My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Patriot Day

Today you're going to see a lot of beautiful and touching 9/11 tributes. That's good. If you're like me, you're going to get a little teary-eyed, and maybe it will be a bit harder to remember all the little things you usually laugh about. Maybe that's why you're here. And you know what? That's good, too. We should celebrate our heroes. We should remember our loved ones. But we should also - and with great pride, I might add - eat patriotic donut holes.



Oh. Well, as long as it's printed on the label, then I guess it's Ok. Remember, if you don't eat your Patriotic Donut Holes, the terrorists win!

Although now that I'm looking at these things, I do see a problem: There are only red and white donut holes. No blue! Don't think I don't see what's going on here, either. That's right, Canada: I'm watching you.

Those are rather generic for Patriot Day, though, don't you think? Can we get something a little more...I dunno, holiday-specific?

Oh yes, they did. The twin towers...on a cupcake cake. (Patooie!) Wow. And...fireworks? Um. Ohhh kaaay. (Let the debate begin, again!)

Right, maybe we should head back into the generic territory:

Uncle Sam wants YOU...
to work out with teensy little dumbbells. Or turn that frown upside down - twice. Or maybe just enroll in an art class. (Uncle Sam can be a little hard to understand sometimes.)

Hm. Look, there has to be a middle ground between donut holes and icing depictions of the towers, right? How about just a nice, uplifting, appropriately-worded sentiment?

"Never Foget"?

Well, that IS pretty memorable.

Thanks to Cari, Megan, & Jolly D., who are all "unfogetable."

- Related Wreckage: A Cake Wrecks Salute

« We Are SO Gonna Get In Trouble For This One... | Main | Sweet, Sweet Irony »

Reader Comments (151)

Lizzie Fish,

Even the most solemn of days needs to have laughter. By laughing and living, you aren't disrespecting those that were taken. On the contrary you are honoring them by continuing to live rather than shutting down. If you do nothing but live in fear and never laugh, even on a day like today, you are letting those that did this horrible act win.

If you can't find the laughter today, it is understandable, but don't get down on others for trying to live and laugh each and every day.

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPippin

I sort of see the connection with the donuts - they are to remind us to donate blood!!! YUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!

Steph :)

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In the last one, all I see is a Stalin star.

(A Stalin star is essentially a red star. They were EVERYWHERE in Russia during the USSR. You were not an architect if your building did not include at least 10 of them.)

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~ L. K.

Lol . . . makes me want to watch South Park again.

Oh, and for the record, I do tell my friends when I hate the meatloaf. Otherwise they might feel compelled to serve it to me again, so it's best to get that out in the open. Personal issues with other people's blogs? Nah, that just means the commentary will be that much more interesting for the day. :)

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNick

their haerts are in the right place....i think

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

Hey don't look at us for the "patriotic donut holes." Unless the Confectioners' Secret Intelligence Service (hey, you didn't know that's what CSIS stands for?) is more cunning than I give them credit for, they'd have labelled them Timbits.

As for the second cake - I certainly get the need to do positive, enjoyable things today, and cake is certainly enjoyable, but putting the Towers on it just seems like kind of a poor choice.


September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I needed this laugh today. Thanks.

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs Mom

Thanks for the laugh. I'm watching some 9/11 tributes and needed a quick pick me up.

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Herings

why do all you people want blue balls? =D

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercx420ns

Ok. I knew nobody that was in the Twin Towers or who was even in New York when the Twin Towers were hit. Nevertheless, it's a sensitive topic with me...because I happen to love my country and when people seek to destroy it, I tend to have a problem with it. A few friends of mine sent me a picture of the Twin Towers burning today via a text message. I had a huge fit! I guess because I felt that it was a innapropriate picture to be sending around, not only today, but any day. Now, to see them on a cupcake cake (ptooey)...hmmm...I donno...I just feel that it isn't appropriate...maybe the "Never Fogot" is ok though. Sorry to be long winded...but I did enjoy the other pictures! :D

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Cake is for celebration.
Today is for contemplation.
CCC's are desecration.
'Nuff said.

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbusyjanet

What the F is that 3rd thing supposed to be? Really.

#2 is rather tacky, especially if it was packaged for sale on any 9/11 (this one or last years, whichever) and the fireworks... that's just not right.

wv: squent
If you squent at that third cake, you can sort of see a... oh. Never mind. It's nothing.

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I'm sorry but my first thought when I saw those donut holes is that they looked bloody! Some blue might have saved them!

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

These doughnuts look like blood was splatter all over them!!

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterurbangirl

Those aren't fireworks; just terrorist spiders.

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjennie w.

Maybe it's NBC's salute to fireworks.

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

Wow. Who puts the Twin Towers on a cake? A CUPCAKE cake? Surrounded by FIREWORKS?!? Does anybody think about the fact that they're going to have to break it apart and bite down? You don't have a cake at a funeral made to resemble the deceased.

Also, that cloud on the right looks like it has a face on it. Is it supposed to be a ghost? That's just a whole 'nother level of disturbing.

Frankly, I think blue donut holes would have been pretty unappetizing, though it would perhaps have lessened the blood-spattered look. Does the existence of these mean that other donut holes are UNpatriotic?

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Are those ladderball throws on that one cake?! An American tradition.. God bless America!

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Now let's just set one thing straight...if we were going for Canadian patriotism...they would DEFINITELY NOT be called "donut holes." Timbits. TIM-BITS. Red and white timbits, now that's Canadian. :)
And speaking of our secret plans to take over all your wreckerated cakes...those "dumbbells" look suspiciously similar in shape to Nathan Phillips Square...from an aerial view of course (that's Toronto City Hall for those of you who don't know the great white north).

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergategeek

The patriotic donut holes would go over big here. I live in a red state (red is even part of the official name) and the colors of the state university my son attends are red and white (or crimson and cream if you feel fancy). Patriotism is popular here, donut holes are even more popular and it looks like a big win, as long as no one thinks about 9/11. Just slap a "official licensed collegiate product" sticker over the expiration date and watch 'em sell.

I can't imagine a good reason for a 9/11 cake but I think that's the point.

September 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJerry

I come everyday to read your seriously hilarious commentary on the magnificent wreckage but never leave a comment. Today I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that I snorted Diet Pepsi out my nose when I read the "Canadians, I'm watching you" line. Thanks for the slightly painful laugh!


September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeedubya

I've read down through each and every comment and for once I didn't find someone else who had the same idea as I did..therefore, I will throw this out there. The dumbell cake looks like the Obama logo to me. If you look at the cake as a whole, that's what I see. Anyone else?

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMartha

lol FAIL to whoever said today wasn't Patriot Day. Time to buy a calendar.

And an even bigger FAIL on the TT cupcake cake. ::facepalm::

Thanks for the laugh today. :)

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMr. & Mrs.

Well as a Canadian let me assure about a few donut related things up here in the frozen wasteland:
1. Our donuts come from Tim Hortons
2. Tim's brews week coffee and its signage colours are brown and yellow
3. For a very long time Tim's made their dontus fresh- then the US company Wendy's (the burger business !?!) bought them and Tim's began deepfrying pre-made globs of dough, shipped in from central warehousing.
4. Some of us are still bitter
5. I am not one of those bitter Canuck's -you sent us Starbucks - all is forgiven.

PS - I will forever remember 9/11 and the phone call my brother in law made to my parents from the Pentagon that morning, relieving my family of our dread. I mourn for your losses. May God bless you and keep you.

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the "The More You Know" star thingy on the last one :-D

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTexGuy

Iflumpthereforeiam ... wow. this has to be an American thing right? I'm bang alongside the fact you have a cake for pretty much everything- personally i think cake makes everything better except your dress size... but the cakes with pictures of national tragedies? even with the addition of mutant spiders? ... only in America! I can't imagine blood soaked donut holes going down well over here either.

That said... like most of the world, I remember when the Towers went down, I remember where I was, and what I was doing... and that was not a good day. I wish our country (Britain) commemorated events with more... Americanness. But... without the CCC. Or the blood donuts.

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAsh

When I first saw the title of your blog and clicked on it, my heart sank. I figured there was no way that you could have any cake wrecks for today that would be "funny" - I figured this would be a very tasteless (excuse the pun of sorts) post, and was very glad to see that you pulled this off with respect, even WITH wrecks. (Because as I'm sure you intended, when I first started reading the post, I thought that today's tribute would not be wrecks, but you led into them very nicely and in a way that I didn't find offensive.) Not that I've ever found you to be inconsiderate, but this day hits such a tender spot with me. Even though I'm Canadian, we seem so intertwined with the US, that 8 years ago, "we" were attacked. It wasn't just the US that was attacked, and it wasn't just because we're neighbors, but the whole world felt attacked.

I guess to sum it up, I'm saying that you did an EXCELLENT job on this one.

P.S. Beware, that Canada is watching YOU, too! lol

And P.P.S. - Taylor's comment about Canada is awesome!

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Maybe the donut holes are Republican? (As in, from a "red state"?)

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

On that last one I saw "Never Foqet" which, if you try to pronounce it....

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermio

the donut holes look like those edible eyeball candy you see at Halloween - yuck!!

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

The Twin Towers cake really makes me uncomfortable. How tacky. Who could eat that?

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

Those donut holes remind me of a scene from the Grindhouse film "Planet Terror" -- eeewww!

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I saw little yellow and red spiders before I saw fireworks. They're kinda cute... Until you see the two towers underneath them.....NEVER FOGET!

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKella

Re: patriotic donut holes : Damn! FOILED!!

(I'm Canadian, ha ha, I know)

September 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterL'Hélène

Well blue donut holes wouldn't work because it would look too much like mold, and we can't have people being disgusted when Yeah, anyway, stay classy Wal-Mart!

September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

I find those bloody donut holes incredibly disturbing.

September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

9/11 is not about patriotism or about our troops. It certainly isn't about freedom. Many people died and so did a part of New York. Cakes to commemorate the date are offensive and disrespectful. It's ridiculous to have a Pearl Harbor cake or one recalling acts of genocide in Rwanda. These awkward attempts at capitalizing on an act of terrorism that deeply affected a lot of people is wrong and not something that should be taken so lightly. I appreciate the banter and sillyness on cakewrecks but not for this day.

September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBoxerNYC

why am i the only one wondering what civil war cannonballs (obviously fresh from the battle field) have to do with 9-11?

September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Eh... are the donut holes supposed to be coated with the blood of the people killed by terrorists? No disrespect, but... wow.

September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My 3-year-old son often views the cake wrecks with most kids any combo of sugar, butter and fun colors is appealing. And he's usually really good about identifying what the cake is (or looks like). however, when he got to the third cake (Uncle Sam...) he looked totally stumped and when I said "What is that?" he replied, "ummm, its....ummm, i think....Mom, stop showing me weird pictures!"

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNoa

never forget refers to vets, DUH!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

p.s. shut the heck up about canada

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMr.


I'm totally confused. Did Jen offend you somehow?


September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

That's not the Twin Towers! It's the Sear's Tower and the Handcock Center shot at a very odd angle!

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If you leave the donut holes alone long enough, the "blue" problem will take care of itself....

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMagpie

Perhaps the Patriotic donut holes are only red and white so nobody has to deal with being given Blue Balls. They were being sensitive!!!

September 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Tony says;

I guess these prove that here are some really stupid people out there making our pastries. Honestly, Who would put the towers on a cake? That's just in poor taste. And who misspells forget....on a giant cookie!!! How do these people make it to work?

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm not at all sure what "Foget" means, but it probably IS something you should never do.

Making cakes like these, on the other hand, is something no one should ever, ever do.

October 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercensusgary

I think those "fireworks" are spiders. Or bodies. Or both. And why the fireworks, anyway? Are these people terrorists? And why no wreckage? DID IT JUST HEAL ITSELF?!?!?! Waaaaaaaaaaaaay too Everlost for me.

Peace, love, and cheese to all of you out there.

November 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKati, the freak of nature

I'm pretty sure number two is a submarine; since there are some hawaiian palm trees and lots of water. Think outside the box. ;D

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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