My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Celebrating the "Yes" with a bunch of "No"s

There are usually a lot of weddings in June, so I know you're getting sick of all those perfectly lovely wedding and engagement cakes by now, aren't you? [patting your hand] Well don't you worry, dear; that's what I'm here for.

First, fellas, take note: This is NOT how you do it.

"So I was picking up some salami, right? And I see this cupcake thing. Anyway, long story short, I figure, hey, it's cheaper than a real one, and I could go for some nosh right now anyway..."

Once the engagement is set, some couples like to celebrate by getting something big, shiny, and misspelled:

While others like adopting fun new aliases...

Some couples like to keep the guests guessing:

"So did they get their degree, or are they getting married?"
(Answer: getting married. Yes, really.)

Or freaking out the family with something that looks like it should come with a ransom note:


"Pay up, Bub, or your fiance loses her other hand."

Hey, Paula T., Anony, Veronica, Amanda G., & Anony 2, [pointing with two fingers] engage.

(I've always wanted to do that.)

- Related Wreckage: Hey Nurse, Slip Me Some Tongue!

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Reader Comments (134)

I think everyone else has voiced my thoughts on the cakes themselves. I have nothing of value to add on that front.

I have to say, however, that I absolutely loved your closing line. *geeky happy dance*

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynette


June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

That last cake is scary! And "vomitable"....

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina Bambina

At least they were considerate enough to bandage up the bloody stump!

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGAMZu

Just had an incident with a knife and my hand, so the last cake made me jump a bit. And then I began to sick is that cake?!

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

The last cake is WAAAAYYY too creepy! They could have at least made the hand a bit more feminine...? And painted the nails a nice pink or red or something? UGH...


June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKritterBugg

Did anyone see Cake Boss last night with the crazy bridezilla who ruined a perfectly beautiful cake?? Oh, my heart ached (mostly that someone was marrying such a horrible person).

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Why is the "diamond" on the CCC completely iced... But the "ring" cupcakes iced individually? I will never understand the CCC decorator ~Carrie~

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The hand cake is particularly disturbing to me. I just couldn't look away (even though I wanted to). I think perhaps it's the perfection of the hand - the nails are juuust right, the bones protrude juuust so off of the hand...


Keep it up! The amount of wreckage you continually find never ceases to amaze me!

Long time reader, first time commenter,

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkelseybuff

As a jeweler, I find these especially painful!

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendyB

Putting aside the ironic note to the cake, that 3rd one looks really good... Mmm...

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterserellie

Did anyone notice that the Hand cake looks like it is plam up but the fingers are plam down? Or is it the lighting in the photo?

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Since we're discussing spelling errors, I think the correct spelling for the scream of horror at discovering a severed hand on your engagement cake is "AIIIIIEEEEEEE!" (Capitalization and number of "i"s and "e"s optional.)

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

It looks like a possessed hand in which the fingers have spun 180 degrees. 'Cause isn't that the palm of the hand underneath?

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthisbagisnotatoy

"Or freaking out the family with something that looks like it should come with a ransom note:" ROFL!

As I recently got engaged, we were thinking about doing a small get together to celebrate with friends, but these cakes have put me off.

Especially the CCC. *Shudder*

Eloping never looked so good...

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina M.

I am choking back a laugh at "Your day has arrived". It's so thriller-killer action movie-ish! Like something Arnold would say as he holds a bazooka on his shoulder. Daaaang.

And poor Amanda better be marrying into the green after a cake like that. Bleech.

wv - redid. One hopes the wreckorators redid these orders free of charge

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

The last one is hysterically awful. The severed hand is bad enough but "Your day has come"? Wahahahahahahaha.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

my friend's comment when i showed him--
"all I can think about is Tom Lehrer's 'I Hold Your Hand in Mine'"

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHarley

I'm going to have bad dreams tonight.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRaisin'Cookies

HAHA. I heart this blog... I spent hours here the other night laughing and trying not to pee my pants while my husband kept raising eyebrows at me.

I'd agree with everyone about the hand cake, but coming from someone who made herself a "Norman Bates Sinking Marion's Car in the Swamp" cake for her 18th birthday... well, I can't really say anything.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJael

Lol, these are ridiculous.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAleesuhn_Muhree

Wow, that dismembered hand is Something Else. I'm glad my friends aren't that 'creative'. Eesh.

all that hand cake needs to be truly creepy is slightly different lettering. you know, the red dripping blood letters used for horror novel covers?

YOUR....DAY....HAS....COME!!! Mwah ha ha ha!!!

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I love that last cake!!! [in a grim reaper voice] "Your day has arrived!"

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hand cake....most.disturbing.ever.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

at first, i was just staring in disgust at that hand.

then i thought hey, at least its not a foot.

seriously though...ew.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdani

wow that hand one is pretty creepy. lol

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlpha Chick


June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie R

Did anyone else notice that the hand has the fingers on upside down?

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlaura

that last one is rather scary, I have to agree. Wow.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan the Muse

alright, it's bad enought that there's a disembodied hand on it, but check out the little note. "your day has arrived" or "your time has come" or "mwahahahaha!"

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFreya

Ok, the hand one is several many different kinds of creepy. The cupcake one reminds me of the wedding I went to a couple weeks ago. The 'cake' at the ceremony was, I kid you not, several boxes of cupcakes. Not even homemade ones either. Store bought, with price stickers still attached and all.

WV: phalverg (adj); uncomfortable or otherwise awkward.
"Seeing the baked potato bar and cupcake 'cake' at that wedding made me feel very phalverg indeed."

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

"Your Day Has Arrived"?

Cut-off hand and thinly veiled death threat aside, that's a pretty damn offensive message. Unless maybe you are a gay person who has been waiting for the law to change. Otherwise the sugary subtext is...

Congradulations Miss Desperate! You're plan worked! You're previously meaningless life is now imbued with validatation!

I'd rather get a poo-themed CCC.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

Regarding the hend:

It looks like wreckerator reversed the pinky and ring finger. Maybe the ring only fit on the pinky.

It's also classy how they hide the index finger and thumb under the daisy. He/she must have grown tired of marzipan manicures.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteradrienne

@ Emily - No I didn't see the show, just the commercial. But I hope he charged her the FULL amount for the cake she ruined.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

@ amo ( amanda) No it's not thing from the Adamms family. It's the... ummm..."girl"...he proposed to. LOL

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

That hand is creepy. Worse than that football player's head.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeAnn

Somehow, after seeing the last cake, I have The The's "This is the day" stuck in my head.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Now everyone repeat after me, one word at a time, very slowly, in a low-low tone....
come" *add raspiness here*

Moving on I wonder who decided it would be a good idea to put a glass doorknob on a cake?

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

your commentary on the hand cake is hilarious!

btw, we celebrated a graduation AND an engagement the other weekend, and tempted as i was to write "congratulations on your graduation and engagement", or "congradulations (misspelled on purpose) on all this new stuff you're doing", we went with "happy engraduation." i thought you might like that.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterevil cake lady

The alias cake looks tasty! Oooh! I didn't know thing from the Adams Family got married!

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBigMomma

anybody see the sienfeld episode about man hands?

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCory

It doesn't matter how crappy my day has been, I can always count on Jen to make me laugh tell I need to change my pants! That's why I only read this website at home.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMicheleinCA

OMG...."engage" does Patrick Stewart say that word in your head every time you read/hear/write/say it too???

I thought I was the only one.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

That cake is so funny.

T. aka

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

uh, was that second pic one of those crystal doorknobs?

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

that hand cake will give me nightmares for years to come ... i'm fairly certain my answer would be 'NO' to anyone who would present that cake to me ...

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlauren ashley

Aaargh, the last one is terrifying!

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMs Avery

EEK! This makes me glad I never had an engagement party! Yikes!

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCakedreamer

For everyone complaining about the short, stubby fingers on the last cake--I finally found a cake that has hands that look like mine--well, except for the better manicure on the cake. Much better than those spidery things on the pregnant belly awhile back.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgn4vr

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