My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Labor of Love

Sure, you could go with rubber duckies and baby blocks, but that's sooo last decade. Today's shower cakes are all about the biology of baby-making: tasty and educational!

And while you're at it, why not congratulate dad, too?

Of course, mom also did her part:

(Whoah, whoah, whoah! TMI, Dad, TMI!)

You could even illustrate the whole process with the aid of disturbing plant analogies:

(Raise your hand if you're going to have nightmares about daisies sprouting Alien-style from your midsection tonight. Anyone? Anyone? Just me? Alrighty, then.)

Granted, the process doesn't always start exactly the same way:

Thank goodness that cup is labeled. Otherwise, we'd have some concerned coffee drinkers on our hands right about now.

And what does all this love math equal?

(No, your eyes do not deceive you: that IS a Fetal Bite cookie in that there uterus cake. Excellent.)

And that brings us to the Big, Life-Changing Moment!


Yep, I'm changed for life.

Casey D., Heidi D., Hillary M., Kristin J., Jess, Shari W., & Tiffany D., when you're ready to have "the talk" with your kids, feel free to come back here for visual aids.

- Related Wreckage: First Impressions

NOTE: No, I'm not I'm trying to tell you something with this recent rash of baby shower posts. Are you forgetting this post? And this one? I just figured baby cakes in January made sense: new year, new babies? Yes? No?

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Reader Comments (219)

A goggle for one-eyed Willy - gotta love it!

Uterus = Bedpan...yeah, can't argue with that.

And Taylor, your band should write a song titled "I'm in love with Sir Clumpsalot." Rock on, if you know what I mean.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjillb-ilslp

Oh. My. God. That's all I can say...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterummpumpkinseed

My eyes! My eyes! Seriously, they scare the crap outta me!

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKrysTros

Oh. My. Lord...

Look, I'm glad we've moved past the days when pregnant women were expected to be ashamed of their condition, and hide it from everyone except their husband for the first 8 months and all...

...But I'm thinkin' perhaps we've moved a tad too far in the other direction...

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

I don't think I could eat the first 2 or last 2.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGarden Lily

The one with the poem in it cracks me up the hardest but the last two just hurt my eyes and brought back my PTSD from childbirth-someone needs a drug test if they think they were a good idea

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJana

I'm sure I'm not the Heidi D your talking about, but I'll just pretend I'm cool enough to be mentioned. {basking in the cool}

OK so the "plant cake" had me scratching my head as to what the peach colored blob was. Then I read about the daisies and the mid-section...what, is she talking abouuuuuugh NO!!! EWEW! Then I read someone liken the bean with the baby head to a vagina...I'll never be the same, Jen, I just won't.

Speaking of Alien flowers, that's just what the last picture of the cakes reminded me of. The movie Aliens. The scene where the Queen is laying the eggs...if you haven't seen it, check it out and you will see the resemblance. Not to mention that it's gray like a corpse, the boobs are bigger than beach balls, and who's hands are those?

My husband just told me it's supposed to be a sheet over her...I stand by what I said.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi D

I would like to also say that I know what the hands are supposed to be, but the way they're positioned are all wrong.

It would be like the doctor standing on the table and bending over to check the progress and then yank the baby out.

OH MY GOSH!!! Aliens is just now starting on AMC!! No way! I swear, I'm channeling the future through your wrecky cakes!

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi D

A flower growing out of her coochie. Hmmm.....

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSixxlet

That last cake is beyond disturbing. The boobs are so huge and misplaced that I thought they were supposed to be knees and that the "baby" was popping out alien-style from the top of the stomach.


January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Hilarious all of them! Except for the fetus cookie cake, thats disturbing.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i really liked the sperm ones -- make me laugh out loud!

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

NO NO NO!!! They made the little green pea pod into a little green vaj!!! NO!

Methinks it might look like the Jolly Green Giant's little woman, no?


January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDIANE

Wow, I'm going to have nightmares now for sure!

Thanks for the laugh as usual ;-)

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWoman Uncensored

Disturbing, yes, but that second sperm cake... isn't that the cutest sperm you ever saw?!

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon M

That peapod, the one on the plant one? Yeah, that was a vagina. Good lord. Appetite=lost.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hah! I love these cakes. Reproduction fascinates me, perhaps because y own little in vitro fertilization-conceived baby (who was born at home, intentionally, with no pain meds) is sleeping in my lap. When you've had to go through something out of the ordinary to conceive, sometimes a little humor is in order. :)

Hopefully though no one who'd find offense to these cakes was invited to the part celebrating the very subject of the cakes.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~* Aria *~

I don't think I want to have kids anymore.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGreatBlue

Love the blog. And a side-splitting post as usual.

I hope I was the only one who looked at the safety pins and booties cake, remembered the recently-posted contraceptive cake, and immediately mistook the coloured booties for piles of pills and the safety pins for ... well, let's just say I focussed on the wrong end. Okay, I admit it, I'm a doctor ...

On another note, I find KB's response interesting. I am sure it was a great hit at her graduation party, especially if it was more fellow medical graduates/family who were in a health profession, rather than non-medical relatives and friends. Appropriate and no, not obscene under the circumstances.

But ... I can also sympathise with people who aren't comfortable seeing so much anatomy (and physiology!) without some warning, or at least the right context. Nobody is saying it's so offensive it should be taken down, just that it's not pleasant. The discomfort is part of the humour, and with the wrong context (baby showers! or even just - cake!) it's hilarious. Because while childbirth is 100% natural, it's also personal, emotional, intense and extremely physical. Just like sex. So it's not something you want served up on your plate unexpectedly :P

the angel Jean

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommentertheangelJean

thevictoriankitchen sez:

"more horrifying that the cakes themselves is the fact that someone is naming their child 'kaden'."

I so want to agree with you, kitchen, but nothing could be more horrifying than these cakes. Nothing.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

These are fantastic! I am in the business of attending births (certified nurse-midwife) and find these entirely appropriate and hilarious for those with a light heart. I myself have been known to make anatomical cakes for parties. Lighten up people. Nothing wrong or innappropriate with these cakes at all, although the image of growing babies encased in plant buds is a bit much i must say. -KP

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I must be the only person to find these cakes amusing. Not that I'd ever buy/eat one of them, but I did laugh my ass off.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the worst part of the creepy poem one isn't the daisy sprouting from the headless woman's crotch, it has to be the explicitly anatomical bean pod that the baby head is... emerge from.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterL


January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

One year ago today, I was in the same position as the last cake! AS the mother of four, natural births all, I have to say I thought most of these were pretty funny (except the fetus cookie one. That is just weird.)

wv: Mandes- Mandes my vajay hurt!

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersarah22277

Wow. My mouth is still hanging open from that last wreck. Wrinkly gray skin!!!

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

OMG, I can't believe I got a reference that strange and disturbing, but cake number two is a character from this book, which is also rather disturbing, especially as it is a children's picture book...

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah


January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett

What the heck?!

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTraci

ROFL, I was wondering how may people caught the "Erlanger Hospital" reference on the last cake! Looks like you've got yourself a sizable fan base from Chattanooga, Jen!

And there I was thinking Erlanger was well-known for its burn unit. Guess it's a different type of burn, eh?

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

I never thought they could make sperm look so ermmmm cute!?

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCandee

Ummmm.......I don't think 'midsection' (pic #4). Eeek!

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLula

I couldn't believe it when I saw Erlanger. Be proud, Chattanooga, be proud.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbluellama

Thank you, thank you, thank you for another unexpected but stellar reminder of why my choice to never have children was the right one.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlorrwill

You and John would have amazingly hilarious kids...I almost feel deprived with a future with out your spawn.

January 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAutumnJade

I REALLY should not have scrolled down to those baby cakes as today is my due date! :) Love the last one, the look on the babies face is priceless!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJaimey

eh, I liked them =) Especially the sperm with goggles.

wv: skerear

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm thinking that maybe - MAYBE - that last cake is not for a shower, but for a med school student named Kristin who is starting an OB rotation. At least that explanation makes the whole thing much less horrifying.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzG

OMG!!! I am expecting in August, and i PRAY that I don't get any cakes like these! But if I do, you better believe you will be getting a picture! HILARIOUS!!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlovenewportri

Of all the days to be drinking from a black coffee cup... o_O

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterroachc420

What was the name of the pea-pod baby? Did it say Kaden????? Kaclen???? Yikes!

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimc

Common comment from Ob/Gyn friends: Most consistent mini-baby boom is 9 months after the SuperBowl.

And, yes, with the "right" crowd, I could easily see the Ovum and Spermatazoa ideas being used.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Aw, that's Willy artwork from Where Willy Went, a fabulous book about a little sperm's adventure, lol. Isn't he cute? He looks delicious? LOL!

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

My first thought when I saw that last cake was:
(0 0)

"Kilroy IS here!"

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter#masher

I'm traumatised for life by that last cake!!

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMotleyangel

You know, that girl + something cake looked an awful lot like girl + sperm-filled sushi to me.

I always knew there was something fishy about that stuff.

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBead

Oh my! Please oh please say that uterus one was for some obstetrician's party, not a baby shower!

January 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGale

WHY?! Why must people take the most beautiful part of life and destroy it with horrific confectionery?

January 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDave

Holy crap, I think my ovaries just tried to hide behind my lungs.

January 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The sperms on the first ones look more like ghosts.

January 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSexy Sadie

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