reason, the fact that it's an LV bag also amuses me. Love it.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't have a formal list of things I would prohibit recreating in cake form, but if I did, a uterus would top the list.

And the "Mommie Dearest" cake creeps me out. Well, I think the baby is cute, and even the suitcase is a little quirky, but the hanger is what puts it on the fast track to Creepyland.

May 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

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