My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I'm Guessing They Didn't Have a Matching Card

Well, at least it didn't say "Happy".
(And you have to admit: the glowsticks are an inspired touch.)

Mmmm, cancer rat.

Slice of dead Lenin, anyone?

I mean, it looks just like Lenin's perfectly preserved corpse, so I know you're salivating already. Why, just look how excited the kiddies are!

"No, not the cold shoulder; I want a slice of the iron fist! Now quit Stalin and get me some Lenin-ade to wash it down with, or this joint won’t be getting any high Marx from me."

Of course the best part was saved for the VIPs:

Ah, a little jawbone with a scoop of ice cream on the side... [kissing fingertips] magnifique!

Ellie P., Whitney G., & Ann W., I think I'm going to need a Unicorn Chaser, stat.

- Related Wreckage: Any Occasion Will Do

UPDATE: Wow, thanks for all the entries in the dead Lenin caption contest, guys! The winning caption is a combination of what Taylor, Jenniffer, the Suttons, & Anne S. wrote. Oh, and my friend Abby came up with "slice of the iron fist."

And here are a few more that made me laugh:

"Lenin cake again?" - Ivory Girl

"I said I wanted a LEMON cake." - Judy

"Well, it’s better than cancer rat.” – Chris

"Crotch, please!" - BookTender

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Reader Comments (549)

Awww, man, I don't want the ARM! I wanted the nose!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLesley

"Don't do that!! You'll wake him up!"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRory

Little Girl Picture caption:

A young Yoko Ono was quoted as saying, "Ewww, I said Lennon, not Lenin! This tastes like communism!! I wouldn't give it high Marx"


July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

"Aww! I wanted the jelly filling..."

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterphelpsgurl

I can't think of a caption, being that I am so disturbed that not only would someone assemble this cake, but then would hack at it and serve it to excited children. Barf barf and barf!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpastrychefjodi

With that surprised look I think she's saying.....

"Oh no! Someone is cutting hi.....OOOOOOOHHH it's a cake. Now I understand why I have a plate."

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAra

Never before has one of your posts made me want to puke...dead Lenin cake definately made me go there...thanks Jen. Sure am glad I was done my breakfast. Urp.

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think he just moved!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Not the Cold Shoulder again! Why, oh why, can I never have a Hot Piece of A**, Mommy?"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne S

"Look! He moved!"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergs

Ear! I want ear! Aww..shoulder again?!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercadesmom

@Just Jim...


"I think I saw him move!"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

"Tastes like chicken"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJames ~n~ Amber

That little girl is saying "but I want a FLOOOOWEEEERRRRRRRR" like all little girls when it comes to cake...gross.

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeash

No Mommy I said I wanted a LEMON cake for my birthday!!!!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Yes, jelly filling in strawberry cake would have made Lenin perfect! Yum-yum :)

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My guess is either

1) "Heeeeead, Shoulders, Knees and Toes! (Knees and Toes!)"


2) "You put your left arm in, you take your left arm out, you put your left arm in, and I'm going to eat your arm!"

Wait, she's not singing something inappropriate? Oh I disagree! See the man behind the cake-surgeon there? He's shocked and appalled!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy Dac

"It's meatloaf? No fair!"


July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Mommy, let's save the head in the freezer so Babushka can have a piece!"

GROSS...gross, creepy, icky...even without the radiation poisoning on the side...

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

So that's what disarmament means...


July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's not the arm I wanted! Give me private parts now, so I can preserve them from all of you perverts!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersailordada_99

"Can I have a piece of mustache, please?"

Notice that Lenin's mustache is *exactly* the same as the server's? Coincidence? I think not, comrade. In Soviet Russia, mustache wears YOU!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermr.ska

Okay, that's nasty.

Girl: "Whoa! Monster booger!"

Though I have to admit that the commenter that had the girl claiming the cake was grandpa and asking when he'd come back alive had me laughing out loud. Hilarious!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkaren

"Phew, good thing I didn't get the nose!"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNina

What's a ghoul got to do 'round here to get prime rib?

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSus

I want a cadaver piece!" (Like a corner piece - more icing). Yum!

This is one of the more disturbing things I have ever seen. *Shudder!*

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShara

"In Soviet Russia... cake"
"I have toiled in the fields for the greater good of the commune, now we feast on the spoils!"
"Don't chop the Stalin daddy!" (anyone seen those ads for the lollies?)

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

“My papa witnessed the fall of the Soviet Union and all I got was this lousy HORRIFYING CAKE TRAUMA! AUGGH!”

“Ah, so THAT’S how you do rotator cuff surgery!”

“Nightmare cake is the ipecac of the masses!”

“Wreckers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your lunch!”

“That’s it! When I die, I wanna be CREAMATED!”


July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTigerwolf

In Soviet Russia, cake eats you!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterelbarnes

"I wanted *white meat*, not a wing!"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvenSong

Can't resist a ST:TNG quote for the caption: "Mmmm...Cellular Peptide Cake ... with Mint Frosting!"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie H

I said "a slice of shoulder, not bicep"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKammy

Well, you finally did it! (Inspired me to comment I mean).
That Lenin cake has got to be the most tasteless (pun intended) idea yet. It creeped me out beyond description. Of course, the rat was bad, too...but eating a perfect repro of a corpse is just the worst!
I hope the little girl isn't asking for the moustache!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrynwood Needleworks

In Soviet Russia, cake eats you!

"I think I saw him move"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCora

Mommy...does eating him make me a cannibal?...and you said biting my sister was least I never put frosting on her and started slicing away!!!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dunno if this has been done yet but:

"In Soviet Russia, cake eats YOU!"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Imaginary Reviewer

Egads! I think I liked the Harry Potter cakes better.

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVillageMom

Ленин! Я не знал, что они имели аромат Ленина. Теперь я застреваю с частью родинки Горбечова на моей пластине.

Phonetic: Lenin! Ya nee znal chto anee emeelee aromat Lenina! Tepehr ya zastrovayoo schastyoo rodenkee Gorbachova na mahyee plactenee.

Translation: Lenin! I didn't know they had Lenin flavor! Now I'm stuck with Gorbachev's birthmark on my plate!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBonniejean

Little girl: "He seems so life-like!" or "Mommy, it's like watching CSI!"

This is the closest thing to an autopsy being performed on cake that I have ever seen...or ever hope to see again. Although it does bring to mind the funeral cake debate that erupted when Micheal Jackson died...this is far more disturbing than any of those cakes could possibly have been.

WV: Lumented...the first cake appears to be lumented

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGingerBedlam

Заполнение тапиоки взгляда Ohhh!

Translates to: Ohhh look tapioca filling!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ugh...i can't believe these actually got made. what kills me about the Lenin cake is that it looks like he's a cake, not a coffin. weird.

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

"See that blanket? I want what's Under Neat that."

"Is that Jamie Hyneman?"

"That's still better than the Michael Jackson cake we had last week. It was impossible to eat. It was all fondant."


"Is that a bullet in the neck? I thought he had that removed."

First thing I thought of..
"I'll choose my piece..I pick the nose" I guess gross caption goes with gross cake!!

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Dunaway's

Girl: "IT'S THE BEATING OF THAT HIDEOUS HEART! I mean, can I have his spleen?"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShell

"Can I watch you cut into the gonads?"


"Watch out! He's going for the jugular!"

I definitely do like the "fava beans" remark tho.

WV: Asesse--"After he serves up the gonads, the asesse next"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

"Do you mind if I throw up right here?"


"You CAN have cake AND death!"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

"Oooh, ooh, I call dibs on the clavicle!"

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

"When he said that no amount of political freedom will satisfy the hungry masses, I don't think this is what he had in mind as an alternative."

(My vote goes for Judy's above.)

July 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMo

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