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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jan242013

Bazinga!

Everybody sing!

 

Squashed kitties

 

Shorn kitties


Mangy balls of fur!


Crappy kitties

 

 Creepy...kitties?


STILL BETTER THAN A DOG.

 

 

Thanks to Laura T., Gina P., Celeste B., Chris S., Jesse S., and Anony M., for starting our day with a Big Bang.

 

Note from Jen: So far you guys have let me joke about self-help groups, glaucoma, and baby bags with no air holes, but I'm betting THIS - the ages-old cat vs dog debate - is the uncrossable line. LET'S ALL TUNE IN TO THE COMMENTS TO FIND OUT. :D

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Reader Comments (132)

So not a cat fan, but this was absolutely hilarious!!

I can hear Penny singing in my head.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDebbaSue

The "shorn kitty" looks more like a "post-spinal-surgery" kitty. Or an "escaped from a lab experiment" kitty. As to the debate, dogs totally win, except on this blog...that thing looks like something my Pomeranian would hork up on the rug.
Elisabeth

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWeepoodle

Cats rule and dogs drool!

What are those toe/claw things on #3? Albino olives?

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Purrrr Purrrr Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

There's nothing wrong with a shorn kitty.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

Bazinga!

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSVF

Dogs helped us succeed at hunting and gathering; I'm grateful to them for that. I can't abide their smell or slobber, but I can be grateful at a distance. Cats helped us succeed at agriculture, by eating the mice that flocked to the granaries when we first started farming, so that we kept with it, rather than giving up agriculture (and with it, civilization) as a bad investment. I like their company a lot more, but I'm grateful to both.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Cats rule, dogs drool! (Although I did have a cat once who drooled, but we'll just ignore that for now as I'm pretty sure he had latent kitten issues due abandonment by his mama at 3-4 weeks old.)

Love this post, though now I can't get Soft Kitty out of my head. Thanks. I think.

C.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCHM

The wreck comes in
On little cat feet.

It sits looking over the freakin' mess
On silent haunches
And then? A frosting hairball.

Carl Sandpurrg

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I read that post first in Sheldon's voice, then in Penny's.

Side note: "A new species of the Brazilian orchid bee -- dubbed Euglossa bazinga -- has been named after Dr. Cooper's catchphrase "Bazinga."

"On CBS' TV series, Cooper, played by actor Jim Parsons, uses the word after he pulls a trick on someone. Brazilian biologist Andre Nemesio from the Universidade Federal de Uberlandia recently discovered a new bee species that he thinks fits the "bazinga" bill. Because the new species so closely resembles the Euglossa ignita, a more common Western Brazilian orchid bee, it wasn't recognized as a separate species -- therefore it "tricked" scientists for years."

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterUldi

I have a dog. He is sitting over there -----> with his dog face, totally failing at being a cat. Cats are better. Don't tell him I said that.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAGermany

Theardare and my cat do not approve this post (especially the poor kitties cakes). Except of the part where cats are better then dogs. I and every cat I've ever known agree.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGuest

Big Bang Theory! <3 I like cats and dogs, so I'm an impartial party here :)

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBri

See, I kinda missed it. I figured it was those kitties were better than THAT dog. And that particular dog is pretty bad.

Trying to drive away readership so you can retire and stopping looking at hideous cakes? I don't think so, missy!

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

SuBee, your poem is purrfect. Serious kudos. It's the best part of my morning after this Cake Wrecks post!

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

I will be singing Soft Kitty for the rest of the day so thank you for that. Thankfully BBT and cats are the greatest things about this planet. Is there a Broadway muscial about dogs? No, that's how you know cats are better.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

My dog acts like a cat, and my cat drools so I don't really know where I stand on the cat vs. dog issue. I do know that I love both Soft Kitty and the CW version of said kitten, so all is right in my world.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I love all animals, they are often better and more predictable than humans. I know a lot of people favour one over the other very adamantly (my husband included - he loves cats) but really it is all based on how much attention you personally require and how much you want to devote to a pet. Cats tend to require less labour. You don't have to get up early and take a cat for a walk, but if you are inclined to a morning jog, a dog makes a wonderful companion. You can leave out the food and clean the litter and then go away for a long weekend and a cat will be fine, if you have the space for an outdoor dog run or barn then you can always do the same with a dog (so long as you can trust him not to eat himself to death). Suffice it to say that both animals have their good and bad points as pets, but then again, so do kids, birds, rodents, snakes, lizards and anything else that requires someone to take care of it. Responsibility has to be a labour of love or it is just labour. Your lifestyle and preferences will dictate your choice.

By the way, I thought you did a great job and that this post was cute and made me giggle. I'd love to see you really push the envelope one of these days and address something really controversial just to see what happens, but I wouldn't want you to give John a heart attack.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoelle

Mangy kitty actually made me gag. o.O What the heck is on the board with Crappy kitty??? A computer mouse???

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Cats, dogs, hamsters, whatever. What I'd really like is an elephant.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Tossing my vote in with the cats.


Signed:
Crazy Cat Lady

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M

Dogs have masters, cats have staff.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDawn B

Hate cats. Always have. Still do.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterme

Nothing bad here but the cakes!!! If you can't pit cats against dogs, what can you do? No more pink vs purple, chips vs fries, buttercream vs fondant?!?!?!?

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterApril in ME

Just don't put the kitty cake on Sheldon's seat ... he doesn't do well with change and he does not share his seat.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Internal Organ
bids Crappy Kitty farewell.
'Twasn't meant to be.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I like cats at a distance.... on the other side of a glass wall.... where I can breath clean air that won't turn me into a wheezing anaphylactic shock hospital bunny. Cats seem to know this, and have decided that I am a target for their death-dander, so whenever there is a cat around it makes a bee-line for me and tries to kill me with its cute fluffballness.

My dog has never tried to kill me.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZeaBunny

Dogs are better. They don't make me sneeze. That is all.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Crappy kitty has a ball of "yarn". That's how you know it's a kitty.
Let's face it. Any of those kitties could've passed for "creepy kitty".

I'm all for dogs. When they expose their fuzzy bellies, it's not just to lure you in to the cattrap of fur, fangs and claws. And agony. Dogs don't show you love by sleeping on your face to suffocate you at night. And they don't show their gratitude for food and shelter and love and affection by walking away from you in disdain.
Plus, cats are murderers. http://theoatmeal.com/comics/cats_actually_kill

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

Mangy kitty is pretty awful, but yes, they're still better than dogs. (Says the mom with no pets . . .) SuBee, your poem was the, ahem, icing on the cake of this post.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

Sorry, but all I know about The Big Bang Theory is a parody I found online.

Penny: Sheldor how I make compute fester?
Sheldon: delet sys32
Penny: (blank look)
Sheldon: zimbabwe

As for the cats vs. dogs debate, I prefer cats, but I'm not terrified of dogs anymore.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBaby Susan

As "Crappy Kitty" appears to be rather distressed and concerned, I'm afraid that object on the board with him is his entire GI tract...

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I wasn't going to post anything, but seeing as cats were getting all the love, this dog-lover had to do something. You know, I've often found that cat lovers tend to dislike dogs, but dog-lovers actually like cats as well as dogs. Just something to think about....

And thanks for the chuckles today!

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

@SuBee - excellent!
Cats rule and dogs drool!
Though, we did have a cat who drooled when you scratched her chin just right. I've been a cat owner for years but have always considered myself a dog person, so I can take either side in the debate.
Bazinga!

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Bwahahaha

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Genius, SuBee.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersoundsorceress

Don't forget the Alzheimer's cake, Jen. That could have had gruesome fall-out.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I am deathly allergic to cats, but I don't mind their company...when my face isn't swollen up! I do have to draw the line at the kitties above, though. Unless their made of chocolate...

I love dogs. Not the little ones you can kick across the room, which are usually noisy and mean, but the big, intelligent creatures. I'm an overall animal lover; not vegetarian, though, because I believe whole-heartedly in the food chain. Contradictions abound.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga

Completely OT ~ I started watching Star Trek TOS last night on Netflix. My mom faithfully watched it every week when I was a kid but I never really got into it. I did watch TNG and liked that but I think that had more to do with Wil Wheaton than the actual show. [wait, maybe this isn't so OT after all???]
Anyway, since Haiku Joy did it I figured I'd see what ya'll were so excited about. I'm alllll about peer pressure!

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

How'd they get the head so good in the second one? Oh. I see.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Jen, I'm so hurt you would post something so inappropriate on your blog! We all know that cats belong to Satan and it's clear now so do you! I usually like what you post, but now I can no longer read this terrible blog and support this stuff.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

isn't the soft kitty song supposed to make a sick person feel better? well as the song went on the cakes got worse. my reaction to each was *ugh* but thanks for the laugh : )

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatCollins

Six dogs and two cats - it's like choosing which child is your favorite. They all are, depending. I guess we're CatDog around here.

SuBee - Spot on and brilliant - even carrying through to the poet's name!

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMindy

Cats!!! Cats are largely self-sufficient, they don't need to go outside when it's two below zero to go potty, they don't drool on you, and they don't stink like dogs. Plus, I believe the sound of a purring cat is one of the best sounds ever.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

Just call me Switzerland. My cat eats shoe laces. From your shoes. As in, while you're wearing them! My dog ate my teddy bear when I was a kid. So, yeah, they're different, but alarmingly the same. Any post based on the Big Bang Theory is awesome, even if the cakes are hideous. Love you guys!

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJess T

Love it! I can't wait to show these to my husband, he is always making up atrocious variations of Soft Kitty featuring our cat Smokie. I think he'll agree she is much cuter than any of these cakes though!

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLori Z

"Shorn" kitty looks more like his owner gives him neck-down baths in... purr-oxide.

Eh, I like both, and I will be friendly to both, if they will be friendly to me. At least cats who won't be friendly go somewhere else when I approach. Seems like dogs that won't be friendly bark constantly at minimum, giving visits with their owners an element of annoyance. Having had a dog that was like that, it is definitely also annoying when you cannot communicate that these visitors are okay. I don't know if any burglars were discouraged from trying anything by her, but the aforementioned flipside was... ugh.

Also, cats -- at least around here -- walk themselves and don't make you stand out in whatever weather it happens to be while they take their time.

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Cats make both me and my brother sick, my brother almost to the point of needed the ER, so I'm with the dogs on this one. Yay for allergies!

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKristin E.

I just keep hearing Phoebe from "Friends" singing "Smelly Cat"...

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

That last dog looks like it is either sucking on a pacifier, wearing lipstick or was born with its eyes on the wrong end (and has a hemorrhoid).

January 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

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