My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Joker's Revenge

Thank goodness for those big photo books at the bakery counter. You know, the ones with all the cake designs in them? Yeah. Without those, how would we ever know what toys come with the cake?

What's that? You thought the books showed the cake designs, too? Ah. Please excuse me for a moment, while I turn my head and laugh heartily at your oh-so-sweet naivete.


I do so love shattering expectations.

Here's what Naomi J. ordered:


Aaand what she received:

Great slithering slabs of slime-secreting slugs, Sally!
(Sorry Naomi; I needed an S name.)

Note how all that airbrush dye pools together and glistens wetly in the light. Mmm. And the way that blackened, moldy green offsets the fluorescent green border. Yeah, that's tasty. And, of course, there's the eclair-filling slug bombs; can't forget those.

However, you should also note - and in the decorator's defense - that the batman toys look exactly the same. Hooray, photo book!

- Related Wreckage: Why So Serious?

« There, I Fixed It | Main | It Came From the Baby Shower... »

Reader Comments (160)

I can't believe someone paid for that.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

This is your cake. THIS is your cake on drugs.

Just say No to drugs (or slugs, as the case may be)

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRedgryphon

I don't think this cakewreck is real. I think they ordered it like this, or made it at home.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid and Sandy

Just from the differences in color between the source cake and the second, um, example, I think this is simply a cry for help. The poor decorator has eye trouble. Quick, to the Opthalmologist Cave!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermadrobins

I can't imagine what was going through the mid of the person operating the airbrush. I spent over 2 decades working as a baker and pastry chef and that is as bad as anything I've ever seen. I hope that the purchaser of this product was offered a refund, a free new cake and a year's supply of free cupcakes. Then I hope the alleged "decorator" was hauled unceremoniously out behind the dumpster and flogged with some greasy parchment paper. And fired. That item is an invitation to lose business.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Robin is conspicuously missing from the scenario!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

what happened to the sun? the sun has fallen out of the sky!! oh dear!

like Jael said it took a second look to figure out what the lemon blobs were SUPPOSED to be. Good thing the wreckorator doesn't do work in the "real" world or cars would be wrecked as well as cakes.

I hope they didn't even leave the bakery with this one... ick

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

i can't believe no one has made a "holy cakewreck, batman!" comment yet.

ewwww to the slugs. ewwww to the whole terrifying thing.

poor, poor birthday boy.

terry lee

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

I would NOT have paid for that cake!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterClaude

Does this wreckorator live where there are no roads???
They obviously have a small tip, they used it for the "inscription".
(Yes grammar police, I reject the rule about punctuation inside quotes.)
@David and Sandy: we have been through this 500 times: Jen does NOT post homemade cakes without disclosing it.
"It's a fake wreck" accusations get old. Time to give up you faith in humanity and accept that people are this bad at their jobs.


August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The 2nd ones background looks more like a spooky scene for a southern vampire cake (poorly done mind you).

assistant: "I'm just finishing up that true blood cake they ordered"

boss(coming in with batman toys): "What true blood cake? they wanted batman, here look at the picture!"

asst: "What?!? I know!" (whips out shiny yellow frosting) "I'll just add lines to the road, they'll never know the difference"

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYota Armai

I can't even believe this one is real.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter♥Libby

Oficially worst wreck EVER!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

That's awful! Since I have no baking or decorating skills, I have ordered several of the "book" cakes from grocery store bakeries, and they've all turned out just as pictured in the book.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

seeing that makes me really glad that our local store will sell me the toy kit. I just stick it on a homemade cake and the kids just want the toys anyway. That has to be one of the most unappetizing messes I've ever seen. Yuck!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertxhsmom

"HOLY SLITHING SLUGS BATMAN, WHERE AM I," the Boy wonder asks....

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStella

Thank god they have BOOKS to tell you how to decorate your own cakes. Whether the baker chooses to read them is a whole other thing.

I'm going to delude myself into believing that mommy let Jackson decorate his own cake...snot slugs and all. Because, as we all know, it's entirely plausible to believe that 4 year olds have mastered the art of cursive writing.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermudslicker

I know this is a Batman cake but the only thing that came to mind when I saw it was Harry Potter: "Eat slugs!"
Perhaps the wreckerator had a broken wand?

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

"Introduce a little anarchy... upset the established order... and everything becomes chaos! I'm an agent of chaos."

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Joker

Holy cow! What decorator thought THAT was close to what it was supposed to be???

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

This gives me an idea for playing the game "telephone" with wrecks.

Take a picture of a wreck, go into a store and ask for that design. Receive worse wreck in return. Take a picture of it. Repeat until no longer recognizable.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You can almost follow the wreckoraters train of thought, because, this particular wreckorater has no clue who Batman is, and upon looking at the design they are to copy, assumes the Batmobile is being pursued by small yellow snakes slithering down the they think, I know, we'll turn them into huge giant slugs...the kids will LOVE that!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

Oh man, I hope she didn't actually pay for that.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCountry Cookin' Mama

Actually, the "slug" road stripes? Look to me like that foam stuff you get to fill in cracks around windows--as soon as you spray it out, it expands to like 8 times larger. Ewwww. That is truly the most UNappetizing cake you've ever featured!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersunlizzard

I think the cake wreckorator in question is a joker, a smoker, a midnight toker.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

oh my....we just dont have this kind of thing in the UK where you choose form a book in the store itself....and those sluggy blobby things...excuse me, and going to be siii.....

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterspangle287

Oh My Gosh!! I think the slugs ate Robin! Or they rolled over him and he drowned in their ooze... And poor Batman reached out to save him, but was too slow. : (

wv: unglarg- the noise Robin made when he was drowning

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBethStev


I repeat:


("Taxi!" ROFL)

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

OMG! The horror! Can't help but wonder how it tasted...shudder!

Jenn McKinlay" rel="nofollow"> Mystery Lovers' Kitchen
A cupcake bakery mystery
Berkley Prime Crime Mar 2010

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn McKinlay

No Jen, it's "Holy Slithering Slabs of Slime-Secreting Slugs, Batman"
Just a little Bat-mania.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I only paid for it because unfortunately my son was with me and just saw the Batman figurine, and happily exclaimed a "Batman Cake!". She only charged me for the plain cake, which actually did taste good, but its not HARD for this one to taste better than it looks!

I feel like a celebrity now, a whole post to my wreck!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMonkeeMama

Also - if that big black area WERE actually buildings, the Batmobile would most definitely be driving up them.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie I

wow, I hope she didn't pay full price for that sucker

I first thought those sluggy things were peeled garlic cloves, and thought, "On a CAKE?!?!" *shudder*

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizzieCK

That is such a shame.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNichole Loves Cake

Holy Bogus Bakery, Batman!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid B

OMG! Naomi, I love how it's so bad you're being questioned whether it's legit or you're just some fame-seeking cake-wrecker!! ...not to make any excuses but again I must mention that it was a MILLION degrees that week...driving everyone a little craaaaaaaazy?!! Also making it too hot to bother arguing with the store or with a 4 year old who just wants some CAKE! Love the 84+ comments! :)

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Holy Banana Slugs, Batman! It's Jackson's Birthday! I hope he's too young to remember that cake.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

The look like the slugs from Flushed Away. Maybe they'll stand up and sing.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertheprovidentwoman

Oh, geez.

~Amy B

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Snot rockets. That is all.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

It looks like an original "Gordon Gartrell" cake, Theo!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSteve-Dave

Please tell me she didn't pay for that let alone serve it at the kids bday!!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGoofy girl

Nope, sorry, wouldn't have paid for it, would have left without it. How disappointing.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLorraine

Anon wrote:

"This gives me an idea for playing the game "telephone" with wrecks.

Take a picture of a wreck, go into a store and ask for that design. Receive worse wreck in return. Take a picture of it. Repeat until no longer recognizable."

Hilarious idea!!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

Monkee Momma, I am glad your little boy was happy with the cake. My tactic when using a "professional" bakery: arrange to pick up the cake early, so if changes need to be made, there's time to do it, and never bring your child with you if it's the child's cake. I learned that from experience. Picked up daughter's cake and she was with me. I wasn't happy with it, but she was, so I paid for it and took it home. This was years ago, before I found my daily dose of Laughter that is CakeWrecks.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLorraine

Wow the poor cake decorator. Just trying to be original! fail.

it's like ralph steadman before and after meeting hunter thompson.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlaura

My first thought... banana slug road kill.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfaradayflux

I'm still stuck on the slugs... When decorating, don't you have a piping bag? I mean, I know I do when I make my amateur why would you pipe out such huge, horrible things like that unless it's just pure laziness? Squiggliness, okay, even I've done that before. But you have to TRY to get them that big.

I think someone _wants_ to get fired.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What in the hell!?

word ver: mealsit - the occasion that takes place before this nasty wreck shows up.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNorkio

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