My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Teaming With Wreckage

The only thing I know about sports is that hitting the man in black over the head with a rock is NOT very sportsmanlike. Still, even *I* can see something's off with these sports team cakes.

I mean, c'mon, who takes a lovely sunburned R.O.U.S. like this:

...and turns it into Disney's Mushu, twisted up like a pretzel?

P.S. For you non-Disney folk, this is Mushu:

This next one is much better, though:


Yes, I lied. Get used to disappointment.

How about a simple star?

Think it'll work?

Correct answer: "It would take a miracle."

At this point it's just morbid curiosity keeping you going, isn't it? [nodding] Yeah. I'm right there with ya.

[blinking] Hoo boy. Anyone else have a bad feeling about this?

Oh. Well, I guess it could be worse..

It's worse, it's worse!

Hey, you know those videos online where you see the freight train headed for the tanker truck full of gasoline, and part of you is cringing and thinking what a horrible tragedy is about to occur, and the other part is all, "Oh man, this is gonna be GOOD!"

Well, allow me to introduce a tanker truck full of gasoline:

Now, heeeere comes the freight traaaaaiiiin!! (Choo choo!)


Thanks to today's Wreckporters Steve R., Rebecca W., Tug T., Valerie, & Stephanie, who would never get involved in a land war in Asia.

« Wreck and Roll | Main | Golden Arch Enemies »

Reader Comments (149)

The particular quote for the Wreckerated Cowboys logo - "it would take a miracle" - is apropos for their season. You could even say that the wreckiness of the cake is in direct proportion to the team's record.

To add to the wrecks factor of the Saints' cakes, isn't it "Geaux Saints"? And, of course, TCU just left its conference - perhaps running away from that wreck?

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Mindy

Being from Arkansas I facepalmed at the sight of the first...then I cried

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

I just have to say, the Princess Bride quotes? Totally made my day.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

So many of them so wrong....I dont know where to start!!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Who knew that the Saints' "logo" was a belted, aroused, road-killed badger?!

Just saying...

WV: tatal; someone should tatal to the wreckerators' bosses.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

bahahahah the last one is incredible!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

haha - I love me some Princess Bride!!!

the cakes? not so much - I need to start every day here to remind me to be good on my diet... you know, the one I start every morning and give up on by noon.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT

The Broncos cake looks like an orc. A very unhappy orc.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPerkinsClan

Thestral? I thought it looked like a ghost with flames coming out the back of its head.

Thanks for sharing, these had me laughing uncontrollably.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

The Broncos logo made me laugh out loud, hard. Here in Boise, with the numerous 'victories' of the Boise State Broncos this season, everywhere you go all you see is a bunch of blue and orange CRAP! It's a relief to see how awfully awesome their logo can be displayed. It looks like a murloc from World of Warcraft. LOL

And that TCU logo makes no sense...Frogs don't have claws!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjessica-maple

I'm wondering if the Cowboys logo cake wasn't being sold in a Washington DC bakery...

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My Lord, that Bronco looks like some spiny headed alien out of Predator. This post made me laugh uproariously!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdrian

If it wasn't a stretch, I'd go with that last one being someone's homage to a sheila nagig, but that would be a serious stretch
that would be the band breaking.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermissoularedhead

I wish there would ever be some Princess Bride quotes on this blog. ;-)

#1 E for effort. Might have worked if the chosen medium were a real cake and not one of *those*. (Evidently, though, the customer was less forgiving, thus the manager's seal of 'approval'.)

#2,3,4... So much for the choice-of-medium theory.

#5 Looks like a certain character from Uncle Remus. Just sayin'.

#6 When asked to replicate a logo, isn't it a really good idea to look at the logo? If the customer, in a fit of optimism, doesn't supply an image of said logo (though to be fair, customer may have feared that the image would simply be pasted on the cake), is it not wise to do a very basic web search?

Now to the real question: What was the mental (and that word ought to be flashing) process that led to that result? "I have no idea what the TCU logo looks like (and they're not paying me to do research), so what symbolizes TCU to me? Got it! Now, 'Jenny' I get, but 'Sharor'? Oh well, whatever the customer wants..."

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Go, Pornfrogs! Go Pornfrogs! Rah! Rah! Rah!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPinnywearer

What can always make a good Cake Wrecks post awesome? Princess Bride quotes!!!! Have fun storming the castle!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

I think the Hogs' cake is actually supposed to be a "warthog faced buffoon." Just so you know. ; )

The Princess Bride just might be the most quotable movie EVAH.

WV: solissin - These cakes are really bad, solissin to me, you might not want to look!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeathahLee

Thank you, Jen, for making laugh out loud on a really crappy morning.

Now, I know Westley was being sarcastic when he said this, but I do mean it, with all sincerity, when I say:

Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. :)

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

The Saints's cakes remind me of road kill, and TCU?... well, that oft-overlooked and forgotten Texas school has a football program ranked 3rd in the nation right now. Even they don't deserve a logo that looks like that!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusan Marie

Someone pass the iocaine powder... the people who "conceived" (heh) these wrecks need to be put out of their misery.

wv: catslyin Well, at least this set don't have catslyin on the cake!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercq75

I just LOVE all the Princess Bride references! I heart you!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

Yay,my favorite movie and my favorite sports team all in the same post! Woo, Pig! Sooie! (and don't you go callin' our Hogs rodents, now. Seriously.)

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTawni

Love all the Princess Bride references! Gosh, wrecks like these almost make you wish they'd use edible photo paper. Wait a sec, maybe not.

btw, I got The Princess Bride at walmart on blu-ray for 5 bucks black friday. score!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

The Broncos cake looks like an albino monkey farting fire.

We were going to watch Princess Bride last night, but after I warned my partner that I'd be quoting just about every line along with the movie, we went with Shrek.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRJ

LOVE the Princess Bride references, BTW. Was the TCU thing supposed to be a toad of some kind? I don't know why bakeries think that they can just make any non-talented person off the street into a decorator. I am a decorator and it is hard work and takes talent. Thanks again for making my day!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdebbyrose

My nose is now burning from the soda that just shot out of it! You just made my day! Bwwaaahhhhaaahhhhaaaahhhh!!!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha! HA! HA! That Broncos logo looks like a flaming Skeletor!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

The Broncos cake looks a lot like a ceratopsian dinosaur.

Protoceratop I think.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Most hilarious post today. Harkens back to the U of K wreck (one of my personal faves).

Keep up the good work and I say "ditto" to A. A. LeBlanc's post. :-)

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

You didn't mention the misspelling on the Saints cakes...

As any Saints fan knows, it should be GEAUX SAINTS!

Love the Princess Bride quotes, too. :)


November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, thank Dog I wasn't the only one to see flattened roadkill in that first fleur de lis. NiteNurse got flattened badger, but I saw smashed armadillo. The rest of the wrecks? Lemme ', would take too long. Lemme sum up...Inconceivable!

wv: redis
Dissing these cakes once was enough. I don't need to redis 'em.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergena

The Grover meets Kermit thing on the last cake made me laugh out loud. Thankfully I'm alone in the house.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

that last one is giving birth

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm in love with a big blue frog
A big blue frog loves me
It's not as bad as it appears
He wears glasses and he's six foot three

Well I'm not worried about our kids
I know they'll turn out neat
They'll be great looking 'cause they'll have my face
And great swimmers 'cause they'll have his feet

I'm in love with a big blue frog
A big blue frog loves me
He's not as bad as he appears
He's got rhythm and a Ph.D.

Well I know we can make things work
He's got a good family since
His mother was a frog from Philadelphia
His daddy an enchanted prince

(instrumental and froglike bubbling)

The neighbors are against it, it's clear to me
And it's probably clear to you
They think value on their property'll go right down
If the family next door is blue

Well I'm in love with a big blue frog
A big blue frog loves me
I've got a tattoo on my chest
That says P-H-R-O-G, that's frog to me

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My dad is a huge Arkansas Razorbacks fan and just the other day I told him that the mascot looked like an ROUS. I didn't think about the sunburn, though... Woo Pig Sooie!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As usual, you guys crack me up.

Love The Princess Bride references.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCookieMonster

The Broncos mishap looks like the creature from the movie "Aliens". The next thing you know a mini horse-alien mouth will come shooting out.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJMW

Princess Bride FTW.
Always makes me smile!!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth C.

I run into people very frequently who do not understand my roller derby name (Dread Pirate Robyn) and therefore fail to understand why my number is 6fingers, my cell phone yells inconceivable when I get a text, or why people aww when I say that we replaced the "I do" with "As you Wish" in our vows. For these people I have purchased SEVERAL copies of TPB when it was $2 on Black Friday. That way they kinda understand the next time they hear my intro line ("ROUS-es? You mean Rollergirls Of Unbeatable Skill? She doesn't believe they exist.")

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth C.

On the upside, at least they spelled the teams right on the cakes! Loved PB quotes!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Love the Princess Bride quotes. Only way it could have been better is if you'd included "Stop it, I mean it!" "Anybody want a peanut?" :D

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErica T.

Well, that Broncos cookie could explain a lot about the season they are having, bwahahahaha... Seriously, looks like death in a bad hairdo...

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterB-Jo

Princess Bride and cake are the only two things that could have put a smile on my face today, and you delivered both. Thank you!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDutch Girl

I was just quoting The Princess Bride to my boss a bit ago. Spooky!

Wuv, twue wuv is what bwings us togevver today.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLarisa

Actually, that Bronco's cookie was merely a mistaking of the wrong refference. They didn't have the picture at hand, and instead referred from this :

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermateem

"Do you want me to send you back to where you were, unemployed in Greenland?!?" (angry manager to Wreckerator upon discovering today's atrocities)

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

This post was AWESOME!!!!
Of course, a wrecked sports team themed wedding cake would have given us the
"Mawwage, mawwage is what bwings us togedda today."

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That second cake looks like one of the soldier class Scarrans from Farscape.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Have fun storming the castle!!
Add some cakes that are meant to be thrown, not looked at, to you assets

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLily Marie :)

Razorbacks definitely aren't rodents, but to someone not versed in Arkansas tradition it doesn't look like your standard pig either. And the version of that cake is wonderfully awful. I love the ROUS reference.

What I think is even funnier is the dallas cowboys cake. I can get how it's hard to render the Arkansas razorback in cake and frosting, but how hard is it to make a star?

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlastcallcomo

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