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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Oct222010

Beautiful Wrecks

YOU GUYS. We have another special VIDEO post today!

Or, if your work computer won't let you view video, keep scrolling for the written version.


Every cake is so wonderful,
And suddenly...

it's hard to breathe.

Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain...

(Ow.)

I'm so ashamed.

I am beautiful,

No matter what they say.

Words can't bring me down.

I am beautiful in every single way.
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no.

So don't you bring me down today.

To all your friends, you're delirious.
Ice cream cones... to make their horns...

Tryin' hard to make some sense of it. Wait, are those bugles?
Is it a cow-duck with horns and a goatee?

Cause you are beautiful, no matter what they say.
Words can't bring you down.

You are beautiful in every single way.
Words can't bring you down. NoOooOoooOOOooo....
So don't you bring me down today.

No matter what we poo.


No matter what we bake.

And everywhere we go,
The suananaaaIIOOOAAAAa NNOOOO NOO NOOooooOO ooooooooo

We are beautiful, no matter what they pay.
Camo flower town.

NoooooooOoo.

We are beautiful in every single way.
Words can't bring us down. No no no no no mmmm MMMM mm....

So don't you bring me down today.

OooooOOOOUgggnhh... MMmmmnOOOooAAH!
Don't you bring me downtooaaaaayyyyyyyyaAAAAAHHHHH

AAAOooooOOhh...

So don't you bring me down..... ughhnnnn....


Today.

Zakes C., Maja, Liz D., Lesley M., DaAn D., Caroline M., Haley H., Geri B., Rachel S., Bob B., Sue S., & Amy B., awoooawoooeeeeoaaaahhhhow. No matter what they say.

Note from john: If you're wondering who's singing in the video, it's our very own Number 1 aka Jennifer Dorsman. And yes, she really is that good. Makes you sick, doesn't it?

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Reader Comments (164)

My gosh. I was so overwhelmed by the voice on that video I forgot I was laughing at the funny parts. Who is that singing? Amazing voice!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

#1=Win! Giving Xtina some competition there. I wasn't sure how you would've topped your other musical but this was fantastic, along with some fantasically wreckie cakes! Who puts Bugles on cupcakes anyway?!?

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

Just linked through from Canadian Living. Thanks for the afternoon chuckle. Loved some of those cakes!!!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKrista

#1, you have a fabulous voice. I'm also guessing you've trained long and hard to get it, that kind of clarity in the upper register doesn't happen by accident. Nicely done!

(Pro? Semi-pro? Or just a talented amateur? Honestly, if you've got recordings, I'd listen to them. I much prefer your voice to the strained, processed stuff that's on the radio these days.)

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That video was AWESOME!!! The cake at 2:45 "Super Bowel GO GO GO" -Hilarious!

@Amy- What IS that thing @3:34?

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTracey

I love it! Great lyrics and visuals and a really beautiful voice.

I also thought you guys would like to know that my husband surprised me with your book for our anniversary. Did I marry a great guy or what? :D

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

wv: print.

The words in print were very funny and the singing was soooo beauti-fuullllll (and of course the cakes were very wrecky)!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow! That's amazing - what a great voice!! And all those wrecks!! Loved it!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeesa

"No matter what we poo." This will have me snickering for the rest of the day. Thanks. :P

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

#2 Could we not have included some suggestion of a seat? And, I dunno, another leg?!

#6 I think those are Bugles. Now that's a taste treat waiting to happen.

#7 Why do I think 'Get Lost Creep' is what the customer told the wreckerator.

#10 I agree with the paintball theory, but it's amazing how much the hits look like daisies. As seen by Dali.

#12 Abe would be proud. Glad he was included after all the tributes to Washington this week. Major case of hat-hair, though.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

OMG that is friggin' hilarious!!

LOVE LOVE LOVED this post! so many cakes, so appropriately arranged with the lyrics. This is art of the 21st century. Bravo!!

btw, who was singing?? awesome job!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

I love the "no matter what they say" lyrics coupled with the insult cakes. spittake worthy!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I needed that this morning, I laughed till I was choking and had to run to the bathroom before I peed my pants, oh, wait, is that too much information? I think I'll send this to my mother-in-law who deserves this very experience for herself. BWAHAHAHAhahahahaha!!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdo Annie

That video was totally awesome!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

The kroger cake is surely radioactive...

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Stunning, absolutely stunning.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy in Nashville

This made my morning.

As mentioned already, I'm pretty sure the flower camo cake is actually a paintball cake. Which, if it is a paintball cake, it really isn't half bad. Not exactly an easy thing to "cakeify."

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Flabbergasted.

I think the thing at 3:34 is a Shih Tzu with a serious thyroid problem. And a bad dye job.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

That just made my day about a bazillion times better......

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKellyGrrl

What a wonderful post! Thanks for a great laugh today. Good voice too.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Fantastic! Beautifully sung, and I love the captions! Two frosting-dipped thumbs waaaay up!

Marcy

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's good stuff, plain and simple. I nominate #1 for Best New Artist Grammy!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

When the guy with the bike rammed up his pipe and then the drop dead cake came up, I laughed out loud.

When the suck it cake came up, I began to seriously miss SNL Jeoporady (spelling?) with Sean Connery and Will Ferrel. I shed a single black writing gel tear...

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

BRAVO! Wonderful!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura47

Just, just beautiful. No matter what they say.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

I love you, Number 1, and Jen and John. Not in a creepy way, of course.

Because that'd just be weird.

WV: caralin, as in, "we'll be going caralin this winter"

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPenelope

HA! my favorite part is the "oooOOOoooAAAAWWWAAAAoooooOOOooooh" stuff. hilarious!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

Having a B.A.D. day. Thanks for the laugh and smile today.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSTATJR

AMAZING
THANK YOU!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterscrap happy girl

great singer Number 1 you are number 1 and I just 'love' all the cakes

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh where, oh where, can I get a DEAD HORSE CAKE too??! OoooWaaaaOhhhWaahhhOOHHhhhhh!!!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMags

My 4 year old daughter said "Mommy, one of those cakes in making me nervous"....

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCourtenay

:O Wowza! That is an awesome post! It's like a literal video... but with cake! It can't get much better than that!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

You guys have done it again. The talent that you have that once again delivers a post that takes wreaked cakes and turns it into a side splitting,laugh out loud gem is remarkable. Standing ovation to you!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

Amazing voice you've got there! Waiting for my migraine meds to *hopefully* kick in, I decided to check CW to distract myself... I was holding my own against laughing out loud (painful!) until about 1:53 - "wait are those bugles?" ... at which point I quite literally fell out of my chair laughing.

Oddly enough, my head feels a little better now! Thanks :) apparently cow ducks with horns and goatees are better than western medicine.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKiraela

I legit thought that it was just going to be Christina Aguilera. And then they said "cake" and I was like WHAT. So whoever that was, holy CRUDMUFFINS.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor P

More like tapeworms than poo on that Bavarian blast!

Nice Heffalump on the first cake!

What a show to close down the week with. Thanks! :)

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Seriously, amazing voice. I forgot to laugh the first time, so I had to watch it again.

WV: eamuni. I guess eating those cakes requires some kind of eamunization.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbiggo

So, this post just proved how messed up this pregnancy is really making me - I laughed, and yet at the same time got that genuine nose burning, eyeswatering, lump in the throat signaling that I'm going to cry because I feel so bad for those cakes!

Completely and totally awesome. No matter what we poo.... I'm hanging that above my baby's changing table....

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCurly-T

Thanks for putting that together, it was pretty cool. Also, great voice.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMirth

Fan-Freakin'-Tastic!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Okay, I tried to scroll thru the comments to see if anyone else already posted this, but there were too dang many comments. I only got 2/3 of the way thru!

Pretty sure camo flower town was actually supposed to be paint ball. those "flowers" look like paint splots.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteroriginalrager

Is it flowers, or camo and paintballs? I guess if I have to ask it is a problem.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPICAdrienne

It deeply disturbs me that the Bavarian Blast is also a "filled cake." OMG! Pass!

No matter what we poo, indeed!

Meg in AZ

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If the audio magicianery was sampling and dubbing CA's voice to make the right words with autotune then holy cow, well done! If the vocals were live record then Damn, girl, get yourself a contract!

AS always Jen, Great job on the video!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSherry

Now that.... is impressive. Great bit of work! **Off to find karaoke bar**

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

you totally just made my day

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that I love the You Are Tolerable cake...My birthday is coming up in Nov. I think I know what I want!....haha

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeyna

I have not stopped laughing yet! Thanks Jen you just brightened up a bad day I was having. I am going to go back now and watch it again.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

My entire family just huddled around the computer to watch this on my husband's lunch break. Absolutely hilarious.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDel

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