My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I Think I'll Have the Salad Today...

Since the book tour is only three weeks away, John has started a new diet. I was going to join him, but then I had the following revelations:

1) At its core, humor is about being honest.
2) You guys probably expect me to be both funny and honest in person.
3) Losing weight would make me someone I'm not (ie a person who loses weight), and therefore is intrinsically DIShonest.
4) Oooh, cupcakes!

Anyhoo, so while I'm not on a diet myself, I still want to support John any way I can. Some people might try cooking him a healthy meal, or inviting him for walks. Me? I find gross cakes to help kill his appetite.

Ta Da!

I bet you're feeling thinner already, aren't you? And if not, you may find this next one "erupting" with diet inspiration:

Mmm. That's the stuff.

John's diet requires him to cut down on carbs, so I know he's going to love Barbie's meat blanket here:

Now, I realize this may have ruined pepperoni and moldy raw roast beef for most of you, but trust me: You'll thank me later.

And speaking of low-carb diets, I hear you also see a lot of these when you're on them:

Or is that only if you cheat and eat a bunch of raisins? Hm...

What's that? You want one last word of diet inspiration? Okey doke. Here goes:

[swinging pocket watch] "You are feeling sleepy. Veerrry sleepy. Now, you will never crave skinned leopard - or cake - ever agaiiin."

Madison C. & Chris V., Emily H., Meredith, Stephanie M., and Anony M., maybe there IS something to this Cake Wrecks diet plan. I totally passed up a cupcake for a candy bar just now.

- Related Wreckage: Better Dieting Through Cake

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Reader Comments (108)

The grill/burger cccake isn't really the worst thing ever...

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake wouldn't have been that bad if it didnt have the whole antennae sticking out of the top tear thing going on. Also maybe if it were slightly less shiny and metallic looking.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarlie

How exactly is losing weight Dishonest? I lost 70 lbs, kept it off, and don't feel like I lied to anyone. Lying ABOUT your weight, now that is dishonest!

Wow, the concept of "love eruptions" opens up a whole new realm of cake decorating.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

Okay, I have seen worse things on the blog, but these things do really not look like they are edible.

The Barbie-cake was especially awful. Old plastic toys and food simply doesnt match!!

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara Otterstätter

I was recently introduced to your site which has resulted in becoming an avid fan. In turn, it has rekindled my cravings for cake (thanks). Body for Life is a fantastic "diet" plan if you want to lose weight but still have your cake and eat it, too. You get a "free" day to eat whatever you want. Best of luck to John!

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

What on earth did they cover the 'sleepy' cake with. It looks like that fruit 'leather' stuff that little kids like to eat.

How about pulling out a cap while we're at it.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbaSue

I am totally clueless WHAT Jay's "cake???" is supposed to be... any ideas?
I think the glimpses of netting (slip, skirt)peeking from under her covers was the worst part. How do you eat around, through? netting?
I am glad my dad doesn't know how to access blogs, Cake Wrecks would be the end of him... he made amazing cakes (1950-2000)and his Barbie cakes (think 60's) were to die for. In his day he made Wilton cakes look chunky and plain...

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Valinda

Are those paperclips hanging from the last cake?

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

What else is erupting? Blech.

Angie (from over at

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Ugh, all that black frosting on that grill CCC just turns my stomach.

Thanks, Jen. I missed breakfast this morning, but definitely not missing it now.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDNfromMN

I think Jay's cake is celebrating his mountain/rock climbing hobby? Between the flag on top and the blue frosting rope coming down.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDNfromMN

Jay's cake reminds me of the Great Whole House Steam Cleaning Incident of 2008 (occured after my dog ate raw pork scraps out of the garbage.)

That's just nasty.

WV grapt- I don't thnk the wreckorators have grapt the concept that cakes should look nice.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

I'm still a little confused as to what all is going on with the first picture...I get that there's a grill...and a spatula on the left...what is on the right? A pot of molten lava?

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSwss

How can people even consider eating any of those? Yikes.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrittanie

Bless Jay's heart. That cake was for his *9th* birthday? Children shouldn't have to endure that type of torture. Looks like he's doomed to a lifetime of bad cakes and CCC's.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Am speechless. That bbq ccc was about the worst cake ever! FOr real. I don't know if it's the "burnt" frosting, or that black charcoal log WITH the long poop log on top, that makes me gag.

Or wait, maybe it's that raw steak on the right.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

OMG is that sposed to be a BBQ?

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuburban Princess

haha tee he he!

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucille Ball Jr.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

p.s. I greatly despise the word 'erupt'. It kinda makes my eye twitch.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterb*sherrie

What IS that first one. It's disgusting...

and the Barbie cake, the blanket totally looks like some old salami to me.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterリン姫

That first one is supposed to be a grill? I thought it was a pile of barrels with street signs on them, next to a shovel and a disemboweled rat.

You need to give us some context on these!

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFather Swanky

Two questions: what THE HELL is that first cake? i can't even make a guess.

WHAT THE HELL are those things dangling off the top of the leopard print cake?

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda in Austin

Holy crap, I'm so getting MYSELF a meat blanket! What could be better than sleeping under the gorgeous aroma of old salami??

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKrys

I can't even figure out what the first one is, my eyes won't focuse on it properly.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTanya

You know, I often get to craving foods I see repeatedly. But for some reason, despite reading Cakewrecks religiously, I somehow never crave cake...

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGaladriel

I'm not entirely sure what that first cake represents, but as an avid videogamer, I'm pretty confident the thing in its lower right corner is an Oblivion Gate.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What the *heck* is that first one supposed to be?!

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy Leigh

Jen, we love you just the way you are. Keep on rockin' with your bad self. Good luck on the tour!

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Amazing! The grocery store I work at sells a similar cupcake cake to the grill one, but our's actually looks appetizing and cute. This...this looks kind of sloppy.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Poor Jay, not only was his cake just plain weird, but it came with a girly tablecloth. Poor thing.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I'm glad I read the viewer comments first. I thought the first cake was supposed to be a hockey player! But I couldn't quite make it come out right. Come to that, trying to make it into BBQ grill doesn't make it come out right either.
As far as the eruptions cake--that could go for anything from celebrating a climb up Mount Pele to acne. (I have never seen an a cake in celebration of acne, but I'm sure, human nature being what it is, there is one out there somewhere--perhaps as a groom's cake.)

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

The last cake looks like it's comprised of the alien meat slabs from Torchwood, wrapped in leopard print. Yummy.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterantoinette jeanine


That first one is totally an Oblivion Gate!


September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The red thing on the right on the "grill" cake is supposed to be a ketchup bottle.

I kind of like the "Erupting with Love" one. It made me smile and feel warm fuzzies.

The leopard cake looks like it has fishing lures on the top.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Is Barbie covered in Pimento loaf and sleeping on a pillow of sausage? Is this really a cake?

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

That grill picture is gross. You certainly made me loose my appetite!

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

I am SOOO headed to a Bed Bath & Beyond to shop for my own pepperoni bedspread. AWESOME!!

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

The meat blanket on the Barbie cake is truly disturbing -- but her "pillow" is the color of a rotten strawberry and strangely pockmarked. I don't want to think about what it's made cake for me no pepperoni either.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxzr

Is the thing on the right on the first cake a ketchup bottle squirting all over the place? And what's written on the "cheese"?

wv: pritia
I don't think any of these cakes are pritia then the others - they're all fugly.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSquidley

You never fail to make me laugh! Hope you enjoyed the candy bar!

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSnowcatcher

It's BURGERS? At first glance I thought that the top cupcake monstrosity was a bad attempt at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Then it looked like the...what I assume is *cheese* was placards saying "GO" on them, so maybe people in the bleachers? Burgers, I never would have thought.

WV: concoc

As in, who the heck thinks up these hideous concoctions, or thinks they're remotely appetising or edible??

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOphelia

I love that so people are commenting on "why does Barbie's blanket look like pepporoni/nasty meat/moldy fruit roll-ups/etc.

I'm still trying to get past "Who wanted a cake of Barbie in bed and what ever for?!??" myself :)

p.s. hmm...thanks, I may never eat again. Especially after Poo Mountain! :P

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

Seriously, going on a diet right before a book tour including free cake and lots of cupcakes would just be torture. Your body would probably rebel and the first cupcake you ate would have you gaining 5 lbs. ;)

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter*Amber*

:p Ok it took me a while to figure out the first one was grilled burger or something with a ketchup bottle on the right. And maybe a sauce brush on the left?

;) And thanks DNfromMN for explaining Jays mountain climbing pile of....cake.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGoof

Actually, the erupting one isn't all that bad, design wise. Very poor choice on the colour of the mountain though.

PS - meat blanket is all well and good but if you really want diet inducing food, look up 'head cheese'. The wikipedia page has a very good (read- disgusting) picture for it.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

Wow, is that like "Booty Call Barbie" with the come hither wave and sly smile? Yikes. Talk about a piece of meat lol

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

You've officially put me off everything that has passed its expiration date in my refrigerator.

*tilts head sideways*
Are those PAPER CLIPS????

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterComfyDenim

Ewww...non-edible cakes for sure.
The first one is just hideous, BBQ charcoal, a spatula and an oozing bottle of ketchup.

The last one isn't that bad except for the supposed "cake jewelry" The color and pattern really is icky too !

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

I'm always dying to know if people actually eat these disasters!?

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer B

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