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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov182010

Engaging Wrecks

Impending nuptials are a great cause for cakey celebration. Much like the word "nuptials." (Am I the only one who thinks "nuptials" sounds kinda funny? Nuptials. NUPtials. NupTIals. NUPTIALS.)

At least this Wreckerator knows how to work the word in all smooth-like:


At first I thought that said, "Our Nuptial Hovr Draur on A pace." Then I realized it's supposed to say, "Our Nuptial Hour Draws on Apace." Which is a line from Shakespeare, so out of respect for all my English teacher friends, I won't make fun of it. Even if it IS said to someone named (I am not making this up) "Hippolyta."



ANYway.... the real problem is the line is just too old-fashioned. Remember, yesterday's "nuptial hour draws on apace," is today's "Cong's!"

See? It's a "you say tomato, I say tomato" kind of thing.

Wait. I just realized that saying doesn't work in writing.

Ok, potato, potato.


(Dang it!)

Look, the important thing is that your sentiment be truly heartfelt:

And that you use your clichéd clip art judiciously:


"Dang it. I ran out of room before I could use the champagne flutes surrounded by streamers!"

And most importantly, never complain about foot ailments while ordering:

[giggle]

Thanks to Wreckporters Carrie C., Ang H., Connie P., Lis, & Dana, who know that, when in doubt, you spell it in all caps.

STUFF UPDATE: Due to popular demand, we now have pins for sale! We're still in a trial run, so be sure to tell me which styles you like, which you'd like to see changed or nixed, and which you'd like to see us make in the future!

« The Wrecks Which Shall Not Be Named | Main | Turkey Terror »

Reader Comments (79)

Oh my, the first cake is horrific. What a terrible quote for an engagement cake. Mind you, I'm typing this while still laughing hysterically.

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSif

You know what I would like? Pins with amazing art! Not that the pins now aren't amazing, but maybe you could get a really good artist to look at the wrecks and make something from it? I just love pins with art on it c:

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

tow hurts!

that's the ebst cake wreck ever1

(I was going to say it should be 'drawers off' for nuptials, but didn't want to be unseemly)

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Its a good thing the Tow herts cake had the Congratulations as a decoration-on-a-stick, or that would have been misspelled, too.

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

How do you pronounce nuptials anyway? I always assumed it was "nup-tee-els"...
No, actually the "ti" makes the "sh" in this case. English is such a weird language. My son is learning to read and he gets very frustrated by how irregular it is.

vw: bruckn - These cakes are seriously bruckn.

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBarbW

I can understand why everyone is so upset with the spelling on that last one. I mean, come on! They spelled "beet" wrong!

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Other than the sloppy writing, I can't believe they didn't wreck "Our Nuptial Hour Draws on Apace." Considering some of the stuff you see here, I can't believe it didn't come out, "Are nupchal ower draws on a pace."

WV: feedran
The horse's feedran low.

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

On that "congratulations" cake, the heart isn't even heart shaped!

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLily Marie :)

Looks great!

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterToyin O.

I laughed at the first cake ("Our Nuptial Hour Draws on Apace"), which I at first read to myself with a southern drawl-- and it sounded like something my relatives might say.

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Brilliant as always. I had to post to say that your timing is perfect. My husband proposed to me 5 years ago today. How did you know!? lol

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Add me to the list of people who were (initially) completely mystified by what that last cake was trying to say! I'm nominating it to CW classics :) It just gets funnier and funnier

But for the clip art cake... I just assumed the honeymoon was to a beach, or it was to be a destination wedding. Then again, this being a wreck, who knows?

And tomato/potato... what about kilometer/kilometre? The pronunciation doesn't change, but it works in writing. Of course, your version is funnier!

PS The pins are nice, but what I am now craving is plastic pics, complete with carrot jockey, that say "Do not nominate this cake for CW!" or "candidate for CW" or something like that. I have a craving to stick that in any cake I serve !!! (I'm a home baker and not a pro, so I don't qualify anyway)

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

I always loved the fact that Much Ado About Nothing started with Wonder Woman's mother getting married - and feeling totally ambivalent about it. She was, after all, won by Theseus as a prize rather than wooed by him as a bride.

Oh, and depending on when you bought your comics, Hyppolita actually was Wonder Woman for a while - she went back in time and stole her daughter's identity. Weird story line, actually. Glad they got rid of it.

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Please, please put "Tow herts that beat as one" on a t-shirt!

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Tow herts just hurts!! I think Tow Mater ran over my foot. Yes, I say tomater. Not tomato. Or tamato.

As to the first cake, I never gave a thought to it, having enjoyed Shakespeare. The lettering is a little wobbly, but, ah well, some Shakespeare is better read when a bit wobbly.

~~Di

WV - imast -- virtual ship spar?

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Who gave all the baking jobs to illiterates;(

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought the first cake read "nuptial howl."
I had forgotten how racy Shakespeare can get.

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJesse

this site is hilarious!!

November 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFranky

Hilarious. Great post.

November 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterecuakim

Absolutely gorgeous! And I love the inspiration too. thanks agian

November 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteronline pizza

So I am assuming you've seen the Christopher Walken monologue on SNL...

November 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Okay, so I laughed to tears at the "TOW herts..." submission. Oh...My...Gosh! How is it that bakeries hire (so-called) decorators without first testing their spelling abilities? You'd think that would be priority.

November 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake should be towed away by the cake police. It's a piped icing crime if ever eyesore won!

November 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Idea: If you want to pass on your congratulations to the lucky couple in a really big way, get the wreckerator to write "King cong's" on the cake.

November 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I LOVE THIS!!! So happy ya are catering to us HP Geeks!!! ~8-D

November 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGwendolynSnow

Awww, Tow hearts! Best spelling fail. I guess when everyone checked the cake before displaying it, it looked fine. "tow fine!"

November 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpreeti

Yes "nuptials" does sound funny, let alone sounding as if it were a Victorian euphemism, as made famous by Archie Bunker's adamant comment about Gloria and Meathead's engagement: "There will be no nuptials until after the wedding!"

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBlueBuffoon

maybe that should have been "Our Nuptial Hour Draws on A Cake..."

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looks great !! In a big way .

http://www.ugursanregulator.com" title="regülatör,regulator,servo-regülatör,voltaj-regülatör,voltaj-yükseltici" rel="nofollow">Servo Regülatör

January 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterregülatör

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