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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jul012009

Considering the Uterus

Warning: Impending TMI of a medical nature. (In case the title didn't already clue you in.)

Tomorrow I will have the dubious pleasure of having the insides of my uterus cauterized. In honor of the occasion, we could take a look at the uterus in all its glory and learn from the wonders of the human body.

OR...

We could take a look at what other women order when they get their lady-bits worked on. After all, I could use a little inspiration.

(Yeah, I like option "B" better, too.)

This woman nicknamed her baby bag "Tilly", and then ordered it a farewell cake, like so:


Hm. Not a bad idea, really. Of course, coming up with just the right nickname for your internal organs can be a mixed bag - er, no pun intended. Plus, I'd have to give mine a guy's name, since I refuse to believe any female would inflict such horrors on another. So...The McCramper? Sweeney Todd? Sir-Clumps-A-Lot? I'm open to suggestions, obviously.

Elizabeth made this nifty Operation cake for her mom, who was feeling kinda down about an impending hysterectomy:

Elizabeth writes, "My friends said I should have made a driver's license with her picture and changed the F to an M, but since I didn't want her to kill herself, I just made this."

Good call, Elizabeth. Having the cake recipient collapse in a sobbing heap can be such a killjoy. Far better to take the more chipper, Pollyanna-ish route:

Although there is the possibility that wishing someone a "happy" hysterectomy could lead to a different kind of meltdown: Anyone remember Wendi Aaron's famous "Happy Period" rant at Always maxi pads? If not, and you don't mind a little language, you should check it out.

Here's my favorite line:

"...there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory."

Ah, which of us hasn't been there, eh, ladies? Or are there right now? ("Husband!! Bring me more Kahlua!!")

Some women obviously have a better relationship with their bits than I do, though:

Friends? Friends?!?
("Husband!! I mean it!!")


Now granted, I'm not having Sir-Clumps-A-Lot removed tomorrow, but that doesn't mean I'm any less apprehensive about the anesthesia and the whole, you know, cauterizing thing. So if any of you have some spare well wishes to send my way, the doctor's way, the Almighty's way, etc., I'd sure appreciate it.


Oh, and for the most realistic-looking (ie shiiiny) uterus cake yet, check out Debbie's here.

Thanks to Wreckporter Hall-of-Famer Monique R. for finding the last three.


UPDATE:
For all of you asking if vasectomy cakes will be next: Been there, done that. :D

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Reader Comments (272)

Hate to say it, but the first one is a pretty nice representation. Although... some things just should not be on a cake. Hope all goes well tomorrow and that you have enough Kahlua.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Good luck tomorrow! I had a partial hysterectomy (fibroids) a year and a half ago. Best. Thing. Ever.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChris

the cakes...just weird.no other word for that :)

praying for you

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commentern810smom

Oh Jen... you haven't seen uterus cake until you Debbie Goard's uterus cake!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/debbiedoescakesnet/3669155037/

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWild Cakes

No WOMB FOR RENT here. Had it out when I was in my late 20's. Haven't missed it once since.

Why would I? Had already had my kiddos and wasn't particularly enjoying having a "monthly visitor" that stayed all month!

It's been almost 12 years and I couldn't be happier.

No period for the last 12 years. Nor period ever again!!

CAN YOU SEE ME DANCING????

Hallie

Good luck!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

Jen, I hope everything goes well with your procedure - I'll say a little prayer for you!

-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

This may be the funniest entry yet. For real. Hilarious stuff! Good luck with your surgery. I have yet to speak to a woman who wasn't thrilled afterwords!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterirritablevowel

For all the laughs you bring us everyday, I am sure all of your fans will be sending good wishes your way. Good luck and remember to take it easy after the procedure, lay on the sofa and watch movies. Sending positive vibes...Sandy

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

best of luck tomorrow and thanks as always for a hilarious post. i am thinking kahlua should come out with a motrin-infused option (and a firearm warning).

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

aw. Have a happy hysterectomy! Good luck!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If you look up "debbie does cakes" on Flickr, she just did a very fancy uterus cake this week. If a uterus cake can be considered fancy !!!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJames ~n~ Amber

Holy cow that was hilarious. I had a hysterectomy years ago, so I can relate!

I had the cauterizing thing done just before that, though. No biggie, Jen. You'll be back up and making more body-part jokes before you know it.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

Jen, good luck tomorrow. Just remember, insist that they send you home with good drugs. If they tell you that you won't need them, offer to insert a hot curling iron in a sensitive orifice without the benefit of painkillers. That should change the doctor's mind (because, obviously, there is something wrong with the one he/she has). You probably won't need them, but it's always better to have and not need than need and not have. MaryC.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So, WHY are you getting it cauterized? I'm asking because my doc mentioned the same thing.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLapis Kelinia

good luck, hope everything goes well and husband waits on you hand and foot at least til Tuesday.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNellie

Love the operation cake!! Not so sure how I would feel about eating some of the others... *shudder* The female reproductive system has always kind of freaked me out (and I am female...).

Wishing you the best for your procedure! I hope U-TERUSt your doctor! heh heh (that was my horrible pun for today)

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSkye

I had an endometrial ablation 8 months ago - so fantastic. highly recommend! you will do great!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNo...NoMore

wow. just wow. I'm not sure I'll ever look at cake the same way again.

Good luck tomorrow.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterelizabeth

I had a partial 10 years ago. And I echo Chris-BEST THING EVER!!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSue

Good luck tomorrow, I had the same thing a year ago - no worries, no problems.

But back to the really important things in life: cake. The Operation one is awesome. The others are a little too, ah, descriptive for my tastes. (snicker). And to think the only thing I got after my surgery was the Supernatural DVD sets. Then again, Sam & Dean.....drool.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Good Luck tomorrow! Not that you're going to need it.....the procedure is a piece of cake!!!! (LOL) I had it done in January amd it was the Best. Decision. Ever! now I am normal, relatively, all the time!!!! Don't have to worry about spur of the moment Walgreen's trips.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGinnyP

seriously disturbing yet absolutely hysterical!!

meow!
Misha @ http://www.kitty-cakes.blogspot.com

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterROYALTY

Hope it goes well!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda from Michigan

I hope everything goes well tomorrow and no matter what, no matter what things look like, your doctor was not smoking a cigar during the procedure!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Goodbye Uterus Cake???? Now I've seen it all...

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBelle Epoque

If cauterization is the same as an endometrial ablasion, it's a snap. However, the uterus cakes are seriously... deranged...

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie H

Best wishes Jen! May your operation go smoothly and your recovery be swift.

Sending love.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Are you having an ablation? If that's what you are talking about, trust me...you will be VERY happy with the results. I had one over a year ago and haven't had to deal with Aunt Flo ever since..not once..not a drop. BEST thing I EVER did. Wishing you well!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterComedyShel

The Operation Cake was pretty cool. The rest left me feeling queazy. I'll pass on a uterus cake.

Best wishes that your proceedure will go smoothly.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommentervivaELvino

Sounds like you might be having laproscopic surgery for endometriosis. I've had the same surgery done twice, once at 21 and once last year at 25. I'm sure you're apprehensive and nervous, but just remember life will be SO much more enjoyable without the pain. Remember to take it easy for the next week and let your loved ones pamper you.

"Sweeney Todd" LOL!

Good luck and feel better!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm surprised no one has tried to make a CCC representation of the female reproductive system--I think that has real potential!

Good luck with your procedure tomorrow.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I'm currently dealing with a prolapsed uterus that is majorly pissing me off, so thanks for this post... it at least temporarily made me laugh at the uterus instead of curse it.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

Jen:

May tomorrow go smoothly and easily and well and good wishes to you, the doc, the nurses and any other random but necessary personnel who have anything to do with any of it!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEm

Wow - talk about irony. My Aunt is having a hysterectomy today, I didn't know I was supposed to get her a cake!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter*~*Lis*~*

Here's a suggestion for an affectionate name for lady-parts. My very good friend refers to them as her "Puddy" as in Tweety-Bird calling Sylvester a "puddy-tat". I always liked that one; and, since Sylvester is a male cat, you'd be giving it a "male" name, of sorts.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMetalNoir

Best of luck, Jen! I'm sure you'll come through fine, but let us know how it goes - I know there will be lots of people waiting to know how you're doing. ^^ I'm considering a hysterectomy someday myself.

I wonder if it's possible to make a uterus cake that ISN'T a wreck. In general, I think uteri (uteruses?) just don't belong on cakes, no matter how well made. xD

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChey

Good luck to you tomorrow. I'm sure it will all go well and you just KNOW someone's got a great cake lined up for you after its over. Keep focused on that!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMe and My Boys

Ablation I had done 5 years ago was *great*. Highly recommended. Especially if you're going to be knocked out and given good drugs after. Of course, I'm now contemplating getting a re-do, since my lining is apparently super-regenerative or something, but it was great while it lasted. Good luck!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Good luck, Jen!!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Best of luck Jen. I've had two 'scopes for endometriosis, a DNC, and several biopsies (and a few rounds of Lupron shots). My doc's basically trying to leave the lady bits in till I hit 30 because she says she'll feel better about taking it all out then.
Don't worry about going under...it happens so fast you won't know what hit you. Only sucky part is the sore throat from being tubed...just have the hubby feed you ice chips when you come to.
You'll be fine! We're all pulling for you!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Best of luck tomorrow. I'll be saying prayers for you.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeeOhVee

I give mine just as much abuse as it gives me... which is how I've managed to be pregnant and give birth 5 times... and am currently pregnant again :)

Its a give and take relationship with my boy, it gives me lovely babies to care for, I give it hell! That's not to say it doesn't fight back in between.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeimedall

who knew that searching for hysterectomy cakes would turn out so well.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTemperance

Haha.
Just hilarious.
I was quite literally laughing out loud.

Good luck with your surgery.

Robin
http://threadbearthoughts.blogspot.com/

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Happy Canada Day / Bonne Fête du Canada to all the Canadian readers!

█♥█

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What! I missed an occasion for a cake when I had "George" (my name for my horrible uterus) removed last year? So not fair. I will have to order up a 1 yr hysterectomy anniversary cake.

Best website ever for hysterectomy patients: www.hystersisters.com - definitely a sanity saver for me.

Good Luck tomorrow!! Enjoy the pain drugs they give you!!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie

I find that I really can't read the comments this time around due to being a little squeemish about women's parts. Ah well.

I hope your procedure goes well and that we have new Wrecks in no time.

But, just for my 2c, this is one of those things that be a cake design. Like feet and shoes. I'm totally turned off by the cover of this month's ACD.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Good luck tomorrow - I had the same procedure last year, and it's the best thing I've ever done. No more 45 day long periods! As a matter of fact, no more periods...er...period.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiddle Aged Crazy

I had the HEAVIEST periods ever, then had that procedure done years ago, changed my life. I can now leave my house any day of the month and not have to worry about "spotting". (I'm being gentle here... I once had a "dam break" while I was at work, had to run home and change every piece of clothing from the waist down, even my shoes.) The results of the procedure were ALL GOOD. You won't believe the change!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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