My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Labor of Love

Sure, you could go with rubber duckies and baby blocks, but that's sooo last decade. Today's shower cakes are all about the biology of baby-making: tasty and educational!

And while you're at it, why not congratulate dad, too?

Of course, mom also did her part:

(Whoah, whoah, whoah! TMI, Dad, TMI!)

You could even illustrate the whole process with the aid of disturbing plant analogies:

(Raise your hand if you're going to have nightmares about daisies sprouting Alien-style from your midsection tonight. Anyone? Anyone? Just me? Alrighty, then.)

Granted, the process doesn't always start exactly the same way:

Thank goodness that cup is labeled. Otherwise, we'd have some concerned coffee drinkers on our hands right about now.

And what does all this love math equal?

(No, your eyes do not deceive you: that IS a Fetal Bite cookie in that there uterus cake. Excellent.)

And that brings us to the Big, Life-Changing Moment!


Yep, I'm changed for life.

Casey D., Heidi D., Hillary M., Kristin J., Jess, Shari W., & Tiffany D., when you're ready to have "the talk" with your kids, feel free to come back here for visual aids.

- Related Wreckage: First Impressions

NOTE: No, I'm not I'm trying to tell you something with this recent rash of baby shower posts. Are you forgetting this post? And this one? I just figured baby cakes in January made sense: new year, new babies? Yes? No?

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Reader Comments (219)

As someone who is currently in their ninth month, I found some of these particularly disturbing. Looking forward to this getting this baby out of there. But - POP OUT? I'm going to have anxiety of that now, I think. Sounds painful and/or dangerous!


January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, I was hanging in there...sorta.. on the grossness-level right until that last picture. NOW I'm gonna have nightmares. Thanks bunches, as usual Jen ;)

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

Im 29 weeks pregnant right now & I think that makes these cakes all the more funny - I can't imagine having to fake a positive reaction to receiving any of these cakes!
SO funny!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

That seed cake is so, so wrong.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

Two things that came to mind when I saw this post:

1. Peapod = scary green labia
2. Girl + sperm bucket = baby.

Math is creepy.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMari

Yeah, I'll second with one of the frist commenters: "My eyes! My eyes!". And let's all use our imaginations and think about that gardening cake; perhaps the "mother to be" was simply a cake decorator hoping for a "budding cake wrecker" just like herself. How *sniff* SWEET! :)

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Oh sweet merciful heaven! I'm just hoping that these cakes were made with humor in mind, but THAT is a stand up show that I could absolutely miss.

While I wasn't on the baby train before - this isn't any incentive to buy that ticket!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdeemack

I like that baby sprout/seed/thing one. It's cute, and well done.

Phooey. D<

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did someone really name their plant-baby Kacku? Kecker? What IS that?

wv: boopi. tehe.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

OMG I am more creeped out by the blue mouse squirming into a moldy in the center piece of cheese! Yikes!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStepherB

Wow, that's just crazy. I don't think I would ever feel right eating a sperm cake...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina

@Mari- "Math is creepy."....LOL!!!!! That is hysterical!

This is a fabulously creepy post...i love it...don't think I want to actually eat the cakes or have them show up at any event I go to, but am so glad they were photographed for our amusement.

It does beg the question though--what do the guests say when they see the cake??? If the inscription is misspelled everyone can laugh or shake their heads...but if what was executed was requested and turns your stomach so that you don't eat any of the finger sandwiches or try any of the cheese ball...what in the world do you say?


January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

I thought the sperm cup was sushi at first...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersteelejk

The sperm in the fourth cake looks like the mouse from Mouse Trap!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

That's it I'm officially traumatized! Talk about TMI cakes:-P I'd be a little nervous about cutting into the last one, please tell me it isn't a red velvet cake:-/

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCulinarychiq

That birth cake is going to give me nightmares

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

um...eww (gags)

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jen, I have to thank you. My biological clock has been in overdrive lately, but today's cakes managed to stop it cold.

I may or may not have screamed when I saw the last two cakes.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercorianne

The sperm with goggles is Willy the Sperm. I just saw that book yesterday!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEryn Pluim

So maybe for that last one they could do cupcakes with little epidurals on them?? I'm just sayin.......

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Kinda makes you glad you had that ablasion, huh Jen?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBuffy

I actually like the sperm with goggles! And the one with coffee I thought looked like: woman + sushi = love baby!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Oh my goodness! Ugh!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBlalock

My husband on the 'process' cake: "I really like how the peapod also looks like a green hoo-hoo."

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Hannah

The last cake must've been a clothed, fondant-draped version of the infamous "Push Olivia, Push" buttercream counterparts. Talk about bad taste, Jen!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwhizkidforte

Yes, the book is called Where Willy Went, it is about a sperm who is a great swimmer!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lindsay - "i first thought the cup of sperm was a sperm sushi!"...if only it were that easy...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous
January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OH MY. Unless there's another Erlanger hospital out there, that last one is from MY TOWN. I may know someone who helped eat it.


WV: honse - Honsetogoodness, I can never look at people around here in the eye again...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBekah

Wow, I am speechless, and that doesn't happen to often.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I literally just screamed and reeled back from my monitor at the last two. Holy poopie sticks, I'm scarred for life!!!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNoelle

While most of the cakes are kind of disturbing, I actually think the one with the flower metaphor is cute!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

I liked the rainbow math cake better when I thought the cup was supposed to be alcohol.

Girl + booze = baby? Sounds about right.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKirjava

more horrifying that the cakes themselves is the fact that someone is naming their child 'kaden'.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthevictoriankitchen

OMG - I've been to orgies that were more tasteful than those cakes! Sperm, a uterus and a childbirth depiction in pastry??!! Are they mad?

Having actually had a child, I can still manage a minor case of the heebie-jeebies over childbirth depictions of any sort - had I seen that last cake at any party...the best I can say is that it would have been ruined by my the violent and uncontrollable disgust of my stomach turning.

Good grief.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yes, when at a baby shower, let us indulge in a large slice of WTFery spread out upon a cake. While my dirty and frankly overactive mind can come up with several comments, I think I will hold my tongue/fingers.
That plant cake should be presented to Poison Ivy should she ever have a baby.
The 'sperm in a cup' cake was hopefully for someone who went to the bank, if you know what I mean.
At the end of the day, I think a simple mud cake with 'Congratulations' (spelt correctly) written across it is good enough for any baby shower. Or, if you were decident, a chocolate riple cake.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershikishinobi

OH MY GOSH get these people out of the bakeries!!!!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShelley Dayton

To all who were curious about the last cake:
Yes, Richard, you are correct. That makes one intelligent person among all of you. It was to commemorate my graduating from medical school and starting Ob-GYN residency. OB doctors "catch" babies. Clearly, it was a joke. Was actually a big hit at my graduation luncheon. If you think the cake is obscene, then I don't suggest watching TV or attending a real birth.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I had no idea you could get a full lesson in human sexuality in cake format!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Yikes! I'm scarred for life.
Anna Marie

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRusty and Bandit

I am now scarred for life.


January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarji

Good lord. I think I lost some brain cells with these cakes.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJess

The second cake is cute, probably because it's not 3D.

But the cake with the flower growing in the tummy---did the mom-to-be get impregnated by a Triffid?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBree

I thought making a naked baby cake was but whoa! these are disgusting!--- Amanda

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Anonymous --

#1) Yes, Richard, the last cake was indeed a graduation cake for a new OBGYN doc, not a shower cake (that could've been disturbing). I was at the (private) party where the cake was present.

#2) as an OB myself, I thought these were freakin' hilarious!!! (except the plant one... sort of reminded me of the "Reproduction" song in the Grease2)

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm hoping to have an occasion to host a baby shower later this year and I also know the intended guest of honour reads this blog. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteralphafem

Somebody check with Erlanger Hospital. Pretty sure they must have a new Obs doc on staff. Pretty sure her name must be Kristin.

The one that got me the most was the peapod vulva at the top. Having delivered babies myself, that one *definitely* looked more true to form than the last one.

Definitely doesn't make me want to eat it. *shudder*

(Just realized what that could sound like. I meant the cake. I'm a straight, happily married woman...) Ok, time to stop.

WV: bunun - as in, I think she's got a bunun the oven!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I hate to say it, but......

The Sperm on the second cake is kinda cute.


January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercherish

I loved every one of these. I keep imagining the hilarity over at the bakery ("Hey, Hal, come see this... does this look like a sperm or a fish?") I'm expecting in July and shared this post with the other 5000 ladies in the Babycenter July 2010 birthboard. Jen, thanks for this lovely humor break amongst our drama.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ZOMG! That last one is horrifying! It could only be worse if they changed "camera" angles! But let's not give anyone any ideas 'bout that, 'kay?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara and Randy

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