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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Oct222010

Beautiful Wrecks

YOU GUYS. We have another special VIDEO post today!

Or, if your work computer won't let you view video, keep scrolling for the written version.


Every cake is so wonderful,
And suddenly...

it's hard to breathe.

Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain...

(Ow.)

I'm so ashamed.

I am beautiful,

No matter what they say.

Words can't bring me down.

I am beautiful in every single way.
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no.

So don't you bring me down today.

To all your friends, you're delirious.
Ice cream cones... to make their horns...

Tryin' hard to make some sense of it. Wait, are those bugles?
Is it a cow-duck with horns and a goatee?

Cause you are beautiful, no matter what they say.
Words can't bring you down.

You are beautiful in every single way.
Words can't bring you down. NoOooOoooOOOooo....
So don't you bring me down today.

No matter what we poo.


No matter what we bake.

And everywhere we go,
The suananaaaIIOOOAAAAa NNOOOO NOO NOOooooOO ooooooooo

We are beautiful, no matter what they pay.
Camo flower town.

NoooooooOoo.

We are beautiful in every single way.
Words can't bring us down. No no no no no mmmm MMMM mm....

So don't you bring me down today.

OooooOOOOUgggnhh... MMmmmnOOOooAAH!
Don't you bring me downtooaaaaayyyyyyyyaAAAAAHHHHH

AAAOooooOOhh...

So don't you bring me down..... ughhnnnn....


Today.

Zakes C., Maja, Liz D., Lesley M., DaAn D., Caroline M., Haley H., Geri B., Rachel S., Bob B., Sue S., & Amy B., awoooawoooeeeeoaaaahhhhow. No matter what they say.

Note from john: If you're wondering who's singing in the video, it's our very own Number 1 aka Jennifer Dorsman. And yes, she really is that good. Makes you sick, doesn't it?

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Reader Comments (164)

You are JUST what I needed today! (and so many other days too!) Thank you for giving me so many giggles AGAIN!
Pam Miller AKA Mookzmom

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPam

I scrolled down and read the post while the video was loading, and I must say, it did no justice. The video was that funny. So much better than reading any post. :)

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

This has made my day!! I was practically crying I was laughing so hard!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, so great. Soooo, great.

Thank you for taking the time to do this!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterania

Wow, I didn't know Number 1 was actually Christina Aguilera! Her secret identity has been discovered!

No but seriously, nice voice. :D
And a hilarious video.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPhoebe

That was awesome!

That last cake is supposed to be Abe? I kept looking at it wondering why soeone put the Geico caveman on a cake. LOL

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKateB

In response to the "Who Buys A Corn Cake?"

People who are gluten-free!!!!!!!
Ahh..I delude my self with delusions of cleverness.

great post!!!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterC.C.

WOW! Number 1 - you have an amazing voice! Seriously - that was fabulous! You should go on American Idol or something!

Great post today!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Schwerin

HECK YES! Wait, is that Dobby on the last cake? Hmmm....

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany

I kind of prefer the semi-physically-challenged Scooby Doo to his typical commercialized counterpart.

Is that wrong??

Is it?

http://seriouslyreallyseriously.blogspot.com/2010/09/joy-of-pets.html

word verfication: seDOG (it says DOG!~ see!)

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanieC

THIS. WAS. BRILLIANT.

BTW IT'S INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterxDante

Wow...

Word verification: mydriedi

After hearing that lovely voice mydriedi(s) were...not!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbabyblue1217

I'm not even going to read the rest of the comments-- that was awesome! I will never hear that song the same way again! Love, love, love it!

And if you just read the post and didn't watch the video-- go back and watch the video-- the post doesn't do it justice!

Excellent job, #1!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLissy

Suddenly, it IS hard to breathe. Because I'm laughing so hard.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeiya

just over the top cool. loved it looovve it babyyyy

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercaferacers66

I'm in awe! Well done, thank you, and more, please!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarebabe

That was just awesome - love it. I love the "so sad you're leaving cakes - now get out" great song by the way

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I liked the pink elephant was best. It really did look like it couldn't breathe

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow. I am simultaneously impressed and quite frightened.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

Wreck Pride! You, madam, are awesome. I was singing along on the chorus, until I got to "Get Lost Creep" RIGHT on "words can't bring you down." I laughed out loud! Also, who's amazing singing voice was that? That person's voice really IS beautiful- no sarcasm here!
~Eliza

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG Hilarious. I think I wet my pants laughing.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLora

BEST. VIDEO. EVER!!!!!!

WV: owedis - these wreckerators owedis world an explanation. And an apology. An abject apology.

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Those poor cakes! Now I feel so sorry for them, those mean ol' CakeWrecks people putting them down all the time. I mean really, every cake is beautiful on the inside, right?

Right?

Hey, is anybody there?

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

Is 'Drap Dead' from the Northeast, by chance?

If you blow up 'Bavarian Blast' (so to speak), you may notice as I did that the 'squiggles' at center, 2 and 3 o'clock appear to have definite heads. Why not have a slice right now? Wash it down with a tall glass of Diet Ade! That's Diet Ade -- look for the DA on the can! (That might be the ideal time to talk to him about this cake.)

Kroger, you shouldn't have. Really. A simple note would have sufficed. It looks like some thoughtless vandal tagged this cake, then someone tried to salvage it by piping some rather nice flowers on it. Too bad they didn't wait for a contractor to come and re-stucco it before doing that.

The singer could use the video as a demo -- I'm sure she could get signed without any trouble. Of course, we comment-taters haven't been considering that she might be a professional singer who does CW videos on the side...

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Where is the MP3 for this song? I MUST DOWNLOAD IT!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

I think I'm going to have to have words with my miss 3. She was able to give me an explanation of what each cake was, and announced that she loved the beautiful cake video... Oh dear. I might be breeding a wreckarator!

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Truly Amazing. Best song I've ever heard.

About cakes.

Donald in California

October 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonald

I wonder if the German nude dude cake is available in Bavarian Blast.

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ow ow ow ow ow ow
BRAIN CRAMP!!!

pretty song - no matter what u poo- and hideous cakes...ugh four minutes of prolonged cake wrecks is dangerous but still oddly satisfying

-Barbara Anne

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just wonder what are people thinking to make a cake that says drop dead on it? Lol funny yes but not to the person that gets it. Rude but you know what I would take that cake and eat it. No sense in wasting what I hope is a tasty cake. I can't stop laughing I love this post!

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Brilliant post, singing was a bit pitchy but since that's the voice inside my head, I'm accepting responsibility for that.

Best part? The Happy Heimlich Maneuver Day cake with the blue frowny face, marked as 'traditional'.

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTopsyjane

Wow. Awesome post. It was really enjoyable and it's so not the same if you don't watch the video.

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I held it together until the "Super Bowel" cake. How unfortunate of a misspelling! Great song.. who was singing?

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jen,
I just have to tell you, today was a tough day, and that video just made me laugh out loud, while at the same time reminding me of how beautiful absurdity is. Thank you so much!

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterroundredhead

This is brilliant. :) Couldn't watch the video but I greatly enjoyed the written version.

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOut of the box teacher

Quite possibly the best CakeWrecks post EVAR!! Thank you!

PeacefulDave

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDave D-O-Double-G

fantastic!~ congrats to all involved.

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTonya Ricucci

What a beautiful cake. The first cake looks so beautiful and real.

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermike john

awesome!!!

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Probably one of my favorite posts. It was hilarious!

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPopcornBytes

I've been at a brain-numbing 2-day workshop, so just able to watch this.
WOW!
Bekah at 10:59 on 10/22 - you said it. Perfect!
So, there have been no acknowledgments OR corrections by john, Jen, #1, or any of the CW Team regarding the amazing vocalist. However, is that a hint at the end of the video giving credit to Jason Kupfer, audio magicianery? Did he work the occasional cake wreck references into Aguilera's vocals? If so, he is AN AMAZING GENIUS!

But wait! Somebody had to sing "Ice cream cones... to make their horns..." and "Wait, are those bugles?
Is it a cow-duck with horns and a goatee?" and "Camo flower town" - and that someone has a Christina-Aguilera-caliber voice!

Pleeeease tell me how you did this!!!

Oh, and by the way, thank you for your awesomeness!

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjillb-ilslp

Super Bowel...snicker, snicker!
Wonderful video, terrific vocals, clever lyrics! It's a winner!

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I especially enjoyed the written transcript of the vocalizations! oooOOAAAooogh!

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

that was tolerable.

jk! It was awesome!!! Love it!

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheHappyHomemaker

Wow! Seriously was that You, Jen? Amazing voice, dear! Very fabulous video.Thank you so much!

October 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WOAH! FIERCE SINGING!!!!!!

October 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That was AMAZING!

October 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The 4th(?) one from the end looks like Lady Cassandra from Doctor Who: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cb/Lady_Cassandra.jpg

October 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting that on youtube! Now I can show it to my friends on my phone and we can laugh like loonies in public places. Oh wait...

Um, can you post the "What's This?" video to youtube as well? If you did and I just missed it cuz I was too lazy to look past the first page, please disregard this comment.

October 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just had a chance to listen to the video-- as good as the static post was, "wow!" to the video! Very well put together! And Jen #1, loved your voice. i don't know if you're a pro who works for CW on the side or the other way around, but I'm really glad that you've found a way to merge these talents. (Although, I do have a hunch that when you were a little girl, taking singing lessons and dreaming big, I rather doubt that you hoped to mock cakes in song when you grew up!! You are still making thousands of people happy though ).

I loved how you showed the cakes with the lyrics, and captions-- but, just a technical request: can you cycle through fewer wrecks so we can focus a bit more on each? With listening to the singing and reading the captions for the changed lyrics, some of the cakes went by a bit fast to really appreciate the wreckitude.

And... my boss left our team on Friday. It's a good thing there was no cake ;) (we like her, and are not happy she's leaving us!)

October 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

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