My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

No Offense

Since our posts here on CW invariably manage to offend someone - carrot lovers, grammar Nazis, Canadians - we've decided that *today's* commentary won't be offensive to anyone. Literally. In fact, it's going to be SO inoffensive that I'm trying not to fall asleep as I type thikjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

Huh? What? Where am I? Oh, yeah, non-offensive.

I forgot to mention that I'll be randomly choosing cakes from our archives, so there's really no telling what cakes we'll end up with. Rest assured that the commentary will be completely inoffensive, though. Promise.

Okay, here goes. Our first cake is #4,312:

"Hey-o! Are those supposed to be balloons, or, like, what?"

Huh, this inoffensive stuff is easy! Nothing to it.

Okay, next we have cake #245...

Hm. Inoffensive. Okay. "Boy, oh boy! What a fine, upstanding reputable bird that is! I salute pay respect to the baker who came up with imagined this design! That's not a peacock, is it?"

Alright, so this is kind of hard difficult. I'm sure I'll do better on the next one, though.

Cake #8,062:

[biting lip] Uh. Hang on.

[looks up e-mail]

Well, according to Stetson here, this is actually a bakery display in Colombia. [drumming fingers] Hm. Oh! I know: "Hey, was this decorated by gorillas or something?"

Yeah, I think I'm hitting my stride again. No *way* I'm going to offend anyone with that.


Cake #4,207:

[crickets chirping]




Okay, last one. [Shaking digital dice] C'mon, inoffensive!

Cake #2,093:

I give up.

Denise, Lisa M., Stetson J., Brindy W., Karin D., & Megan C., if you're still reading this, thanks. I think.

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Reader Comments (163)

HA HA HA HA!!!! You're cracking me up!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly


October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

Ah, Jen, you've made my day yet again! Thanks for all of your hard, um, I mean "dedicated" work!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I really like when they mix military warfare with butter and sugar. Viva la revolution!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Hmm, well I suppose the last one could be ghosts or something...

I love this blog.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LTR, FTR. Your blog is beyond a doubt one of the funniest out there. It always makes me laugh and I have never been offended by anything. Today, though, you actually had me pounding on the table and howling with laughter.


October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHermite

Don't you mean "guerillas"? Fighting gorillas though would be much cooler

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Excellent. What non-cooperative dice you must have. :)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Oh, boy. Prepare to get blasted by people who find some of this post offensive.

I found it funny and shocking at times. Seriously - a swastika cake?

Keep up the good work.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am offended at the lack of offensive content in this post! rules.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKashmir

Wow. Those last three are just... wow. And is there something wrong with me that I could just stare at the "turkey" cake and snicker all day?

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Please tell me that last one is ghosts. Please!!!!!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Ahahaha, your post got me spilling coffee. Thanks for the morning laugh! XD

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCyllan

Argyle on a cake! Fantastic!

(You are such good sports.)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterania

I always feel sorry for the cake decorator...

Can you imagine someone coming in and order a swastika cake? Or a drunk baby? The decorator has to be thinking, "Hmmmmmm... Uphold my morals or pay the rent?"

As a decorator myself, I've had some customers come up with some half-cocked, I mean cockamanie, I mean RIDICULOUS ideas especially for bridal showers.

Sometimes you just have to say no.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Anonymous -

Yes," rel="nofollow"> fighting gorillas *are* much cooler, but STILL not as cool as a" rel="nofollow">Fighting Gorilla Cake!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPromise

That's it. I'm offended. Well, offended that I laughed so hard I hurt my cheeks.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

Oh, this made me chuckle! As a new follower I'm deeply impressed by your self control and ninja diplomacy skills xD

I want to rearrange the pics so the badass baby is raised by the Klan cupcakes and becomes a Nazi cake decorator, then has a nervous breakdown (represented by the abstract balloons cake,) joins the Colombian militia and grows into an upstanding guerrilla who enjoys the occasional big brown (pea)cock on his days off.

It's a movie waiting to happen!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDas

As soon as I quit laughing, I might be able to figure out if I'm offended or not.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I'm not going to search for pictures to check this while I'm at work, but isn't the swastika the wrong way round?

If so, is is subtle subversion of the customer's order or inadvertent wreck?

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

Reminds me of a t-shirt I saw once - a t-shirt guaranteed to offend someone. Nuke the Gay Baby Whales for Jesus. Yep, you read it right. Not that I'm approving of it, but the inclusiveness provides a lot of humor...

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Were those cupcakes served at the annual "White No-Iron Percale Formal" perchance?

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGreat Aunt Maude

That. Was. Awesome.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLucky Wife/Bookaholic

You lost your not-being-offensive-ness with "grammar nazi" ha.

I can't believe someone would have that second to last cake!?!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Is that swastika backwards? I think it is.** Does that mean they don't really mean the hatred?

Keep up the stellar comedy Jen!

**I'm a history major, not a klan member. That's the only way I know what it's supposed to look like. :)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Okay, useless trivia time! So the funny thing with the swastika cake is that if it really was meant to be a swastika they wrecked it... cause the way it's placed is actually the symbol for Buddhism, very peaceful and loving and not at all offensive. I guess the question is... what part of the world did that cake originate from?
Which makes it more funny!
Love the blog!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChy

With so much in-offensive material in one post it's a wonder you didn't strain something.
I hope you're at least taking a nap after that!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGween

I am a gorilla and I am offended you don't think we can decorate cakes well.

If I could find an attorney to represent jungle mammals I would sue you. As I am not interested in violent backlash, you will not be finding a pack of cheetahs waiting in your shower, either.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephen the Gorilla

awh, you included the turkey for the Canadians because it's our Thanksgiving this weekend!! Thanks!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

A pumpkin patch?

A very proud male turkey and exploded frogs?

Don't know what to say about the baby with beer and a gun, except that may be how he was conceived?

That Nazi cake is so sad. Maybe it has a file in it and was made for an inmate?

I know Halloween is coming, but those ghostly cupcakes should probably be sold as Kluxcakes.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendy P

Ok everyone, settle down, we don't want our beloved CW to become flaccid, urrr um boring... yeah, boring. Today's post was a win for the fantastic duo that is Jen and John!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShana

There are no words. There is only more vodka.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterH.J.D

The first one has to be a pumpkin patch.. Right??

I am choosing to believe that the baby with the beer bottles and a gun was a groom's cake...for a 4th of July wedding..for a Scottish-American groom..
I mean men are all babies, right? Oh, sorry, that was probably offensive.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

I particularly enjoy that the KKKupkakes are chocolate.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdamOndi

Wow. Quotes make everything better.

Multicolored "balloons".
A "turkey".
No comment on the Columbia cake...
"Baby" drinking "beer".
It's a "Buddhist" Symbol.
Those are "ghosts".

See, now nothing can be seen as "offensive".

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermimi

Anyone who is offended probably needs to be. Nuf Said.

True hilarity for a Friday! :)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Possibly my favorite post ever.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Hey! "Hm" is spelled with two 'm's or don't you know that? It's "hmm"! I'm offended now! Gr! I mean, grr! Off I go in a hufff. I mean, huff.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMoggypie

In defense...that's not a Nazi Swastika.
There are a ton of swatika's, most are not evil. =)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually Margaret/Kelly/Chy, the swastika and sauvastika are both common symbols in Eastern religions in general, not just Buddhism. The swastika is pretty commonly used in association with Kuan Yin, the Goddess of Mercy and a reincarnation of the boddhisattva of compassion.

From a Nazi sympathizer POV, yeah, it would be a wreck, since the "left-facing" form is the sauvastika.

However, the symbols themselves have basically the same meaning in Eastern religions, and are swapped (left or right facing) more for balance issues than meaning issues. (Religion-dependent, of course - in Hinduism it's two different aspects of Vishnu, while in Buddhism it's a tantric representation of the universal mantra AUM, and so forth.) learn these things fast when you're a pale blonde Buddhist. ;-)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly Hills

I love it and the heck with those that have no sense of humor, we don't need'em! And I would like to apologize for the Canadians with no sense of haha it's usually one of our better traits. Keep up the good work!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenzilla

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you made my day and it's only 11:00 in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hilarious stuff :D

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerrrs-uh

Dear Jen,

I love you. Never, never change. I don't know where I'd get my daily laugh otherwise.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKami

Krazy Klan Kupcakes! (Or maybe ghosts of the Coneheads? )

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBengalBasset

Hey Kelly Hills! Thanks for the clarification on the swastika symbol, or whatever it is.
I am kinda wondering though, if it's not supposed to be a nazi symbol, why is it in a white circle on a red background?

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly


The Nazi cake, and it is a Nazi cake, was made for the cast of Cabaret.



October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

This is anonymous because I'm too lazy to "Choose an identity"!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey I'm Canadian and I found this post hilarious! I'm sorry some of my fellow citizens are so sensitive. Lighten up fellow Canucks!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Extra hilarous this morning! I thank you, my coffee-covered keyboard.. not so much!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Honestly, I saw nothing wrong with the ghosts until reading these comments.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

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