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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Sep032009

Blame Decopac

These days many bakeries dream of the day when cake decorating will consist of two steps:

1) Ice the cake, and
2) sell it.

See, actually decorating a cake requires time and effort, and therefore is discouraged where possible. To help bakers achieve this lofty goal, a few enterprising companies (we're not naming any names here....except for that one in the title, of course) are manufacturing all-inclusive instant "decorating" kits.

Here's an example:


Cute, huh? As you can see, plastic is SO in right now. Not only does it save on frosting, but it also allows anyone with the skills of a semi-trained monkey to "decorate" a cake. It's foolproof! All you need is a rounded lump frosted brown, and you're good to go - just stick the plastic bits in! Who could possibly mess that up?

[sigh]

Alright, Wreckerators, now you've actually got me curious: Can you possibly make this look any worse?

Wow. I'm impressed. This looks just like the carpet adhesive we put down last Spring.

Now how about something for the cat lovers haters out there?

From this...


To this!

Taylor G., Tracy F., & Alex M., apparently there really is more than one way to skin a cat.

- Related Wreckage: Going to the Dogs

« I Think I'll Have the Salad Today... | Main | If You Want Something Done Right... »

Reader Comments (180)

I still confuses me how you can go from a round cake to a CC and still think it looks good!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

The sample cakes, total cheats though they may be, are actually pretty darn cute. Leave it to wreckorators to out-idiot the idiot-proof cuteness.

WV: derice - After reading Cake Wrecks while eating risotto, Claudia had to derice her computer screen.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercoeurdechoeur

they just need to put some tire marks across the basks and it would be much more realistic.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

Mmmmm - squished pets!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaylabean

*sigh* why are they all CCCs? Why can't bakeries just admit defeat in this area, and stop with the CCC madness? Because these, as Taylor said, do indeed look like happy roadkill...

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

"Mommy, that kitty's napping with Jesus!"

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTamara

Who wants to EAT a cat or a dog?!?! The decopack designers need to think of things that are appealing to eat. Giant strawberry? Sure. Big fake hamburger that's actually cake? Cute idea! A big flower pot with fake dirty and gummy worms? Ok.

But a cat and/or a dog!?

And cat or dog roadkill is even worse, obviously.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda in Austin

Both my cat and my dog are horrified at these CCCs (ptuooi!) However, truth be told, my dog flattens himself out with one leg behind him, so he can kind of resemble the first two. Not quite so flat though. And only when wearing a halloween mask.

WV-curylver - license plate for a Indian food fan.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

For some reason, I REEEAALLLYY have to go pee now.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Hahah...OMG. Remember those roadkill cafe t-shirts? It reminds me of that. That flattened kitty would make another good T-shirt.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlina

Cat-skin and dog-skin rugs - so trendy!!!

Urp.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

All I see looking at those is some poor cartoon cats & dogs that ran off a cliff and went SPLAT, Wil E Coyote-style.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjustme

Oh, the imfamous plastic junk on cakes...how I detest them !

However, I must admit the sample cakes are kinda cute !

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

That last one is very cat-skin rug. Eeks.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChildren of the 90s

They look less like cute little animals and more like dead animal rugs. Uck!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl@SomewhatCrunchy

I'll be charitable and assume the wreckerators did not intend to produce a tribute to road-kill, but rather are perspective-challenged - 3-dimensional figures appear two-dimensional. I sometimes run into this problem when teaching 6th-graders the difference b/w a square and a cube in Math. Well, if I have really sloooowwww 6th graders. Most of 'em figure it out right away. As could the average monkey, trained or untrained. Not that I'm comparing 6th graders to monkeys, or anything. I'm comparing these wreckerators to 6th graders AND monkeys. And yes, that frosting is reminiscent of industrial adhesive. Yum, yum.

Oh, and terri s - please don't give these people any more ideas about naked babies on baked goods! "Hey, just what this needs - a naked baby! That'll make it perfect!"

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCake_or_Death

I have four resident cats (only two of them mine, so no, I am not the Crazy Cat Lady....yet) and at least three of them are capable of adopting this posture. One of them, as a matter of fact, seems to enjoy sleeping that way. But then again, he always was a little strange.

However, when a cat smiles like that, I immediately start searching the kitchen for missing food items, or the rest of the house for inexplicable acts of destruction. Smiling cat=danger!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGladys

The second one looks like a dog from behind, but then WHAT? There is a head coming from the dogs butt?!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNathalina

how is no one not noticing the "tire tread marks" on the second puppy wreck? and to have the tongue sticking out to boot! LMAO!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermandy_Reeves

to be fair, my 18 month old correctly identified them as Dogs and kitty cats.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHosander

(dear God PLEASE don't ruin Cake Wrecks by referencing Cute Overload and their unbelievably annoying lingo, I beg of you...)

The road kill cat is perfect: that is if it's Alf's birthday.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

Yeah, as nearly 2/3 of the people mentioned. the cupecakes look like road kill. But I have never seen happier roadkill. Three times overdriven by trucks?! No problem!!

Always look on the bright sight of life *sings*

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara Otterst├Ątter

Honey? Is that a cake, or the rug from Aunt Suzie's den?

Gah. Who takes the time to iron their dogs any more, anyway?

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermadrobins

omg it looks like roadkill

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLivingDeadNurse

No no, these are important "Congratulations on your operation" cakes.

Spay and neuter your animals!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's a cat / dog pancake!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterS3XinthePantry

sigh...

:'(

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany

I am going to name this cake "happy cat"

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmar

That was more than a little disturbing. Seriously.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

Or cat and dog rugs.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

I have an overwhelming urge to buy one of these disasters and drop it off at the nearest PETA office.

WV: remedish - a drug that doesn't quite cure what ails you.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Luxuries

And what's better - some will actually think it's cute.....

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeaLady

Oh, those are just awful. AW. FUL.

The 'real' ones are actually not that bad, but these? Uuuuuuugghh. UUUUUUUUUGGGHH.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Cupcake cakes are a sin against reality.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeddygon

Nothing says "I love cats" like stretching one out like a cat skin rug!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercraftyashley

LOL!!! i think the icing color on the flattened dog looks like what was in my kids' diapers when they were infants.......yellow, seedy, poo. eww.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Road kill is the first thing that comes to mind. Bleh.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlli

poor little dead cat

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

I am throughly relieved to discover that nearly every one of the comments left here agree that these things look like ROADKILL. So not appealing.

And the carpet adhesive remark? Dead on. (Pun intended) I work for flooring contractors, let me tell you, the sight or smell of freshly scraped carpet adhesive is NOT appealing on or around food products. Ick Ick Ick.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteradelicatezephyr

Mmmmm flayed dog, just what I've always wanted to eat on my birthday...

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermeganrk

Has anyone noticed the CCCCC (crushed cat cupcake cake) has a detached tail?! It's like the "decorator" subconsciously realized the cat was toast and added that detail to enhance the effect.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstudiorose

oH!!!! That cat was the best! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

Wow, it looks like someone ran them over.Twice. But at least they are happy.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

All I can do is echo everyone else. Roadkill Cafe!

~Amy B

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Two words: steam. roller.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

Roadkill! Ha! It's genius.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

i think that rocks! it's hilarious!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterArmanika

Had I been drinking anything when I saw that cat-wreck, my monitor would need a good cleaning. Whatinthehell???

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNorkio

That cat looks like a Mack Truck ran it over (but it looks happy about it!)

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeachGirl

Did anyone else notice the little sticker on the sample cat that says, "For display only. Not for consumption?" The wreckarators must have taken that quite literally and made something that no one would want to eat!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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