My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I'm Guessing They Didn't Have a Matching Card

Well, at least it didn't say "Happy".
(And you have to admit: the glowsticks are an inspired touch.)

Mmmm, cancer rat.

Slice of dead Lenin, anyone?

I mean, it looks just like Lenin's perfectly preserved corpse, so I know you're salivating already. Why, just look how excited the kiddies are!

"No, not the cold shoulder; I want a slice of the iron fist! Now quit Stalin and get me some Lenin-ade to wash it down with, or this joint won’t be getting any high Marx from me."

Of course the best part was saved for the VIPs:

Ah, a little jawbone with a scoop of ice cream on the side... [kissing fingertips] magnifique!

Ellie P., Whitney G., & Ann W., I think I'm going to need a Unicorn Chaser, stat.

- Related Wreckage: Any Occasion Will Do

UPDATE: Wow, thanks for all the entries in the dead Lenin caption contest, guys! The winning caption is a combination of what Taylor, Jenniffer, the Suttons, & Anne S. wrote. Oh, and my friend Abby came up with "slice of the iron fist."

And here are a few more that made me laugh:

"Lenin cake again?" - Ivory Girl

"I said I wanted a LEMON cake." - Judy

"Well, it’s better than cancer rat.” – Chris

"Crotch, please!" - BookTender

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Reader Comments (549)

Look! He even has long nose hairs like daddy!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGracie

Look! He even has long nose hairs sticking out, JUST LIKE DADDY!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGracie

"Sweet! I get his heart!"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMikkiMouse

"Where's the beef?"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteribeoncaffeine

"To each according to his needs. I need more cake."

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Momma

I always thought communism would taste more bitter.

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Momma

"Please sir, I want some MOREEE!" - notice how she's already got cake there...:)

Thank you, Jen, for such an amusing blog - sure brightens up my day! :)

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternurjmo

Don't give me the penis. I heard them say he screwed an entire nation.

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Momma

"I thought I'd be safe with just a small bit of shoulder...I was mistaken, it's still creepy."

It does take some talent to make a cake so life (scratch that) death-like. It wouldn't sicken us so much if it was poorly done.

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I 'nose' exactly what piece I want!


July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"So, this is what they meant when they say someone is cream-ated."

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

I want the drumstick! Can I ? Can I? Can I have the drumstick?

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSherry

"How come we didn't get to do this when Grammy died?"

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScott H

Gives a whole new creepy meaning to when Marie Antoinette said the starving masses should eat cake.

It's SoyLenin green! SoyLenin green is people!

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScott and Katie

girl: "who cares if it's a Lenin cake, I just want my photo on Cake Wrecks!"

girl: "my mom always taught me not to take my first bite until everyone was served.It'll be a long wait"

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"So that's what they serve at the Communist Party."

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScott H

"Oh, I called for the left cheek first!"

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

"Rush said this is the only thing socialism is good for."

"Can I have a scoop of capitalism with this?"

"I LOVE Communism, it's tasty."

"More please!"

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEric

Mmm, I'd eat that dead person cake. Legal, tasty cannibalism people :)
What, you don't want any? All the more for me heheheh.
Who got the crotch?

Those glowsticks would work if Three Mile Island was the name of a show or place that'd had some weird X-Files stuff going on...

Sidenote: doesn't 'word verification' imply that the letters have to make up a word? I'm pretty sure arhesse isn't a word.

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterProcrastinateher

" He's full of chocolate! Did you know he is full of chocolate.....HE"S FULL OF CHOCOLATE!"

Remember that this is being said in a little girls voice.

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhead in the clouds

This just proves what Lenin said,

"Any cook should be able to run the country."

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEric

Wait, Lenin said, "Any cook should be able to run the country." I'm thinking the girl is saying, "So THIS is what happens when grateful cooks run the country!"

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermotherzucker

little girl: "Go for the jugular! Go for the jugular!!!

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

Um, I don't think this was what Marie Antionette meant...

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSojournerTruth

Oh Boy! I hope MY piece tastes like formaldehyde!

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNowax

By the way, Lenin-ade is real. And quite tasty.(Yes, I've had it)

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLorena

I call dibs on the cancer rat!

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJumper

Cartoony Vladimir Lenin and Leon Trotsky approve of that cake.

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIan Andreas Miller

"Awwww, LOOK! He's got a TEDDY BEAR in there with him!"

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

OMG too funny. Love the captions

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

"Quit Russian me! Is it best cut with an ice pick or a hammer?"

I've been reading Cake Wrecks for a while, but this is my favourite. I have a History degree and love bad puns so it was really a shoe in for favourite.

You guys are so funny.
- Alison

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlison P.

I think the little girl is just haranguing the server with, "Hey! You cut her a bigger piece. She got more frosting! I wanted a flower!...." The server is taking deep breaths so that he doesn't turn around, hold the knife to the girl's throat and say, "How would you like to join him in cake's sweet embrace!"

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

There is a great ska song about a cake of VI Lenin... just go to itunes, the band it Johnny Sokko and the tune is Vladimir Lenin... it's worth a buck

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly Cook

LOVE the puns!!!! LOVE THEM!!! :D

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDea

MY COLLEGE IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER (ish) FROM THREE MILE ISLAND! And I went there. My boyfriend snuck me onto the engineering trip there. :D Aw, this holds a special place in my heart! Not really. I'm just a lame Japanese major who has a bunch of nerds for friends. And I loooove them.

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersaachanx

Quick! Before he wakes up! x)

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

lol dead Lenin cake :D
i would like to try it :)

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlove2spooge

Next time PLEASE give a warning - I just f***g puked!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I, personally, can forgive a Lenin cake given that the Russians have such a wonderful attitude towards cake. Any country that has full on gateau style cakes on the buffet for breakfast at their hotels has got to be allowed their little idiosyncrasies.

July 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbardiera

LENIN CAKE! Perfect cake. :)

July 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterItalo

I am so proud. Don't ask me why one of my colleagues wanted to celebrate three mile island.

(Ellie P)

August 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEllie

I am the one who thought of and had the Three Mile Island Cakes (there were two) made. They were for a hospital that is within the area that would take patients if there were another problem at TMI. It is a lil sick, but funny.. Glad to see people like it!

August 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteremtffzartman

that Lenin cake reminds me of the video for Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More". I had nightmares for weeks after seeing that for the first time when I was like 7 or so. Lenin is ALL cake. Alice still had a singing head, flailing arms, and kicking legs. *shudder*

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

it would be even more hilarious if the innards of the john lenin(sp?) cake were Red velvet XD

November 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

All I can say is .....

Click here.

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPuck

wow, these are great!

January 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJG

Anyone else notice that the "dead cake" looks a liiiiiittle like a bald version of the guy serving the face? This must have creeped him out.

February 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMisara Cousland

I'm wondering if you knew that Leninade was a real product? It's pretty good too.

August 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Awe c'mon you've got to go to the funeral and pay respects... There'll be cake! Alright, I'll go but it better not be anything like when your rat died of Cancer...

May 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSiscoziger

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