My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Labor of Love

Sure, you could go with rubber duckies and baby blocks, but that's sooo last decade. Today's shower cakes are all about the biology of baby-making: tasty and educational!

And while you're at it, why not congratulate dad, too?

Of course, mom also did her part:

(Whoah, whoah, whoah! TMI, Dad, TMI!)

You could even illustrate the whole process with the aid of disturbing plant analogies:

(Raise your hand if you're going to have nightmares about daisies sprouting Alien-style from your midsection tonight. Anyone? Anyone? Just me? Alrighty, then.)

Granted, the process doesn't always start exactly the same way:

Thank goodness that cup is labeled. Otherwise, we'd have some concerned coffee drinkers on our hands right about now.

And what does all this love math equal?

(No, your eyes do not deceive you: that IS a Fetal Bite cookie in that there uterus cake. Excellent.)

And that brings us to the Big, Life-Changing Moment!


Yep, I'm changed for life.

Casey D., Heidi D., Hillary M., Kristin J., Jess, Shari W., & Tiffany D., when you're ready to have "the talk" with your kids, feel free to come back here for visual aids.

- Related Wreckage: First Impressions

NOTE: No, I'm not I'm trying to tell you something with this recent rash of baby shower posts. Are you forgetting this post? And this one? I just figured baby cakes in January made sense: new year, new babies? Yes? No?

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Reader Comments (219)

I actually sat there and blinked repeatedly at the last one.

wv: crant - I crant believe some of these cakes!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

oh. no. they. di'uhn't.

our society has completely lost any sense of propriety.

also, it makes me ever-so-thankful that i no longer have my tilly.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

If you turn that last one upside-down, it looks like a big lumpy serial killer coming towards you! Eeyow!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thank GOD I am past reproduction so I never have a chance of anyone giving me a cake like this!

But I must say, my boss is named Jason and I soooooo want to forward that picture to him.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Gives my morning cup o' Joe a new twist...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBetty

These wrecks are just wrong.
NO swimming.
Everybody KNOWS storks bring babies... uumm or "babies are found under the cabbage patch"-
Neither has water, OR body parts.


January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why on EARTH are the boobs on that last cake as big as the pregnant belly? It's like Lolo Ferrari giving birth... Creepy, creepy, creepy cakes!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNaantje

I am just totally appalled. Why would anyone order cakes like that? How could those possibly be taken as anything other than inappropriate? How? Tell me, somebody, HOW?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSallie

I think Richard is right. The last cake looks like a cake for a new Ob-Gyn.

I actually think they are all pretty funny and cute lol I'm kinda of demented that way

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTainda

Wow. I'm greatly distubred right now!!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShadow

Um, that last cake reminds me of the ending of the first season of "The Kingdom" (the original Danish series)... I NEVER want to have kids (but not because of these cakes, which I find mostly funny)

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhattalahutta

How come she got a slice with sperm on it but I didn't? It's not fair.

Ok those sperms cakes are just wrong.
"Mum why are there tadpoles on that cake?"

Actually I found most of them amusing. I am one of those weird homebirthing mums who has a placenta in my freezer so that last one hardly disturbs me at all. But I must admit, the uterus one with the cookie fetus really bothers me. Particularly the cookie fetus. I just can't imagine standing around the pregnant belly woman, smiling at her bump whilst making casual conversation and crunching on the replica of the babe to be.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNiecey

The last two are the worst. How dreadful. Do the people who provide these cakes for the celebrations actually think these cakes are funny? If I was having a baby shower and received a cake like this, I'd probably burst into tears. And I am known as the Fun One!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBetty

I love how the plant looks like a... plant >_>

And these baby shower posts have been great motivation! I'm currently helping to plan a shower for my cousin and I'm in charge of the cake :)

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter-Sea Nymph-

I am absolutely speechless.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMidnight Ramblings

Oh. My. God. Is this a new form of birth control?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJelliDonut

OH GOOD GOD! The last one is leaving me struggling to remember why I want to give birth.

But the Jason sperm with goggles is kind of cute.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

Eye bleach, please! No one in their right mind would make a cake like these, let alone serve it.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Makes sense to me! I'm due in the end of Feb and am having baby showers this month... I'm sending these posts to my hostesses and saying "Nothing like this, please!"

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBec

You took the words right out of my mouth: "Auuugggghh!!!"

Except for the uterus cake..."Oh my gOOdness!"

I gotta love the rainbow-striped specimen cup cake, though! And the biology lesson cake, I have to admit, is rather well executed. Though I have strong reservations about that ladybug trying to crawl up inside Mom's severed leg...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

But how are there REALLY that many bad cakes in the world? I would think that your supply would start drying up, but nooooo.... still going strong. I mean, COME ONE!

I can safely say I'd have NO problem cutting into it.

Eating, however, would be a different story.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPoofleia

That first one reminds me of a candle I used to have. It was called the Happy Sperm candle.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorethanamom2four

At least the first two cakes have plenty of protein!


January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdharmamama

Wow! Talk about visual Birth Control...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

Oh wow, haven't you always wanted a nice slice of uterus cake??? Thanks,I'll have my cake without the sperm. What is that with the daisy & the pod, the reproduction of the Green Giant & the birth of that Sprout character, ho, ho, ho, Green Giant, indeed! Oh that's so disturbing.

That glass on the rainbow cake I thought was hard liquor, guess I'm still celebrating New Years in my mind, that or I need a good stiff drink after looking at those cakes, well, it's 5pm somewhere in the world. Who order's these?!?!? What happened to wanting your guests to ooh & ahhh because it's a beautiful well thought out cake, rather than squirming in discomfort & playing hot potato with the piece that has sperm on it?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCan't See Sheep

omg, thanks for showing us these horrible, terrible cakes. I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life!!!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay I don't think I should look at stuff like this before lunch, ummm and after lunch is not a good idea either

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOnyx

I don't get it, does that first cake have a layer of plastic on top? (Look at that sheen!)

..Well, I guess protection is always a good idea.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

Goggles, ok, for a swim sports competition.

But pushing up daisies? Wrong phrase association. (Invasion of the pod people?)

Blue eyes staring in horror. OMG, but could've been worse, like, footprints.

WV: Bithe -- "R" you kidding?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Oh dear. I'm nearly 8 months pregnant and haven't had a shower yet... I'm almost afraid of what my mother comes up with. She reads this blog though, so maybe she won't do something terrible.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my!
But remember each cake represents a group of people celebrating the birth of a new I'll just be happy for them.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhappy times

Does anyone else feel creeped out that the sperm on cake one have eyes??? But as the cartoonish sperm on cake 2 has eyes also, it just makes it cuter, not creepier. If cake's printed edible paper wasn't wrinkled, I'd possibly eat it but the last 4 are just darn disturbing! Not cute, not cute!

wv: aboilu- I'll have abouilu have a girl!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

Good Lordy Lord, with lashings of Lordliness, and Lordy sprinkles!

This made me laugh out loud even harder than those cakes did.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mmmmm... fetalicious.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last one was down-right distasteful, not to mention plumb ugly. Why are these cakes even created to begin with? On another note, I enjoy reading your blog and I thank you for sharing these awesome cakes!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmm. They used to just show videos in sixth grade sex ed classes. I feel like pastry form is much more effective and um ... graphic.

As a currently-pregnant Wreckie fan, I can only hope that nobody throws me a shower, if that's the caliber of cake that is out there now. (That said, if someone wants to order me the awesomeness of the Darth Vader & baby cake, I will totally accept!)

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

As someone who underwent a lot of fertility treatments to get pregnant I find these cakes hilarious. Kind of wishing I was pregnant again just so I could have one.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yep, I'm with everyone totally freaked out about the pea pod turned vagina.

I think you've officially discovered a new form of birth control.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterContemporary Troubadour

Wow- I will so get my husband a sperm cake when the time comes!! But we do have a special sense of humor... or I like to torture...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Holy CRAP!! Who comes UP with these things?

And seriously, how the heck does somebody cut up AND THEN SERVE those last two cakes? I mean really??? "Here, honey -- have a nipple. Oh, you prefer belly button -- no problem."


January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Suddenly I envy all of you who are post-menopausal. Oh dear Lord never, never let me get pregnant SCREW the survival of the species...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShalen

eeeeeeww! "um honey... i definitely have a headache tonight...."

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMalisa Twelves

Cuteness aside... WHY is the sperm wearing goggles?????? I get it is swimming... but is there something going on down there that it needs eye protection?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I'm with Terry Lee and Sallie and others: What has happened to good taste? And not just referring to the flavor of the cakes themselves. I just cannot imagine being at a party where any of those cakes are served (particularly the one with the cookie fetus--just gross) and smiling and pretending that these were all lovely ideas for food and entertaining.
Nope. They are just in poor taste in every way possible. Hilarious and wince-inducing at the same time.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think this is one of your best pages ever... I have now passed the "babay Shower Cakes" link on to 20 people!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i totally should not have been eating when i looked at this post! i almost had taco salad all over my monitor when i got to the second to last cake! wow. hiliarious post! i might have those nightmares tonight, too, jen.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

Hey, #5 is mine! (kidding--just the process :) fertility hubby couldn't earn a #2 cake that easily)

Downright scary. Taylor--love the band name!! LOL

lauren, the plant like vagina was probably a peapod....

teacherlady, I was wondering the same thing! and then why are the hands two dimensional when everything ELSE is 3D?

the fetus cookie in the uterus is oh. so. wrong. the others are kinda funny, though they all make me squirm. *snicker*

love the goggles on #2. I had to post on FB for the two Jasons in my life (both dads).

LOL @ Allen's Brain & Gary

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

is it a bad sign that i would LOVE to get that rainbow cake?!? :Þ

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterclaire

I must be crazy, but I really like the second sperm cake and the uterus cake, I think they're funny and cute. And the first cake isn't bad ether, it looks yummy.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

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