Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jun182009

My Dad's Cake is More Insulting Than YOUR Dad's Cake

This Sunday is the day we tell Dad what he means to us - hopefully in a complimentary kind of way. You know, like this:

"Before that you were utter crap, of course, but I'm trying to focus on the positive here. Ice cream?"

The important thing is to always be honest. For example, if your dad is a beer-swilling couch potato, you might try this model:

See, since the sign says "World's Greatest Sports Fan", there's no need to find anything positive to say about his parenting skills whatsoever. Score! (And if you're wondering why this design is on a green brick background and has a giant banana on it... so am I.)

For this next one, I think Brian M. said it best:

"Of all the Dads out there, you are one of them."

It's usually a safe bet to go with a simple "Happy Father's Day".

Well, I did say "usually".
And at least they remembered the "h". Heheh.

Oh, and check this out: I got the same Wreck from two different people!

Ah, I love my Wreckporters. What other blog has evil henchpersons of such tried and true dedication, I ask you - eh? That's right, NONE of 'em.

Noelle K., Mary V., Brianne, and Alea J., if there was a "Blog Reader's Day", I'd totally feel bad for not getting you a cake on that day.

- Related Wreckage: Passive Aggressive Cakes

« Threadcakes Contest | Main | KILL IT WITH FIRE!! (Oh wait, they already did...) »

Reader Comments (62)

"Happy Farther's Day" -- ha! Would have been an even better wreck if it said...

"Happy Farter's Day!"

*hehe! I'm so clever, I should be a pro-wreckerator!

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What's with the banana on the floor of the "sports fan" dad's cake?

I'm shocked that you failed to mention that, Jen. Shocked.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKLB

Wow, I love how that last cake is in the display case sideways. :D

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Haha! At least they remembered the "H"...hilarious.
Of all the people I know...you're 1 of them.
Someone tell me WHAT is UP with the banana...I mean, if you must include a food item a potato would at least make some sense.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCara

I'm worried that the last cake is actually a decal on the glass! Telling their customers what they offer, that takes the term wreckerator to a whole new level... and office!

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

Do you know if that first one is actually a father's day cake? It could just be a 50th cake. Not that it makes it much better.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmm... maybe it's a good thing Father's Day cakes aren't big around here after all... Not that my dad wouldn't find some of those funny...

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Oh my god, this is awesome!

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAleesuhn_Muhree

I think that in light of Father's Day, "Happy Falker Sotherhood" is due for a rerun. I mean, it's perfect for the occasion!

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMinnie

Happy Farther's Day Dad! Now go watch TV in the yard with your giant banana and randomly placed bushes. Wee Lov Yu Dade!

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacie

You've completely misinterpreted that second cake. The dad, because of his sedentary, alcoholic lifestyle, has died and is currently in purgatory. Prison bars, their shadows darkening the background, condemn him to remain until he confesses (presumably to the banana) that he's been a terrible husband and father. After which, of course, he'll move on to Hell, where they serve only Chinese foot-binding cake.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstudiorose

Yeah, what is up with the banana? Anybody got anything? Me neither.

What part of the country pronounces the word Father "Farther", because apparently there is one since we have two wrecks stating it. Wherever it is, I'd love to know, so that I can stay away from it.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um how come the Sports Fan's cake has mold growing under the banana?

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the banana is what throws me... I could almost make sense of it... but then it was gone.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan the Muse

We have to give credit to the creator of the first cake though, it was a long sentence and no misspellings, jajajajaja.

Was the banana supposed to be a living room carpet? maybe?

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeray

I think I'll just give my Dad flowers for Father's Day LOL.

I'm still trying to figure out why they decorated the banana (my brain bleeds trying to figure out why they put the banana there in the first place).

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen in Canada

"Happy Farther's Day" MUST be in a Vermont bakery. The land of "soder" and "sofer" and "farthers."

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The banana indicates how, when Dad gets up to get another beer, he's going to slip and fall and everyone can laugh..

Amy B

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I was so distracted by the banana rug in front of the couch that I missed the green brick flooring. wow. That's a wreck so bad it distracts you from its other many faults.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I believe the "Happy Farther's Day" cake was caught in the last photo trying to slink away in shame...or perhaps off to a tryst with "Happy Falker Satherhood."

w.v. logges - Chaucer hathe found logges for his fyre.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSho

Lol - it totally looks like a banana, but it's supposed to be a living room rug and the green bits are little tassels. I still can't figure out why the diagonal pattern on the cake though...

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSkye

I'm with Deray: the banana's the edge of a circular yellow rug with attractive green tassels that the sofa's on top of, isn't it?

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterp

If that's supposed to be a floor made from green bricks, then they're the world's largest bricks! Proportionatly they're HUGE!! (I guess that's why they'd have an equally huge moldy banana covering part of the floor...)

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

One Dad to rule them all,
One Dad to find them,
One Dad to bring them all
And send them to bed without any supper.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTSFN

Just FYI- that "Sports Fan" cake is one I've made several times in the decorating biz. It's not a yellow banana- it's a rug- and apparently the wreckerator decided it should be an outdoor rug hence the weird green bushes added on to it. I can't really explain the brick background. Hmmm....

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSoniayak

There actually is a Blog Readers Appreciation Day... it's April 16th, so you missed it, but next year we will expect a cake!

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

I'm guessing the "Happy Farther's Day" ones come form the east coast more specifically the New England region. They have a habit of over compensating the fact that they drop the 'r' off the ends of words and then to make sure they have it right they add them in where they don't belong. See my linguistics studies paid off for something at least.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

That cake with the giant banana is so wonderfully absurd that I would like to believe they made it that weird on purpose.

WV: amello - I see they even made the banana amello yellow.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

It should be fairly obvious that the "banana" is in fact a rug that's partly covered by the couch. As for the green bits, however, I'm not sure, but my best bet is that it's plates of nachos he tossed away from him when he was full that have gotten moldy on the floor because his wife ran out on him for being such a lazy beer-swilling pig who throws nachos on the floor.

I read a lot into cakes.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlisa Knits!

so funny I love the farthers day one.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDarla: Retro Ways

I think the "1 Dad" cake is for a Jamaican music lover: "One Dad, One Day, Let's get togetter and eat some cake!"

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFrigglesnitz

I like the passive-agressiveness of the first cake - you're a great dad for an old fart.

And, the banana rug is... slippery? Happy Farthers!

Ingsh. The sound the couch-potato dad made after slipping and falling on his banana-peel rug, and before passing out. Ingsh...

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

The first one isn't all that wrecky. Maybe he wasn't a dad at all before the last half-century. Then they're not trying to make him feel old so much as accomplished. Being a great dad for 50 years is much harder than being just a dad that long.

The last cake reminds me of the pseudo-Dutch "farzher" pronunciation by Goldmember.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

The banana may be a innuendo of sorts?

Do you think if I ordered one that said "Happy Farthers Day" intentionally, they'd really do it? Let's be honest here, it's really the only day he gets away with it is on his special day.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbrossettelewis

I had no clue that big yellow banana was supposed to be a rug. But if that's true, here's my question:

What's that brown oval thing directly under the couch?

The couch is on a brown oval. And the brown oval is on the banana rug. Is this supposed to be a rug on a rug? Did the decorator forget that s/he had already made one rug, and then make another one? More points for wreckiness.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGM

Haha...
@ brossettelewis...you could try but they'd probably mess it up.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCara

Too many farthers will be celebrating next sunday, anyway.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlessandra

Couch potato Dad looks like he and his couch have been set a drift on yellow life raft in an algae tinged cement pond.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJo-Anne

Gooood point, GM! I was thinking the banana was a rug, too, but what's with the brown oval?

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Claire

"Farther's" is so fawesome!!!

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStalker v1.5

The couch potato banana dad comes with a souvenir...that's kinda cool.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBelle Epoque

I'm worried more about the awkward green tufts on the banana than the banana itself...what are they supposed to be?!

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDea della Luna

Maybe "Happy Farther's Day" is for the dad that goes the extra mile. Or maybe it's a subliminal message and the giver wants to get his/her dad farther away???

WV: mistedu

I'm gunna git you a speshul cake cause I mistedu sew much.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte

The banana thing is just truly, facinatingly absurd, so that's a nice, mind-stretching touch. But, tell me this; what's that flesh-colored splodge on the back of the couch, above his hand with the remote? His last pizza, picked and licked clean of all the toppings, and discarded (or saved for a later snack mood)?

I think the second cake has great "a-peel" to many a Farther

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjennifer

Well. My ex-husband had a banana reference. (Not as wrong as it sounds.) He was friends with all the people he knew in high school and they had some pretty odd referential things that made not a jot of sense to anyone outside their inner circle. I'm guessing this dad has the same thing?

(I even sent him, er my ex I mean, a banana-gram for his first father's day. You haven't lived until you've seen a full-grown man wearing a banana suit and singing Happy Father's Day. Really.)

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEm

Oh, the poor Dad's that get these cakes...the couch potato one is so cheesy...I hate plastic junk all over cakes....everyone always fights over them and someone ends up crying in the process when they don't get the junk ! And then there is the whole issue of how much frosting they take away when you remove them from the cake...

Curse all phonetic spellers and ask them to turn in their decorating kits ASAP !

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Anonymous said...
"Happy Farther's Day" MUST be in a Vermont bakery. The land of "soder" and "sofer" and "farthers."
****************************
Hmmmm....I am a native Vermonter, and I don't talk like that!
I have heard others who DO, though;
I just assumed that they were from Joizy.

June 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The banana rug cake.... maybe the cake is on the infield at Fenway... stripes from the lawnmower? and the "banana rug" is really supposed to he a jai-alai xistera (the thrower thingy)? Just grasping at straws, but I must admit, it's a wreck!

June 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

I would like to make note that, not unlike text messaging, the rules of grammar do not apply to cake wrecking:

"You've
Been a great
Father for the
Past half a
Century"

Just because those words came at the beginning of a line doesn't mean they have to be capitalized. I'm sorry, but it makes me laugh.

June 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercgreyd

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>