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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Sep192009

To Err is Human, To Arr is Pirate

Ahoy, ye mangy landlubbers! Do ye not know what today is?

Oh, ye be wanting a hint, do ye?

Blimey, that poop deck makes it clear as bilge water, aye? It's International Talk Like A Pirate Day, a'course!

Now, how many doubloons am I offered for this winsome wench? Ye did ask for the redhead, did ye not?

Nay?

What else could ye be wanting, ye scurvy dogs? P'raps...some scurvy dogs?

Skull and crossbones me arse: Those be the Dread Pirate Scotties!

Avast, every Buccaneer needs a shipshape Man O' War, savvy?

Blow me down, what hornswagglery is this? The bilge-sucking scallywag responsible must be found, hung from the yardarm, keelhauled, and then made to walk the plank! Arrr!

OR...we could let the Kraken send him down to Davy Jones' locker:


Aye, me hearties; dead men fell no sails.

Allison F., Mandy R., Alana F., Suzanne B., & Laura G., I've never been to Boston in the fall. How 'bout you?

- Related Wreckage: Dead Men May Tell No Tales, But Wrecked Cakes Sure Do

« Sunday Sweets: Shiver Me Sweets | Main | Two Thumbs Up! »

Reader Comments (118)

Aaargh! White Scotties be WESTIES!
Dread Pirate Westies!!! Me Westie be angered at anyone who calls him a Scottie!!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my goodness! I'm a long time lurker, first time poster, but the Veggie Tales reference was priceless. You have an awesome site here Jen. I've gotten friends hooked on it too. It rocks.

Oh, and *ahem* Arrrrr matey!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSherri

haha! Great cakes today!

My sister just decorated a cake for her 15 yr old son. And he wanted a Cake Wrecks themed cake!

And...he got it!
http://a-scrapaddict.blogspot.com/2009/09/happy-birthday-nathan.html

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan Coish

My husband is also a direct descendant of Henry Morgan and (gotta love this) is a Veggie Tales fanatic!

Oh I've never squashed a pancake/And I hate to clean the bathroom/And I've never been to Boston in the fall.

An' a-1, an' a-2, an' a-3:
Oh wherrrrrrre is my hairbrush?

WV: Folorimp, the sound the redheaded CCC makes when thrown over the side

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPiano Diva

Arr, there be much appreciat'in of the veggies on this scurvy board! Wuz not expect'in that!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Wow... those are terrible. At least the pirate CCC is quite happy...

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterリン姫

Yeah that's definitely Sauron's pirate ship.

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFruppi

Arrrrrrrr, I was SURE there'd be pirates in these waters today, mateys! :-) I, however, AM in Boston and it's (almost) fall. With wrecks like this, it's no wonder the rum's always gone!

WV: difish - what the pirates shout overboard when they're really hungry

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeanne

I will now be singing the Pirates song all day now. Thank you for that! I love me some VeggieTales!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersusie

Arrrr I be lovein the Dread Pirate Scotties. I hears they leaves no survivors.

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Quirky Confectioner

That's definitely an eye of Sauron, and mega bonus points for the veggies.

Everybody's got a water buffalo, yours is fast but mine is slow and where they get them I don't know but, everybody's got a water buffalo-ooooooooooo.

WV: Twordas. Used in a sentence: The water buffalo is coming twordas!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGeekgirl

Awesome commentary - absolutely perfect!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Bradley's

Me thinks them thar Scotties actually be Westies, or else the poor little woofers been bleached bone white by salt and sea. Arr, Westies hates beein' mistook fer Scotties.

A sailor went to sea sea sea
to see what he could see see see
but all that he could see see see
was the bottom of the deep blue
sea sea sea!!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLulubelle B

At first glance, I thought the first one was a "Sims" cake. That's just a wreck in itself. But it's pirates! Is there a pirate pack for the Sims?

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The CCC is just very sad, and very ick.
~Amy B

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Oh my gosh. I've been having a sucky day, the pirates who don't do anything reference just made me feel a whole lot better. You're my hero.(Course, now it's going to be in my head all day. But at least I'm happy.)

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLily

I'm sure Pastafarians everywhere approve of this post. :)

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNick

John-

I agree...the french peas are the greatest.

Great blog as always!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

"I think you look like Captain Crunch."

~Mr. Lunt

*wheeeeeeeeeee*

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie B.

Well I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall! Outstandingly AWESOME!! Veggie Tales reference cracked me up!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPirate'sMommy

I also appreciated the wrecks (and the veggie tales reference), but too bad you're not all in Boston in the fall, because there is going to be a pirate-themed cabaret in town tonight (for the holiday, of course), and it is going to be EPIC.

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergillis

#2: SpongeBob BlobPants!!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLJ

I DID know it was International Talk Like A Pirate Day actually! What a fun "holiday". I'm confused why the ship cake fell apart though - they made that TOTALLY wrong. Haha, I guess that's a ship-wreck. Arr matey!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRandomly G-Licious

THANK YOU for the International Talk Like a Pirate Day fun! These cakes take the - well, maybe they don't, but your references do!

A few months ago I was thinking that now there are "pirates" in the waters around Somalia, are we going to be able to keep having so much fun bein' an' actin' an' talkin' like PIRATES? or will we be deemed INSENSITIVE? ARRR!!!!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawnsemble

I can tell those "professionals" have very little artistic experience--I doubt any of them have ever painted daisies on a big, red, rubber ball. But then again, neither have I. Nor have I bathed in yogert. And I don't look good in leggings.
Maybe I just don't get it.
[sings] And I've never been to Boston in the faaaaaaalll!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmmy

I don't get the Veggietales or the Eye of Sauron references, but that's okay, cuz I just enjoyed the heck out of all the pirate speak. Way to go Jen for taking the time to look it all up and have it make some sort of sense. I'm just glad someone didn't airbrush Jack Sparrow onto a CCC!!!
I'm still trying to figure out if #4 is a cake someone dropped and tried to cover it up with the piroutte cookies????

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkrazykris

Arr, these be the worst wrecks to ever shiver me timbers. Well done, lassie!

Although, why in all the seven seas be there SNAKES on cake #1? I heard tell that snakes be on planes, but pirate ships?

Favorite Pirate Joke (Better if you get another person involved):
Q: What be a pirate's favorite Roman god?
A: Marrrrrs.
Q: Where does a pirate like to find his cookies?
A: Jarrrrrs.
Q: What be a pirate's favorite celestial body?
A: Starrrrr.
And the kicker:
Q: What be a pirate's favorite mode of transportation?
They Answer: Carrrrrs
You Answer: No, a pirate ship. DUH!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I guess that Pippi Longstocking COULD be considered a pirate "worthy" of CCC?
Nah!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCanCan (Mom Most Traveled)

It looks as though the eye of sauron has set sail in the second to last one. Huh.

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie Thatcher

I LOVE the title to this post. I'm still chuckling.

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterknaegeli

Oh man, is that Aquafresh on the first cake?

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

OK, I got the last reference and I'm not sure whether to be frightened or not. Thank you Bible-thumper classmates!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?

Don't know? Why, it's a buccaneer!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMollie

Hey look!! I found a quarter!!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

"We wants the redhead! We wants the redhead!"

That plus the "fell no sails" pun made this Disney geek happy. :)

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dread Pirate Scotties!!! HA! That one really got me!

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFrankie

Lord of the Rings, Veggie Tales, Pirates, and The Princess Bride in one post.

Sheesh, that's impressive!

WV Pairats: French Pirates? Twin Pirates? Twin French Rat Pirates?

Hard to say.

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

The first cake is just distracting me. I keep trying to figure out why those pirates are playing hockey with giant eels (a little help here? who's winning?).

And if you ask me to do anything, I will just tell you - "I don't do anything"

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I would really like to know where you keep getting those pics of the hideous cupcake cakes! Does a shop that sell these monstrosities actually exist? How does it stay in business? Do people actually buy those cakes??!!

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPriscilla

arrr, this has GOT to be one of me fave posts of all time! i agree that that be the eye of Sauron, those dead pirate scotties arrrrr hilarious, and VeggieTales? Jen, you ROCK!!! (in a good way, not in a rocking the boat way) why, i am still laughing me head off! i must agree with thine hubby, though, that the French Peas' "Keep Walking" is the very best of the Veggie songs.

wv: hyterb- these wrecks and comments are making me hyterb[ventalate] with laughter!

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

haha I was so enthralled by your pirate-speak that actually looking at the wrecks was an afterthought. I have the urge to break out in a pirate accent pretty much all the time but never have the guts.

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterValerie

Yay, Veggie Tales!

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

Veggietales! WHOOOO!

Is that bird poop on the first cake? Wiggling bird poop? Or maybe they're very small slugs. *shrugs* Whatever those squiggles are, whoever came up with them could make millions selling them as a diet aid because one look at them and I totally lost my appetite.

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhoppytoad79

my favorite part was at the end with the Veggie Tales reference. The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything are so funny!

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Bwah ha ha! I own both a Bob the Tomato tote bag and a Larry the Cucumber tote bag. Both of them are amazing hits as I walk around a university campus with either one of them. Therefore, I literally howled with laughter with the Veggie Tales reference! (And yes, the French Peas "take the cake!" with their accents! I teach English as a foreign language (EFL) in China and I deal with accents all the time. The French Peas help illustrate how important correct pronunciation is! "Are you sinking?" or "Are you thinking?"

Cheerio!

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVickie

That first cake looks like the pirates are playing ice hockey against a bunch of Shrieking Eels.

And that last one ... "no need to expose your superstructure!"

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Then I thought who gives a (darn) if all the jobs are gone, I'm going to be a Pirate ... on the river Saskatchewan!

As for that winsome wench in the 2nd picture ... 6 it be, 6 bottles of rum, that is.

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSyracuseWolvrine

"Arrr? It means 'hello', 'good-bye', 'peace'...it's like 'Shalom', but for pirates."
(And while we're on the subject, Happy New Year to all our Jewish friends!)
I, like so many others, give great props for the Veggie Tales referece and say, with great shame, that in spite of living in MA for five years, I still have never been to Boston in the fall.

WV: Arwoofu - The sound of a sneezing pirate dog.

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

OMG LOL
these r so funny I loove the dead dogs! Poor dogs but it is funny they really do look like thay r dead, so hilarius!
~Jenn

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Veggietales! I love all of the Silly Songs but the pirates who don't do anything is my faviorite! Bravo

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDutch Girl

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