Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Oct082010

No Offense

Since our posts here on CW invariably manage to offend someone - carrot lovers, grammar Nazis, Canadians - we've decided that *today's* commentary won't be offensive to anyone. Literally. In fact, it's going to be SO inoffensive that I'm trying not to fall asleep as I type thikjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

Huh? What? Where am I? Oh, yeah, non-offensive.

I forgot to mention that I'll be randomly choosing cakes from our archives, so there's really no telling what cakes we'll end up with. Rest assured that the commentary will be completely inoffensive, though. Promise.

Okay, here goes. Our first cake is #4,312:

"Hey-o! Are those supposed to be balloons, or, like, what?"

Huh, this inoffensive stuff is easy! Nothing to it.

Okay, next we have cake #245...

Hm. Inoffensive. Okay. "Boy, oh boy! What a fine, upstanding reputable bird that is! I salute pay respect to the baker who came up with imagined this design! That's not a peacock, is it?"

Alright, so this is kind of hard difficult. I'm sure I'll do better on the next one, though.

Cake #8,062:

[biting lip] Uh. Hang on.

[looks up e-mail]


Well, according to Stetson here, this is actually a bakery display in Colombia. [drumming fingers] Hm. Oh! I know: "Hey, was this decorated by gorillas or something?"

Yeah, I think I'm hitting my stride again. No *way* I'm going to offend anyone with that.

Next!

Cake #4,207:

[crickets chirping]

NEXT!

#793:


OH COME ON!!
Really?!?


Okay, last one. [Shaking digital dice] C'mon, inoffensive!

Cake #2,093:

I give up.


Denise, Lisa M., Stetson J., Brindy W., Karin D., & Megan C., if you're still reading this, thanks. I think.

« What Happens in Vegas... | Main | For Your Consedration »

Reader Comments (163)

ROFLMAO....the peacock was the best one yet! No the Viva Columbia...but you need a pot plant in there..or wait...the kkk cup cakes...geeze what are these people thinking...what am I thinking?

The one with the baby makes me sick to my stomach.

I don't mind the cupcakes so much--I saw them as ghosts first and had to look for a minute before I could figure out why they might be offensive, except for the humongous amount of icing.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

And now, a song:

"Casper, the bigot ghost,
The lynch-happy ghost you knooooow,
Though minorities might
Look at him with fright,
White supremacists love him so!"

I'm sure my lyrics didn't offend anyone, either.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamara Marnell

Awesome post. You rock as always!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

Awesome! Funny! Thank you once again for brining humor and smiles into my life.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Drunken baby topper aside, I *love* the argyle pattern on the bottom tier of that cake!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The offensiveness is part of the charm :) Just like Family Guy. Don't change!!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKat

People who have nothing better to do with their time than get offended by a wrecked-cake blog really need to eat some sugar or something and get a leif. Yes. A leif. Eriksson, Davidsen, any of 'em, really.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRhubarb

It's the cupcake-k-k.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Excuse me, pardon me for interrupting, I couldn't help notice that my fellow Canadians were apologising for their fellow Canadians with no sense of humour. (Please not that I have just proved myself to be Canadian by the "u" in humour.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersmile politely

Ya...I can't think of anything either!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

Kelly, that's why I said it was a wreck from a Nazi POV - the swastika was a sauvastika. I just clarified the rest cuz uh, I'm pedantic? :-)

(Altho having it for the cast of Cabaret is hilarious - too bad it was the wrong way!)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly Hills

“SO inoffensive that I'm trying not to fall asleep as I type thikjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj”

As one of thousands of Americans who suffer from narcolepsy, I’m am highly offended by the casual way yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

Don't let the dedicated clan, er, group of nay-sayers stop your commentary. You're a straight shooter, er, talker when it comes to nailing, um, identifying outrageous cakes. :-D

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersarahswmbo@gmail.com

So. Funny.

The commentary on the turkey cake really had me cracking up. And the Klan-kakes, seriously, who would make that and think, "YEP, THAT'LL WORK." Or, since they're a wreckerator, maybe they're thinking, "Ep, that"ll wrk all in caps"

Jen, you are positively hilarious, even if someone else gets offended.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Hilarious! Sad to hear about people being offended. I think the non-offended crowd is a lot bigger than the offended crowd. And heck, it's your blog do what you want and if someone doesn't like it then they don't have to read it! I like all your posts and I even make sure my daughter gets to see some too, she loves your site! (she's 3)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather D.

Who knew that Nazis liked cake???

I can see it now...

Nazi Guard: "Fuhrer, what would you like for dessert?"

Hitler: "Get me a raspberry cake with lemon curd filling and vanilla meringue buttercream, and put a big swastika on the top...NOW!"

yeesh!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStacey@StuffbyStace

As a Canadian who values good grammar and appreciates the crunch of carrots, I'm offended that you would think I would be offended :)

Not quite sure what the squiggle disk lollipop's supposed to be, but it wasn't too horrible (and was probably rather tasty) until it started leaching.

Is the turkey/peacock shedding springles, or are it's droppings multicoloured? If so, no wonder it's eyes are so huge in shock!!

So, guerillas like cake too. Not sure if the term "viva" applies with that kind of weaponry. Unless those soldiers are soldiers of cupid and they shoot love bullets???

Beautifully done cake, but if the wedding came after a drunken conception of a baby, shouldn't that be a shotgun, not a handgun? (At least the decorator didn't have the baby drinking from *those* bottles... alcohol's a teratogen, and the brain isn't fully developed until around about age 4)

And for those pondering the swastika, I think the colouring of the cake (red & black) belies the possibility that it has anything to do with the original (and peaceful) meaning of the symbol. Perhaps the decorator was trying to undermine the message... or else the cake is just further evidence of the ignorance of bigots.

If the cupcakes were photographed at Hallowe'en, they're just cute ghosts. If it's the same bakery that did the swastika, then they're not that innocent (cue soundtrack)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

LOL!!!!! WAY too funny! How great to end the week on such a high note! Keep it up, Jen (and John!).

BTW, I'm surprised that the bakers actually made the swastika cake. There is a bakery near where I grew up who refused to make a cake with Hitler on it... check out the article... "Poor kids" is all I have to say.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28269290/

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVPIReiner

I'm glad I am a stay at home mom because I would've been removed from the office from laughing to hard if I were at work. What a fabulous post for today!! Excellent use of inoffensive verbiage!

The swastika cake is a botched Nazi flag. Yes, the spines go the wrong way, but the cake is red with a white circle with the emblem upon it...thus the replica of the flag.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTracibub

Awww, go on, be offensive, please! People have to have SOMETHING to complain about! I mean, if you go all correct and careful, you'll be depriving someone of an opportunity to indulge his/her only talent!

Besides, a Wrecked Cake is already offensive, so you're starting in a hole.

Is it just coincidence that my CAPTCHA word is "Brateri"?

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSherri

srsly, some of the best commentary I've seen yet, on the blog AND the comments :)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

ok, so while I don't get the whole concept of the drunk baby cake, I am totally digging that little gun! the details are superb! if they could blow that up into like a 8" by 8" size or so, I would love that on my birthday cake in a couple weeks! would absolutely make my day!

hilarious post, as usual. all you offended people? get a life.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

TOTAL win. Total.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Were those ghosts or little KKKs on the cupcakes?

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Kelly Hills--
I'm kinda wondering if the wreckerator messed up on purpose?! Like not knowing what it was for and decided to do it backwards?
Maybe I'm reading too much into it...

I'm sorry, but if I were in Cabaret I would have picked a different design for the cake. One that doesn't give a baker nightmares.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I love it... I am literally cracking up at my desk... People are looking. hahahahahahaha

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKellyGrrl

#1 I know, those are nerve cells. The red ones are the most active. Although that doesn't explain what is going on in the upper left area, where something seems to have been spilled... Eww.

#2 The Bevis Bakery strikes again.

#3 So Colombia is a land of flaming hills, giant soldiers and palm trees covered in snow? What the wreck?

#4 The wreck is the concept. As much fun as it is to [poke gentle fun] at wreckerators -- er, I mean, decorators -- sometimes the blame, er, error in judgment lies elsewhere. Newspeak is a very difficult language to master.

#5 The reversal was probably intentional. It gets the reference across without itself being a problem. Clever.

#6 To paraphrase Freud, sometimes a ghost is just a ghost.

I'm afraid, though, that today's post may be seen as patronizing by the easily-offended community. It isn't enough to treat everyone exactly the same -- we must treat everyone exactly the same in a way that makes them feel special. I hope that didn't make sense...

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Kelly -- according to the documentary I was watching on DVD the other night, the Nazis were not consistent on their swastika-orientation. I've seen photos of Nazi tanks with this version painted on them.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergamingkitty

I just can't believe someone would put a swastika on a cake... and that someone would actually WANT it! *facepalm

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWall Stickers

I think you've found yourself a new Spaceship Earth, Jen. :D

WV: featio. I just... no. No, I can't do it.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershadow

I was thinking maybe the turkey cake was an ode to turkey breasts? That's what I saw anyway.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

OMG, I am crying I am laughing so hard.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa

Most. awesome. post. ever!!!1!

At least I finally know an answer to a question that has puzzled me for eons: Nazis like cake too.

How someone can like cake and do the things they did is the next unanswerable question ...

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jaw dropping and not closing for five minutes. Those "ghosts" are obviously the work of someone with no clue....

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I find it offensive that you're trying so hard not to offend me. Are you trying to say I'm some kind of wuss who can't handle stronger comments?! LOL!!! I loved this.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGaliandy3941

I'm astounded (though not offended) at the ratio of frosting to cake on those cupcakes....

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

Holy crap! The placement of the "ghost" cupcakes was perfect...I mean terrible. Though the Nazi cake is totally disturbing at least I know the cupcakes were a woopsie.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HA! One of the funniest blogs I've come across in a long time! Subscribing now...
~RR

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca Reece

The turkey cake description may just be your finest ever, in the past, present, OR future. I died laughing.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersaradickens

Funniest.post.ever. I think I might have peed in my pants had I not made a pit stop in the little girls' room right before I logged on.

Wait, was that offensive?

The commentary for the "turkey" cake was the funniest thing I've ever seen, although the KKK Ghost Cupcakes were pretty funny. Hmm. (or hm) -- Ghosts of KKK members?

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think you should have Satire Cake Day and see how each country could try to top the Colombia "gorilla" cake. Oh, I forgot, they are almost all good saatires, but I mean really putting out that "nationalism" This was one of the best posts - still LOL. And I LOVED the turkey cake. It's just like the turkey pictures of my childhood. I want one. Norine

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Only you could make trying to be boring utterly hilarious.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

The only thing that was offended was my sense of good taste. A Swastika cake?!? Seriously?!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLessa

Do you think it's possible that those last 3 cakes were at the same event? Love it!!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

@Craig:

May I stea-- I mean borrow this?

"It isn't enough to treat everyone exactly the same -- we must treat everyone exactly the same in a way that makes them feel special."

Priceless.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

@DAS
LOVE the new order and fabulous story that goes with it....thanks for the turkey, will be thinking of it all this weekend.
Happy Thanksgiving (Canadian Style)!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkmawesome

Judging by the wet spot on the balloon cake, it's a tribute to that commercial for incontinence medication.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNahhh

Winter.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndy

Actually the "Swastika cake" isn't - it's bending the wrong way. That is actually an old symbol of good luck. But yeah, most folks don't know that and will think its something else.

I thought the little ghosts were cute - pointy heads and all. *snicker*

Love this blog!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjilly-bear

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>